How to break up with a man without hurting?
Thinking that the relationship was a mistake, and if you could start life over again, you would definitely not repeat this mistake. But now how to part with a man without hurting yourself and him?
You don't want to be with him anymore. And even if it were the last man on Earth, you would not agree to be with him for a minute. Inside the regret of the years lived together and the feeling of guilt before him for what did not work out. A vague feeling that you seemed to know in advance that nothing would work out, but for some reason you got involved in this relationship. Thinking that the relationship was a mistake, and if you could start life over again, you would definitely not repeat this mistake. But now how to part with a man without hurting yourself and him?
System-vector psychology of Yuri Burlan will help you go through the gap painlessly and start a new life without regret and endless memories of the past.
When it's hard to part
Vector Systems Psychology explains that not all people experience breakup hard. Someone after a breakup quickly comes to their senses and is already ready for a new relationship. So, people with a skin vector love change and usually initiate a break themselves. And people with a urethral vector live in the future and leave relationships without regret, and never look back.
The hardest to endure the rupture is people with the ano-visual ligament of vectors. Even if they suffer due to the fact that the relationship has exhausted itself, still there is simply no strength to leave. And then they look for advice on how to get out of the relationship.
Such people are very strongly attached to their partner, ready to pity him, patronize, listen and please in every possible way. Sometimes, even to the detriment of their own desires, without telling the partner, but what they themselves want, how exactly they represent the relationship. Such people are very gentle, tactful and delicate. It is difficult for them to say “no” to others, especially to a partner, they are afraid of accidentally hurting a person.
At the same time, if the person himself does not receive the same response from the partner, if there is no mutual understanding and trust in the couple, then sooner or later mutual claims begin to accumulate. The anal-visual person is inclined to be offended, and at some point his patience overflows, thoughts about parting begin to appear.
However, it is difficult and painful for such people to decide to break up, they doubt for a long time, expect that something will work out, are ready to give their partner another chance. And then again and again. People with an anal vector are the most loyal, the most devoted to their partner, so they strive to preserve the relationship, no matter how painful it may be inside. Often they cannot get out of a relationship that does not satisfy them for years. Or they leave, and after a while they return again. But this does not make the relationship better. The reasons may be different, one of them is a stable life scenario - a "good boy" or "good girl" complex.
How to Part Without Pain When Memories Overwhelm
Family and permanent relationships are of great value for a person with an anal vector, which is why they experience a breakup so painfully and hard. Often, after a breakup, memories of past relationships torment, unspoken resentments or feelings of guilt are in the throat, an unwillingness to accept that a partner has left, and a feeling that everything could be changed.
Memories of how good it was sometimes prevent you from leaving your partner when it's bad together. At the same time, a person literally stops living in the present and all the time thinks about the past, scrolling through some bright moments in a relationship or some actions that he regrets and regrets, or the actions of a partner that he cannot forgive.
And even if the gap has occurred, the attachment to the partner in the anal-visual person does not go anywhere; despite the fact that he is not there, emotional and sometimes sexual dependence on past relationships does not allow him to let go. And this is the reason why a man or woman cannot start a new relationship or makes attempts to return to a former partner.
System-vector psychology of Yuri Burlan helps to get rid of the painful dependence on the past. You will understand your partner, understand why he behaved in one way or another, what moved him, and then resentments and regrets about the past will pass. You will remember the past with gratitude, and not with nagging sadness and hopeless longing, and then you can live in the present.
It's hard to say: "I'm leaving you!"
It is unpleasant to be separated from a loved one, and uncertainty and loneliness await ahead. This becomes the reason why the decision to leave is delayed. Very often, even the very conversation about it is difficult to start. A person constantly puts it off, each time finding some good reason for this: “His birthday is coming soon, I cannot leave him right now,” “He has difficulties at work, I must help him get through this moment,” etc. etc.
The reason for avoiding such a conversation can be as inner doubt: “Is it worth parting? What if everything changes? ", And pity for the partner:" He will be hurt "," He cannot be alone "," And how will he be without me?"
In addition, it can be difficult for a visual woman to talk about her feelings in general. For example, due to the fact that such conversations were not accepted in the family, due to a difficult break in previous relationships and the subsequent emotional coldness, due to childhood traumas, ridiculed love, etc.
When a woman cannot talk about her feelings, she cannot create a full-fledged emotional connection with her beloved man, which is the basis of a couple's relationship. She can pity him and sympathize with him, listen to him and nod, but without sincerity on her part, without the fact that she reveals her feelings to him and can talk about her feelings in return, this will not be an emotional connection.
In fact, it is the lack of emotional connection between partners that causes most of the breakups.
Emotional connection is a mutual interest in the life of a partner, emotional involvement in relationships, which is achieved in the process of living together, and you can learn to build it. When you do something together, talk heart to heart and experience moments of emotional union during some events, when reading books together or watching complex feature films about love, friendship, good and evil.
When there is an emotional connection in a couple, a man and a woman can talk to each other on any topic and discuss any problems, including problems in the relationship. And if the emotional connection is not built, any attempt to start a difficult conversation can end in a partner's hysteria, resentment, reproaches and accusations.
We are afraid of the unpredictable reaction of our partner and do not want to listen to unpleasant things in our address, therefore, under any pretext, we postpone the conversation, try to smooth out the rough edges. We get less and less pleasure from the relationship and more and more we experience tension, which sooner or later will reach the limit and still turn into an unpleasant conversation.
How to delicately part
To part with a person beautifully, it is important to take into account the characteristics of the partner.
For example, your partner may also have an anal vector or an anal-optic ligament of vectors, and may find it as difficult to break up as you do. A man with an anal-visual or skin-visual ligament of vectors can “put pressure on pity” and tell how bad he will be without you and even emotionally blackmail you. A man with an anal vector will perceive your departure as if you betrayed him. For him, the breakup is almost always accompanied by resentment against the woman who left him. And no matter how hard you try not to offend him, most likely, he will still be offended. This is how his psyche reacts to what he considers unfair to himself
How can you tactfully part in this case? Understanding his psyche, you will be able to find the right words that will not cause unnecessary pain to your partner and will help to part with minimal damage.
Breaking up a relationship always brings pain and intense feelings. This is natural in such a situation when a guy and a girl, a man and a woman, who are close to each other, become strangers. When what connected them is a thing of the past, and they have to start a new life.
When doubts are tormented, when it is scary to be left alone, when there is no certainty that it will be right to part, the training of System Vector Psychology will help you understand yourself and your partner, understand yourself and him and see if your relationship has a future or you really need to leave him … And if you decide to leave, you will be confident in what you are doing and you will easily bear this stress. This is what the training participants say:
Come to the free online training "System Vector Psychology" by Yuri Burlan, it will help you start a new life!
