Pathological postponement: not living, but thinking about things that have not been done
Today: “We have to do this work! Right now. Otherwise I’ll think about it all day. And then you can do something more pleasant … Why, I haven't had coffee yet! Brains will work better with coffee. I haven't called my mom in a week. It's so inconvenient … Oh, you have to run to the bank urgently, you definitely can't postpone it. Well, for a second, I'll see what they post in VK … And how much dust is on the table … I haven't wiped it for a hundred years, when, if not now ?! Yes, I remember, I remember, we have to get the job done. In the evening. I will definitely sit for him in the evening."
The next evening: “I want to sleep so much. Well, yes, yesterday I sat in Odnoklassniki until half of the night. I have to go to bed early. Everything will be done tomorrow."
But already tomorrow, and hands do not reach for the necessary papers at all, legs do not rush to the right place, an important matter is again postponed for an hour or two, until there is again time for it in the coming day. And so it would be to give a kick to yourself, but instead there is again an excuse to evade and do whatever, if only not in the same way. And suddenly you do not have time to look back, and from the moment you promised yourself to do everything for sure, 2 weeks, 2 months, 2 years have passed. And where did the time go ?!
But while the hands themselves begin to do completely unimportant things, the consciousness does not sleep. The only thing in my head is that decisive plans to start right now, without delay. But all the time something interferes and nothing changes. Until day X arrives, and you realize that all the deadlines have passed. Even if you take it right now, there is still not enough time to complete.
Haste, worries, stress, shame, pricks of conscience, irritation … And how can you fight yourself ?!
"Tomorrow", "transfer", "offspring", "procrastination". What do you have?
To define unfinished business in the English language there is a special word "procrastination" (procrastination). In the Russian language you will find a dozen of its synonyms, but they all mean one thing: there is a case, but hands do not reach it.
At Yuri Burlan's training "System-Vector Psychology", this state is also defined - the inability to start. People who have the ability to ideally perform any task are subject to it - people with an anal vector. Just starting this business is the biggest problem.
According to experts, procrastination is not just about putting things on the back burner out of laziness. This term can be applied to a person when procrastination begins to cause discomfort, does not allow him to calmly do other things, enjoy life, but still something prevents him from solving the problem.
Any excuse to postpone the urgent is just an excuse to evade. And the person himself, being frank with himself, understands that it is unpleasant and difficult for him to take up a business that does not give rest.
From the outside, such excuses as lack of inspiration, lack of necessary materials, opportunities and other things seem to be invented. But why then torment yourself so?
It turns out that a step as simple at first glance as starting a new business is daunting for some of us. We know how to continue, to do it perfectly - easily. But adapting something new is much more difficult.
Adaptation. It is she who is needed in order to be able to start. People with an anal vector have difficulty with it. Their natural ability to adapt to new conditions is small. They are led, uninitiated. Starting a new, all the more responsible business, they give up. Often they need encouragement and a gentle push from outside to take the first step. Any stress factor interferes with them, further reducing the ability to adapt.
New is the enemy of the perfect
A person with an anal vector is not able to adapt to changes, not because something is wrong with him. This is a feature of his psyche, without which he cannot fulfill his assigned role in society. This role is to collect and systematize the experience and knowledge accumulated by past generations in order to pass them on to the future.
The focus on the past, patience, perseverance, diligence, meticulousness, which are given for this, are in no way combined with the desire to feel new impressions, get new experience. The desire for novelty is given to people with a skin vector. And together with him, they are endowed with mobility and restlessness, the ability to quickly switch from work to work, without worrying about every little thing.
Therefore, their speed interferes with quality. And the one who is entrusted with the role of transferring experience is leisurely and does not at all strive for new sensations. On the contrary, they cause stress in him, so they are avoided in every possible way and put off for the farthest "later".
As system-vector psychology explains, the problem is that people with an anal vector are also very responsible. They cannot forget about an important matter and do something else with a light heart. Knowing that something postponed is hanging over them, such people will experience pangs of conscience and this will not allow them to live in peace. And the psyche still will not allow to finally start. This one and only step, from which a new business ceases to be new, but turns out to be real, will never be done.
Parenting plays an important role in pathological procrastination. An anal child needs a stimulus to get started. They receive the praise of the closest people, their instructions on what and how to do. If, instead of an affectionate request, the child is hurried and urged all the time, then this undermines his already weak ability to adapt.
To rush a slow person or child is to drive him into a stupor, which leads to the inability to start anything and even continue what he started. But that is not all. Lack of recognition and the lack of suitable conditions for the realization of their properties and skills create the preconditions for many grievances. The state of deep resentment immobilizes a person with an anal vector so much that he loses motivation for the simplest actions. There is already a painful inability to start any business.
The feeling of unfair deprivation (not praised, not appreciated) unconsciously seems to paralyze a person. He seems to know that the work must be done. And others ask him about it, and they can even remind and scandalize, but he cannot and cannot, leaving the case with the most ridiculous excuses. It comes to the point that even elementary things, like the need to change a light bulb, are postponed indefinitely. And if the problem concerns something global, then the situation is even worse. The search for a new job, if the old one is not paid, admission to a university, the solution of family troubles - all this drags on for years. Procrastination begins to seem like a congenital defect that you can only put up with.
The disease of our time
Procrastination is considered a disease of modern people. This problem became especially acute with the advent of a new phase of human development - the skin one. From measured anal, when the main value was quality and respect, everything shifted to speed, volume and money.
The world has changed beyond recognition. “If you want to live, be able to turn around” is the slogan of modern people. But the anal person cannot be taught to twirl by any forces. It is difficult for him to quickly adapt to constant changes in society, in the team, which arise against his will. Naturally, all owners of the anal vector were immediately suspected of procrastination. But no one says how to deal with it.
Experts, of course, advise planning, starting diaries, etc. And this is really ours, native - anal: write lists, put them on the dotted line, so that later on neatly cross out the completed tasks. But you can't jump over your head. And even if every day put the most important, important, new and unpleasant at the top of the list, hands will not reach it anyway and everything will be crossed out, just not it.
Do not refuse and do not fulfill
Why not just protect yourself from impossible things in advance by refusing to load them on your shoulders? But we, people with an anal vector, are also the most reliable. Well, we cannot say no, when unconsciously we really expect our share of praise and gratitude. Therefore, we agree to everything, and then look with horror at the calendar and see the inexorable approach of all the deadlines for the delivery of the case, which we a priori cannot undertake.
Reasons for postponing cases
The Research Center of the Superjob.ru portal conducted a survey by order of the Russian Reporter. It was attended by 3000 respondents. According to the results of the study, it was possible to find out that the inability to decide on a responsible step, to take a new action, to choose an educational institution, place of work, to make a purchase prevents most people from living.
These are all problems of people with an anal vector who cannot adapt the need for change.
But another 50% of respondents postpone things for later, knowing that they will get out. (Twisting, twisting is skinny, remember?). They do not start moving until all the deadlines are out and then, headlong, they decide everything at the last moment. Such behavior is nothing more than the expectation that half of the questions along the way can be resolved by themselves (the leatherman is trying to minimize his costs), as well as checking himself for speed. When a person with a skin type of psyche does not have enough adrenaline, he unconsciously drives himself into situations where at a certain moment he will have to jump up and solve problems as if in a marathon.
Leatherworkers tend to approach preparation for exams in the same way, preferring to walk the whole semester and take up a textbook three days before the session. While the owner of the anal vector behaves differently in relation to knowledge. He is happy to learn and accumulate information all year round, because this is his natural task.
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If postponement, procrastination, procrastination have become your eternal problem that torments and prevents you from enjoying life, maybe it's time to think about how to deal with it?
Yuri Burlan's training "System-Vector Psychology" will help you determine the exact reason for postponing until later and increase the level of adaptation. A cycle of free introductory online lectures runs monthly. You can register for them here:
