Alcoholism or sex? Psychologists advise to decide
Nadyushenka, open it, honey!.. Nadya, let me in, I say!.. You are a bitch! A prostitute! Such a reptile!
Only a bottle is better than a woman
I kiss her so passionately!
And she won't tell me "I won't give it" …
I'll pour it into a pile and … um!
From the notes of an alcoholic.
"Nadia! Nadia! Open up! " My friend and I have barricaded ourselves in her apartment and are afraid to even breathe. Victor knocks on the door, Nadia's ex-husband, clearly drunk, but persistently eager to once again sort things out. First he whispers all sorts of gentle words into the keyhole, persuading and begging to let him in. Then he shouts and presses on the bell, demanding to let him in. Then he kicks the door several times and shouts at the entire entrance: “Bitch! Slut! Bitch! Open up!"
We show no signs of life. We endure, knowing that a little more, and he will leave.
“This is where my wife lives, Nadka. Such a bitch does not open! " - we hear him loudly explaining to someone who is trying to slip past him in the stairwell. "Open, such a prostitute!" - again he breaks into Nadina's door.
Nadia's "fault" is only that she was the first to file for divorce, tired of enduring her husband's tediousness and nagging, as well as his endless scenes of jealousy. Nadia has a rare profession for a woman - an auto electrician. Naturally, men constantly revolve around her, who need to check or repair the electrical wiring in the car.
From the first days of family life, husband Victor did not want to come to terms with this occupation of her, he was tormented and did not find a place for himself. He met me from work, suddenly stopped by the workshop at different times of the day to "catch him on the hot spot." There was no "hot" thing, however, in sight - except for the increasingly heated relationship …
… After the divorce, Victor started drinking. And after a couple of weeks, his visits began. At first he asked for forgiveness, then he demanded recognition from Nadia in her “novels” and “tricks”, claiming that he knew for sure that she had someone, “otherwise why would you divorce me ?!”, then he began to scandalize and call Nadia all sorts of dirty words.
After a couple of such soul-exhausting visits, Nadya stopped letting him in, but he still came, each time going through three standard stages: persuasion ("Nadia, open up, honey!"), Demands ("Nadka, let me in, I say!") And insults ("You are a bitch! Prostitute! Such a reptile!").
For several months now he cannot keep up with Nadia … What made her so happy when she got married turned into a nightmare after the divorce: Vitya was a monogamous man, like many men with an anal vector. And he was simply fixated on his ex-wife - there was no life for him or her.
Anal men have a very powerful libido, sex is vital for them - moreover, regular and preferably in the bosom of the family. And if it suddenly happens that the chosen one of an anal man for some reason does not reciprocate, the monogamous lover falls into a vicious circle of his own desire. Unable to satisfy him on the other ("I don't need anyone but my Zaya!"), He surrounds this same "Zaya" with such intrusive attention that he completely blocks the air. He asks, begs, harasses with reproaches, demonstratively takes offense, presses on pity and endures … suffers … Then he breaks down, screams, calls names, does petty dirty tricks, mischief and scandal until he throws out at least part of the accumulated frustration …
The situation loops around, causing unbearable déjà vu in its participants. If you do not find a constructive way out, then a woman can become a victim of a nervous breakdown, but a man risks sublimating his unrealizable sexual desires into friendship with alcohol.
Alcohol instead of sex
Alcohol affects the same areas of the brain as sex. When sexual desire accumulates beyond all measure, and discharge does not occur, the large, but not satisfied libido of a man with an anal vector pushes him to rash acts. An anal man, born to be a faithful husband and an exemplary father, sincerely suffers from the inability to have sex with his usual partner. It is difficult for him to find a new woman. Even if he tries to look after someone in the period after the breakup, he constantly feels that the woman is a “stranger”, it is difficult for him to establish new contact, when all thoughts are only about the one with whom he was so good and familiar.
He sincerely does not understand how she could reject him, so positive and true from all sides. Resentment does not allow you to calm down, eats away from the inside, pushes again and again painfully to sort things out. Masturbation at the monitor, on which "dirty whores" moan and wriggle, gives only momentary relief, after which the inferiority of sexual life is felt even more acutely …
Why should he, like a pimply teenager, resort to this humiliating release, because she felt good with him in bed, because she herself said that he was the best man? Or did she lie? And why is "the best"? So, there are others - "not the most"? Maybe that's why she rejects him? And not at all because they "stopped understanding each other"? We must find out everything immediately! We must immediately correct this injustice! Express it all to her face! Let her admit that she is not as clean as she pretends! Let him obey! This is because of her all the torment! Because of this stuff!..
… Against the background of sexual frustration, burdened with resentment and misunderstanding, many men with powerful anal libido choose a bottle of alcohol as a relaxant. In order to somehow relieve this oppressive and tearing tension from within. Once they choose, two choose, getting the illusion of temporary relief of suffering … And it happens that they drink themselves too much, finding no other way out.
Drinking alcohol in a state of acute sexual dissatisfaction can hardly be called “first aid”. This is nothing more than an illusion that aggravates the problem. Along with alcohol, resentment is strengthened and takes root deep into the soul of a man, often moving from one particular "scum" to the entire female sex. It is from here that the legs of the common phrase "all women are bitches" grow. The more anger and resentment the beautiful half of humanity causes in an anal man, the more difficult it is for him to get out of the state of sexual frustration. And it becomes all the more easy prey for the green snake.
In search of support and sympathy, the drunken anal "Romeo" seeks the society of sympathetic friends, makes friends with the same "real men" as he is, in joint feasts with whom he pours out his soul and curses the "culprit" of his troubles. "All evil from women!" - agree drinking companions, most often the same sexually and / or socially unrealized anal men, and pour one more. In such a company, one can often hear dirty jokes and anecdotes that cultivate a cynical attitude towards women and towards love. Through this dirty humor, the offended and misunderstood libido of an anal man gives SOS signals.
Dreams and reality
Alcohol seems to be a familiar and harmless "walking distance" medicine. Intoxication seems to relieve suffering. It seems that this is a temporary measure. “I’m not an alcoholic, I can quit at any time,” says a man tortured by his shortages and sexual frustration, not wanting to realize that he has become addicted. Everything seems to him that everything is about to become as it was; everything is about to change by itself.
Favorite theme of Nadin's ex in drunken conversations with drinking companions is the theme of revenge and "the triumph of justice." “She’s still crawling on my knees!”, “She’s still going to kiss my feet!”, “Where else can she find such a husband: wore in her arms, blew away dust particles, didn’t drink, brought all my salary!” This is how his dreams usually begin. Further, his brain, excited by alcohol, begins to paint incredible pictures, one more colorful than the other. In one he lowers the “unfaithful” wife down the stairs, in the other he makes her kiss her shoes, in the third he slams the door in front of her nose and turns on cheerful music so as not to hear her crying outside the door and begging him for forgiveness.
Sometimes in these fantasies there is even some ephemeral beauty who passionately embraces him right in front of the repentant and realized ex-wife.
However, in reality, only Vitya himself wipes off at the door of the former, each time more and more like a caricatured alcoholic, as if descended from the pages of some Soviet satirical magazine like "Crocodile".
Alas, by filling a glass with alcohol from day to day, the anal sufferer only enlarges his inner voids and aggravates the lack, instead of making a real attempt to cope with the problem. But you can cope. If you understand why alcohol suddenly found so much place in his life. But you need to start this path with a close look into yourself.
There is such a "mirror" that allows you to see the naked naked essence of oneself behind the external features, actions and habits. No magic - just science, proven by practice. Looking into it, you no longer want to “drown sorrows in wine,” because other ways of satisfying shortages and getting rid of suffering will open. Paths where not drinking companions meet, but comrades.