Psychology of love and sex. Bed events after honeymoon
Love relationships between a man and a woman, no matter how they develop - slowly and gradually, or lightning fast and dizzying - eventually lose their former passion and become habitual, if not boring, and can cause a break. What's happening to us?
"Dear, I have a terrible headache today …"
"Honey, I'm sorry, not now, I urgently need to finish the report …"
"Darling, I feel bad about something … let's better tomorrow?"
"You go to bed, dear, do not wait for me until late."
Love relationships between a man and a woman, no matter how they develop - slowly and gradually or lightning fast and dizzying - eventually lose their former passion and become habitual, if not boring, and can cause a break.
Unleavened sex does not cause, as before, a storm of sensations, the partner becomes predictable, and passionate hugs and kisses turn into the fulfillment of marital duty.
What's happening to us?
Why are we now inventing reasons to refuse a partner, although before we were looking for any reason and did not miss any opportunity to have sex?
Has love gone, and with it desire?
And now what i can do? Go in search of new adventures, changing partners, like gloves, or withdraw into yourself, accumulating bad experience, resentment and continuing this endless run in the circle of life?
Perhaps sex is far from the main thing in life and you can do without it? It is more important to keep the family for the sake of children … the status of a married person for the sake of a career … to stay close, because he will disappear without me …
Intimate secrets of the psychology of love and sex
The psychology of sexual relations is an intimate sphere of every person's life, in which, as in any other sphere of it, individual innate psychological qualities are manifested - a set of vectors.
The type of sexuality, the range of sexual acceptability, excitatory factors, attitudes towards changing partners and sexual preferences - all this can be accurately determined in just a few minutes of communication with a person, based on thinking in the categories of system-vector psychology.
We are very simply arranged!
Our words, behavior, actions and even appearance are a manifestation of the inner world, those qualities that are inherent in us from birth and which are impossible - and not even needed! - to change, but which can be realized, and use the best that is in each of us, without trying to rebuild or rebuild someone for themselves.
I don't want a husband … what to do ?!
Why does desire pass? For what reason does the once passionate lover no longer excite? What changed?
The period of mutual attraction is over - about three years during which we are held together by sexual desire. The period of falling in love, passion, honeymoons, the time when we like everything in each other, and what we don’t like is easily compensated by good sex.
We are sure that this is happiness, and it will always be like this, but it always ends in three years, and we see before us not the object of our passion, but just a person with all its pluses and minuses. This is where the problems begin. Complaints, disappointments, grievances, reproaches …
We do not develop a relationship, not because such is our fate, destiny, fate or something else supernatural, but because we are trying to revive a sand castle instead of building a house with a solid foundation. We had a whole three-year period at our disposal …
The elementary, ancient, like the world, sexual attraction for creating long-term relationships for such a complex and multifaceted creature like a Man has long been insufficient. Sex has long ceased to be a mating for procreation, but has turned into an emotional connection, intellectual unity, spiritual interpenetration.
Yes, in the beginning, like 50 thousand years ago, we are attracted by sex, and only then the question arises: "And talk ?!" But after three years, this is exactly "and talk ?!" can end with good sex as a continuation of psychological closeness with physical closeness, but not vice versa.
At the root of our relationship is becoming something much more than "I want you here and now!" It is embodied in teamwork, creativity, children, everyday life, common goals, development and, of course, excellent sexual relations of a much higher level.
Our sexuality is determined by the lower vectors - cutaneous, urethral, muscular and anal. They form libido, are responsible for attraction to the opposite sex for the purpose of procreation. The upper vectors - visual, oral, sound and olfactory - give this or that type of sexuality a characteristic coloration, introducing its own nuances and finally forming preferences regarding partners.
Female and male sexuality differs in that, metaphysically, a man gives (ejaculate, food, provision, etc.), and a woman receives. The specific role of any woman is the birth and feeding of offspring. An exception is a skin-visual woman who does not give birth and does not belong to anyone.
The most voluminous, four-dimensional libido is the urethral vector. The leader, who is responsible for the future of the pack, is able to ensure this future in every sense, up to the birth of the next generations and the transfer of the entire gene pool of the pack in time. His attraction to women "not taken" for any reason (illness, age, loss of a husband, social maladjustment, etc.) is designed to ensure the completeness of the transmission of the pack's gene pool into the future and is a manifestation of his animal altruism and polygamy.
He is capable of almost any sexual experimentation, since he is not limited by any prohibitions or frameworks.
The violent sexuality of the urethral leader makes him desirable to any woman, since she subconsciously knows that the birth of offspring in this case is guaranteed to her by nature. However, very few such outstanding personalities are born - no more than 5 percent, moreover, only half of them survive to childbearing age.
The problem of the extinction of sexual attraction paired with the urethral is not worth it as such, because it is not created for long-term and even more family relationships with one woman, among its values there is no concept of loyalty to a sexual partner, there is not even the concept of "my woman", since for him the priority of the general over the particular is relevant. For him, the interests of the pack are more important, his tasks are more global.
His woman, corresponding to the highest rank of the leader, is a ranked female - a skin-visual Muse who does not give birth, but inspires him to his greatest deeds.
The logic of sex
The rationality and logical thinking of the skin vector manifests itself in sexual relations as well. The choice of a partner is conditioned by both attraction and getting some kind of benefit from the existing relationship.
Prudent and economical, they do not spend too much time and resources to charm the chosen one or the chosen one, comparing the effort expended and the possible "dividends". In sex, he (she) also saves effort, time, emotions and is primarily concerned with his own feelings.
A special exciting moment for any representative of the skin vector is the novelty factor, in this regard, they are prone to frequent changes of partners or adultery, considering this behavior just a desire to have fun without any long-term plans or serious intentions. This happens when the skin vector is underdeveloped or insufficiently implemented in society.
Only leather workers, trying to explain their love for novelty, call it an innate tendency to polygamy, although in fact they are not.
Having especially sensitive skin (the secondary erogenous zone of the representatives of the cutaneous vector), dermatologists get pleasure from touching, stroking, kissing - the initiation of their erogenous zone. This property of theirs can turn into a love for sado-masochistic role-playing games if they were subjected to physical punishment in childhood, when a beaten skin child adapts to pain sensations so that he begins to experience the pleasure of being hit on the skin.
Decency and taboo
The most difficult libido is endowed with representatives of the anal vector - undifferentiated, i.e. aimed at both sexes. Thus, nature ensures that the anal sexes fulfill their specific role - the transmission of information about war and hunting to adolescent boys. In the case of the full development and realization of the innate properties of the anal vector, the undifferentiated libido of the anal man is successfully sublimated, and he becomes the best teacher, sincerely in love with his vocation and his students. Sexual attraction is completely limited, turning into a talent for teaching and love for children in the best sense of the word.
Underdevelopment, lack of implementation, social and sexual frustrations can lead to the emergence of homosexual and pedophilic thoughts in the representatives of the anal vector.
Twice taboo (by nature and culture) secondary erogenous zone - the anus - makes anal sexes especially concerned about observance of all norms of decency, fear of dishonor makes them listen and value public opinion, orientation to the past increases the value of traditional views in everything and creates a wary attitude to everything new.
Rigid, sedentary psyche, poor adaptability and hostile perception of innovations significantly narrow the range of sexual acceptability of representatives of the anal vector.
Adherents of traditions and opponents of change, analogs are exactly those people who will try their best to maintain their familiar relationships, even if they have lost their former attractiveness and mutual attraction. They are ready to endure painful relationships for years, rationalizing for themselves such an act as a noble decision "for the sake of the children" or because of "what people will say", along with this accumulating sexual frustrations that can result in domestic tyranny and cruel treatment of their own children.
Sometimes, in need of additional initiation of their secondary erogenous zone, a woman or man with an anal vector is embarrassed to even admit this to himself, not just to tell his partner about it. A man regards such a desire as a manifestation of homosexual thoughts, which means that it is unacceptable for himself, and a woman, due to conservatism or also existing frustrations, considers it indecent. The attitude of women to anal sex changes if the partner manages to sexually reveal his companion - in this case, the anal woman will prefer anal sex to vaginal.
In the case of sexual shortages, precisely in terms of initiating a secondary erogenous zone in a woman, such dissatisfaction can be manifested by too much concern about cleaning the house, up to daily general cleaning, or, conversely, diluting food mud around her.
It's time to give birth has come
The representatives of the most numerous vector - the muscular one - are especially sexy. These are ordinary people who live by ensuring their basic desires - to eat, drink, breathe, sleep, maintain body temperature in the landscape and continue themselves in time.
Taking pleasure in physical labor, they choose their partners in life for their hard work, that is, the same muscle people.
Reaching childbearing age, a muscular woman feels the need to give birth to a child, so she strives to get married. Gives birth easily and a lot, often having a large family. Attitude towards sex solely as a means of procreation. Both men and women are suspicious of sexual relations outside the family because it is "not human." They live together all their lives, without changing their partner, because they see no reason to do this.
Influence from above
The basis of sexual desire is, of course, the lower vectors, but the influence of the upper, especially the dominant (sound or olfactory) vectors is very significant.
The most amorous, emotional and sensitive visual vector of particular importance in sexual relations attaches a romantic setting - flowers, gifts, dim lights, bed and underwear, appearance or sincerity of the partner's feelings.
For a woman with a visual vector, an emotional connection with a partner is more important than for any other. The skin-visual woman, who by nature does not give birth, is generally the founder of a culture that has transferred sex from the category of mating to the category of emotional intercourse, mutual pleasure, intimate love play.
Only a skin-visual woman is able to give a night of love to a young warrior who has not known a woman, but who goes to his first battle at dawn. She does it out of compassion, not out of licentiousness. In the undeveloped state of vectors, the same skin-visual woman, as the carrier of the victim complex, becomes a victim of sexual violence.
One of the dominant ones - the sound vector - is asexual, its values lie outside the material world, which he perceives as an illusion, like the needs of his own body, including sexual ones. The presence of a sound vector in a person lowers the libido of any of the lower vectors, except for the urethral one, with which he does not manifest himself at the same time, making such a person at different times either pure urethral or purely sound.
Being dominant, the sound vector requires the satisfaction of its needs in the first place, relegating the desires of other vectors to the background.
Sound shortages can lead to a complete absence of sexual desire for a partner until the moment when there is no filling, at least partial, of the sound vector. Only after that, other vectors, including those responsible for libido, will have the opportunity to declare themselves and express their desires.
It is the spouses of sound specialists who are more likely than others to ask the question: “What to do if my husband has grown cold?”, Trying to find the reason in themselves, life circumstances or everyday issues. Moreover, most often the sound engineer himself is not able to realize and even more so to explain to someone his shortcomings.
Sounds play an important role in sexual relations for a sound engineer - music or complete silence, the sound of the surf or the sounds of the forest, hot whispers or passionate confessions.
The second dominant vector, olfactory, when choosing a partner, is guided by his desire for complete melancholy. The less emotional a person is, the less harsh and unpleasant his smell is for the smell. This is a peculiar nuance that the presence of an olfactory vector introduces into the choice of a partner in attraction, carried out by the lower vectors.
A spicy feature of the oral vector in the sexual sphere is its love for kissing, oral sex (not to be confused with skinny ones, they also like to get oral sex, as it stimulates the most sensitive areas of the skin), talking during sex and screaming. His secondary erogenous zone - lips, mouth, tongue - must be constantly occupied, which provides additional pleasure from the initiation of this erogenous zone.
A guide to love relationships between a man and a woman
System-vector psychology, explaining the most intimate psychological mechanisms, provides a unique tool for building sexual relations between partners.
Awareness of your own needs and desires of a partner provides an opportunity to look differently at your sex life, make it more complete and varied, while simultaneously receiving and giving exactly what can bring special pleasure to both of you.
Sex is both a beginning and an end in the sense that every relationship begins with sexual attraction, providing a chance on their basis to build a higher-level mutual connection that can prolong the love relationship for many years. To create a relationship in which intimate life is mutual disclosure, deep psychological penetration, embodied in physical intimacy, and bringing not only bodily pleasure, but also psychological comfort and joy at the mental level.
You will learn how to bring this to life at the training of Yuri Burlan. The results speak for themselves. Join free online lectures to take the first steps in a deeper understanding of yourself and your loved one. You can register here.