I can not live without you. Reasons for love addiction
Painful emotional addiction occurs when the realization of their enormous emotional potential is associated with one person, and all feelings fall on him. And since a person with a visual vector cannot live without love, the question of reciprocity of feelings is equated to the question to be or not to be. Since love is so important, a person is trying with all his might to get confirmation of his importance for a partner. And the object of dependence turns out to be the target, the only concentration of the whole avalanche of emotion, which would be enough for a hundred people …
“I am writing you a letter because I don’t know what to do with all this. What should we do with our life? A wedge of white light has converged on you. My whole life is in you. I love you so much that I lose my footing when you touch me. I am bursting with happiness that you are and you are next to me. When we are together, I am in endless euphoria, drunk with emotions that are carried away somewhere in the sky.
At such moments I love so much that dying is not scary. It seems that the moments with you are worth the whole life spent without you. Only next to you I feel the taste of life, forgetting about problems and boredom. I am omnipotent. I can do anything for you. My wings are growing.
Sometimes this condition scares me. I feel like I can't live without you. If you disappear from my life, I will die. Life will end. When you are not around, I sink into this fear especially deeply. I am madly afraid of losing you. I'm afraid to even think about it.
When you are not around, the light goes out, the colors fade. I yearn strongly and hopelessly, as if we had already parted forever. I worry every moment, listening to if you are coming to the door. I can't do anything. Everything falls out of hand. I just sit and wait for you to come.
You come and I am happy again! But I try to restrain myself so as not to seem overly intrusive, not to kill you with my happiness - there is so much of it that even I myself cannot cope with it. You smile, but you are calm. You don't feel the way I do. Anxiety again squeezes the heart - what if you suddenly stopped loving? Fear spreads over the body in a cold wave. Tears rise to the throat. I can no longer restrain myself - I sob: “You don’t love me! Can't you see how much I love you? Why don't you love me like that? You are everything for me, and for you I am just an attachment to life, which is more important to you than me! And I want you to be mine, only mine and no one else's!"
You are silent, covering your face with your hands. I know you are tired of my tears. I am also tired. I do not want to lose you. But I can't help myself. I swing on this swing from unearthly happiness to fear and melancholy and do not understand how to stop them. Forgive me!"
Emotional addicts
It also happens that a person experiences such feelings for someone who does not reciprocate. Imagine falling in love with you without asking, and then walking like a shadow next to a mournful expression all the time, suffering and sighing. At first it is a pity, and then it starts to annoy. A compulsive lover is not easy to get rid of. He can also blackmail: "If you push me away, I'll throw myself under the train!"
In general, love addiction poisons life not only for those who have it, but also for those to whom feelings are directed. This is a really big psychological problem that prevents you from enjoying life and enjoying your relationship. But Yuri Burlan's System-Vector Psychology knows how to cope with it.
Such states are experienced by people with a visual vector, for whom the creation of emotional connections, love is the meaning of their life. It is natural for them to experience strong emotions - to love, be sad, rejoice from the bottom of their hearts and cry bitterly. For them, emotions are bread, endorphins, the source of their joy.
Painful emotional addiction occurs when the realization of their enormous emotional potential is associated with one person, and all feelings fall on him. And since a person with a visual vector cannot live without love, the question of reciprocity of feelings is equated to the question to be or not to be. Since love is so important, a person is trying with all his might to get confirmation of his importance for a partner. And the object of dependence turns out to be the target, the only concentration of the entire avalanche of emotion, which would be enough for a hundred people. Love addiction is a problem of the absence or lack of realization of the emotional potential given by nature.
In addition, this is a manifestation of a person's concentration on himself, on getting pleasure for himself. After all, when the spectator loves, he experiences great pleasure. And when a person becomes the only source of these feelings for him, he cannot tear himself away from him. But such an addiction resembles a love for ice cream: it's delicious, so you want more and more.
Dependency squared
The presence of the properties of the anal vector in the vector set of a person makes love addiction especially difficult. Its owner is a monogamous, loyal and devoted person. He loves stability in a relationship and gets used to a partner. Family, paired relationships for him are the meaning of life. It is difficult for him to imagine himself without a loved one nearby, it is difficult to get used to the idea that something will change.
The habit of experiencing strong emotions, even negative ones, next to a loved one makes such a love addiction long in time. It happens that the relationship has ended long ago, but the feeling does not go away. A person with an anal vector has a good memory, and he always warms up this feeling with memories. The imaginative thinking inherent in the owner of the visual vector contributes to the fact that the memories are vivid. They replace reality for him. This is how life goes on in dreams of the past.
There is enough love for everyone
Love is not self-pleasure. When you love, you wish happiness to the one you love, and do not stifle him with your demands for self-love. You have to grow up to true love. How? Realize the entire huge store of emotions among other people.
The cure for love addiction is to be among people, to empathize with those who need warmth and participation. To become a connecting thread with the world for the elderly. Rejoice at the success of the children and cry with them over broken knees. Make love your engine in life. Perform feats in the name of love. This is how it is - a real feeling, not closed on one person. Addiction paralyzes, love makes you go through life and develop.
“I couldn't be alone anymore. I needed somewhere to throw out all the pain that had accumulated in my soul. I left the house. I wandered the streets, peering into the faces of people. I sat down on a park bench and an elderly man sat down next to me. Suddenly he spoke to me and told me that he had lost his wife yesterday. He was lonely and confused. Grief was frozen in his eyes.
I don't know what happened to me. My heart rushed to him, tearing the ribcage, as it always rushed to you. I cried with him. His pain became my pain. These tears brought me relief. He told his story, and I saw that he also felt better. It seems that someone else needs me …"
Cry, not for yourself, but for others. There are enough of you for everyone - it's not for nothing that nature created you like that. Increasing the volume of emotional connections, you become even more feeling, more loving. And your happiness is multiplied, because you are born to feel.
Then your loved one will breathe a sigh of relief, because you will stop choking him with your love. And the one who does not share your feelings, you can easily let go. Now you know that he is not the source of your happiness. You yourself are the source of love.
After love addiction there are survivors … Moreover, reborn to a new life. These are those who completed the training in system-vector psychology by Yuri Burlan. Hear what they have to say:
If you want the addiction to stop tormenting your heart, so that love brings joy and not pain, then register for free online lectures on systemic vector psychology by Yuri Burlan using the link.
