The psychology of falling in love - love heat and dandelion roast
Today we do not need to rush between such outwardly similar, but in fact different concepts - love and falling in love. With the help of Yuri Burlan's training "System-Vector Psychology", each of us has the opportunity to clearly differentiate our feelings, to recognize and understand the mechanisms of their development.
Love … One of the few in the world, she does not obey the vagaries of the weather, financial crises, natural disasters. Love warms us up in bad weather, makes the gray everyday life bright and joyful.
For thousands of years in a row, people have been arguing about the understanding of human happiness, the secrets of life and death, politics and money. But with love everything is different: we have no idea what to argue about! We do not know how to distinguish love from falling in love, because of what this feeling arises and when to expect its "end".
Love is often mistaken for love, the force of mutual attraction - the very one that "will come unwittingly." In its most striking manifestation, this is madness, abyss, passion. And in the palest one - a five-minute hobby, fleeting, like a transparent cloud on a sunny day.
Today we do not need to rush between such outwardly similar, but in fact different concepts, and think how to understand whether love is in front of us or falling in love. With the help of Yuri Burlan's training "System-Vector Psychology", each of us has the opportunity to clearly differentiate our feelings, to recognize and understand the mechanisms of their development.
How to define love?
We often confuse love and love. More precisely, we substitute one concept for another, not realizing that we are wandering in a closed circle of the visual vector. Both are only its characteristics, its properties and abilities - to fall in love and love.
We experience the feeling of falling in love under different conditions: for example, if we are just learning to love, if we experience attraction and intense, maddening feelings. We can "get stuck" in this state, unable to take a step further, if we cannot love due to the underdevelopment of the vector (being in a state of love for ourselves, and not for others, and experiencing a great need to be filled with emotions).
How to define love? It's very simple: we are fascinated, knocked down, our head is spinning from a surge of emotions, our heart is beating faster. Of course, not out of the blue, not just like that, but as a consequence of pressing an invisible button, a kind of push, after which a large dose of the hormones of love and happiness is injected into the blood.
Such an impetus can be a real meeting, someone's touch, some gesture, someone's special intonation in a conversation - whatever! In the visual heart, a feeling of falling in love can flare up even after meeting a romantic literary hero: as a mechanism for pressing the coveted button, one's own fantasy is triggered, usually very rich in the representatives of the visual vector.
Falling in love still does not apply to everyone and everyone, does not appear to the first comer - there are some internal regulators and patterns in it. And although this feeling is irrational, not amenable to logic, some particulars can be distinguished in it.
Analyzing the psychology of falling in love, you need to understand the features of the visual vector. Propensity for romanticism, something beautiful and "lacy" (the degree of beauty and romance depends on the development of the visual vector in each particular case): we create emotional connections with cute actors, heroes-bully from the parallel class, stylish classmates, smart and active employees … We single out our chosen one from the crowd on some grounds only known to us, in which our sociocultural projections and natural sexual attraction are mixed.
Although, of course, no one denies the fact that you can fall in love with the quiet one from the next entrance, which is unremarkable except for beautiful blue eyes. The main thing is that the trigger has been pulled - and a feeling will spray out of us like a fountain.
Consuming love symptoms
Falling into a love fever, we cannot soberly assess our condition. We are in high spirits, we cannot sleep, the usual things are not done - we want so much to him, to the object of our feelings. Our first signs of falling in love are passion and a great visual desire to possess another person, to absorb him without a trace. Desire to receive: “I get pleasure when you are around. I enjoy when I touch you, hug, kiss you. I enjoy it when I know that you love me."
Romantic pictures of love, which are painted by visual imagination, tantrums and emotional blackmail, aimed at the desire to achieve reciprocity, love impulses and reckless actions in the name of their feelings - all these are symptoms of falling in love, not love, and falling in love, serving only the feelings of a lover. Falling in love, in which the other is needed not in order to understand, recognize and feel him, but in order to receive a portion of emotions from him, to absorb, like a not matured emotional troglodyte.
All the delights and worries, all the joy and pain, all the fears and hopes in such relationships - these signs of falling in love in women and men indicate only that their experiences are directed only to themselves. Stay close for a longer time, stay apart less - and in no case end up at a broken trough. After all, where do you put this stream of feelings? What to do with this desire to receive?
Flash feeling
Falling in love lasts no more than three years (and sometimes the entire "cycle" takes place in a few months): the riot of hormones and libido that keep lovers close by gradually subsides. The euphoria of the first feelings passes, and the mind, which has been at the mercy of visual emotions and hormones for a long time, begins to wake up from sleep.
What happens to the signs that girls and guys are in love? If in our attitude to our partner we have not made any progress, if in the time allotted to us we have not laid a single brick in the foundation of future relationships, they fly around like withered foliage on trees. There is an understanding that the chosen one is very different from the ideal that our visual imagination created, and that he is no longer able to satisfy our needs.
What happens after? Alienation, recognition of a wrong choice, separation. A dull, unemotional life in anticipation of the next love with the hope that this time the feelings will not fade away so quickly.
Life in mirages
Here again the "object" of love loomed on the horizon. The one on whom you can throw out the accumulated emotions of the visual heart yearning for vivid feelings, from whom you can get another portion of pleasure. At least for a while.
And again we are at the peak of emotions. Failure? Disappointments? Spit! Today I am obsessed with love euphoria, today I again blush, worry, tremble and want to see the object of my love nearby - even for eternity!
No, of course, this is how we do not reason, when from time to time we fall in love with one or the other - our falling in love is irrational. She is fixated on herself, and we run in circles, periodically experiencing pleasant emotions that people with a visual vector need so much.
Does such a person want to understand how to overcome falling in love and reach a new level of relationships? At first, he may want to feel again and again that intoxicating state that gives the feeling of being in love. However, addiction appears to this "drug", and each time instead of pleasure comes disappointment, devastation, despondency.
Is it reasonable here at all to think how to deal with falling in love? After all, you need to fight not with her, but with yourself - those who run in a vicious circle, depleting their mental resources. With someone who is used to thinking that he loves, when in fact he just consumes and is looking for an easy way to fill his box of desires.
The temptation to live and love as convenient
Today the phrase "love lives for three years" is found in any publication and small talk about love. It has become fashionable to interpret it literally: that a relationship cannot exist for more than three years, so every three years you need to look for a new love.
We live in a skin era, in an era of change. We change clothes, cars, housing - and we do it more and more often, without regret getting rid of the old and unnecessary. Recently, our relationship began to resemble a used car: instead of solving problems, we avoid them, changing not ourselves, but our lovers, like old, unnecessary things. In such a world, there is no need to think especially about how to get rid of falling in love: it passes by itself.
However, to use this attitude is to deny the existence of love. Not love, but love - the one that enriches, elevates, truly fills the visual vector and makes a person happy. Happy, giving, and not using from time to time their natural potential for scanty purposes.
What is true love? And how is it so different from falling in love? Read in the next article.
