Street as a school of life. Should I let the child go for a walk?
It seems to parents that by developing the mind, they are preparing the child for adulthood. They think that the more he knows, the easier it will be for him to adapt in adulthood. In addition, the child communicates with the same decent children, he has common interests with them, friendship is encouraged within this environment …
In so-called decent families, they are especially afraid of the influence of bad companies on the child. They are trying in every possible way to protect him from the street and "bad" children. Moms look with fear at the guys in the yard who use foul language, smoke, drink beer and generally behave defiantly. They are afraid that their children, in such a company, will behave the same way. In order for a teenager to have no time to communicate in the yard, he is often overloaded beyond measure. He is enrolled in sections, circles and schools: music, art, etc. This is how they try to "kill two birds with one stone": firstly, there is no free time for undesirable pastime, and secondly, they get useful skills. Modern parents are trying in every possible way to develop the intellectual abilities of their children.
It seems to parents that by developing the mind, they are preparing the child for adulthood. They think that the more he knows, the easier it will be for him to adapt in adulthood. In addition, the child communicates with the same decent children, he has common interests with them, friendship is encouraged within this environment.
Moreover, now many parents begin to apply developmental techniques almost from the moment of birth. All this mainly focuses on the development of the "upper" vectors - mainly from the quartet of information, sound and visual.
However, not everyone understands that it is no less important to let the "lower" vectors develop, because they are responsible for the ability to rank, adapt to the landscape, that is, survive. Otherwise, we can get a skew in development, and no matter how smart a person is, it may be difficult for him in the future to take his place under the sun.
In addition, during puberty, under the pressure of hormones, he will still have to use the "lower" vectors, and then it may turn out that these vectors are not sufficiently developed, as a result of which the teenager does not know how to interact with other people, and does not know how to build with them relations. As a result, the teenager runs the risk of being forced out into the "bad" company.
Teenage years
During adolescence, the maturing person learns to build his own system of security and safety to replace the one that his parents provided him in childhood. He also learns to defend the right to his place on the hierarchical ladder, that is, he is ranked.
We, adults, are also constantly ranked, we simply do not realize this. This is especially noticeable when meeting a person: instantly “scanning” is made from both sides at a subconscious level and it immediately becomes clear what you can afford in relation to this person. You immediately feel the level of his aspirations and determine your line of behavior: “fight” for superiority or recognize its advantage. Until. Temporarily. The struggle for one's own significance never stops and everyone in this struggle uses methods consistent with their own upbringing, education and general level of development.
What people do not do to rise to a higher social level! Some are constantly learning, improving their skills, others weave intrigues, give bribes, engage in blackmail and even use their own physical attractiveness. Teens tend to solve problems like this with their fists - quickly and efficiently!
Man is a social being, teenagers feel it especially clearly. Only in a team can you learn to show your properties and rank, that's why they get lost in companies, groups, flocks.
Such a combination takes place according to the animal principle, on smells. Although we are used to considering ourselves human, the animal component has not gone anywhere. We also have a body, and it emits smells in accordance with our emotional state.
By joining together, teens feel more confident, more secure, which they have not yet learned to create for themselves.
The strongest odor that guarantees protection comes from the person with the urethral vector. His specific role is to be a leader. Naturally, a group is formed around him, in which he is an indisputable authority.
Since there are too few urethral leaders born, teenage groups rally around skin leaders. As a rule, these guys are confident, impudent, impudent, able to make quick decisions in difficult situations. Of particular note is their ostentatious eccentricity and disregard for the norms of behavior adopted in society. All this is not "skin-like".
All other members of the group obey their leaders blindly. Moreover, they all develop. Anal subjects learn resilience, reliability, and a sense of duty. They learn to be loyal friends, such as "we are back to back - at the mast, against a thousand together" (old pirate song). Usually the strongest friendships are formed at a young age, and anal friends carry them through life.
Skin guys polish their organizational skills, learn discipline in order to be able to discipline others in adult life, as well as quickly adapt to changing conditions, which is very important in today's changeable world. Otherwise, you can miss your chance of success and have neither benefit nor benefit.
For muscle boys, it is natural to obey the leader, they are absolutely led. Musclemen are “ordinary soldiers” in their specific role, therefore they don’t fight for primacy in the group, it is important for them to be “like everyone else”. They will be what they are taught, if they smoke and drink in their company, then for them it will become the norm of behavior. It is especially important for these guys to have a good environment so that they can form decent habits for adulthood.
Muscular teenagers are collectivists in their outlook. For them, it is necessary to be in a group at the place of stay. They divide the world according to the principle “we are ours”: “we are from our yard”, “we are from our street”, “we are from our country” and all the rest - “we are strangers”. They stand up like a mountain for everyone who is part of their "we" and do not separate themselves from the group. Expulsion from the group is perceived by them as the greatest punishment.
Parents and Teens
For parents, growing up children often becomes a difficult problem. A particularly sharp contrast in behavior can appear in adolescents with an anal vector. They usually grow up to be the most obedient, they love their mother very much and try to please her, they respect their father and take into account his opinion.
With the onset of puberty, they become unrecognizable! The son stops obeying his parents, snaps at comments, he has his own judgment and expresses it on any occasion. For him, his father is no longer an authority, he criticizes his father's opinion, rereads it, objects, argues. The father tries to "suppress the riot" by threatening with a belt. But threats have the opposite effect: the son stubbornly stands his ground.
The mother is not considered at all, her remarks are deafened or she declares: "You do not understand anything!" To all the mother's attempts to figure out why he behaves this way, he responds with rudeness, which brings her to tears.
A disciplined skin girl who always came home at the time set by her mother suddenly becomes uncontrollable. She shows up after midnight, which brings the mother to a heart attack. To the question: "Why didn't you call, didn't warn?" - replies that she is already an adult and decides for herself when to return home and in general that this is not her mother's business.
In families, tensions arise. Parents are confused, they rush from one extreme to another, then they threaten, then they beg, but they do not get the desired result. Growing up children, in confrontation with their parents, test their "fighting" qualities. You need to understand how difficult it is for them, they, like a butterfly from a cocoon, get out of parental protection, not having sufficient skills to protect themselves.
They have no other way! Those who were protected by their parents from the “horrors” of growing up remain infantile, not adapted to the realities of adult life.
What to do?
Parents are at a loss, do not know what to do, how to behave. You can, of course, lock your fifteen-year-old daughter and not let her go to the disco. But it is unlikely that something good will come of this: she can crawl out through the window, or begin to lie, dodge, harbor resentment for the rest of her life against her parents - tyrants.
How scary to let go ?! Still, as they say, there is no mind, maybe, out of naivety, he can get himself into some nasty thing, and they can offend. Are there many such cases? Here parents do not find a place for themselves until their beloved child returns.
It's scary for the guys too! Around alcohol, drugs, hooligans. And he looks at the world with such trusting eyes! How not to worry about him ?!
To get through the difficult teenage years with the least loss, parents need to build trust with their children. This relationship should be such that the child is not afraid and does not hesitate to come up with any question and any of his problems without fear of being misunderstood or ridiculed. Sometimes adults, from the height of their life experience, brush aside the "ridiculous", from their point of view, difficulties of a young man, leaving him alone without support and advice. In such cases, he can get help and advice only on the street, from his peers who are familiar with such questions firsthand.
Don't leave your children without support! They need her. However, you need to understand what advice to give to whom. What is good for a teenager with a skin vector will not work for someone who does not have one. After all, each person has different properties and they must be taken into account when instructing a son or daughter.
You can understand with what vectors your child is at the training on systemic vector psychology by Yuri Burlan. The knowledge gained will allow you not only to successfully go through a difficult age, but also to help a young person choose the right profession, which will determine how successful his future life will be.
