The husband constantly insults his wife, or is it worth saving the family boat?
What if my husband constantly insults and humiliates? How to improve relations with a husband who calls his wife names, swears, makes offensive jokes about her appearance, and is rude to her in front of children and friends? And is it even possible?
The husband constantly insults his wife, and she is exhausted, saving a shaky relationship. They use a humble look, fashionable shoes, washed dishes, a delicious dinner (emphasize the necessary). However, the husband continues to insult. At the same time, few women know for sure how to tame the obstinate. And the price for the wrong choice can be prohibitive.
In bed with the enemy
Women have a thousand reasons to share a home with a tyrant. Yes, the husband insults and humiliates, but he doesn't beat! Women compare their fate with the stories of victims of physical abuse and believe that they are still lucky. For the absence of bruises, they mentally thank their husband, but how to endure what the husband insults and humiliates constantly?
The desire for the children to have a dad, joint financial obligations to purchase housing, the hope to return their former passion, and sometimes the fear of aggravating the situation by divorce - but you never know reasons that make you endure for years that your husband insults and humiliates!
And wives turn a blind eye to angry sarcastic attacks, smooth out caustic remarks, go around flammable topics in conversation. Only for some reason a man yells louder and insults a woman more often, and no, no, and will raise his hand to his wife, which he had never allowed before. How far will this come?
What if my husband constantly insults and humiliates? How to improve relations with a husband who calls his wife names, swears, makes offensive jokes about her appearance, and is rude to her in front of children and friends? And is it even possible? Maybe it's time to solve the problem radically?
What kind of husbands abuse their wives?
It would seem that husbands who offend their wives have different reasons for reproaches and a manner of being rude. In fact, cruel spouses share a fundamental characteristic. She is the key to release from a situation in which the husband offends.
The paradox is that the most zealous domestic tyrants are men, for whom family and children are of paramount importance. And for a loving family man, and for a sadist harassing household members with nagging, a husband who constantly insults, the psyche at birth is arranged the same. According to the studies of System-Vector Psychology by Yuri Burlan, they are the owners of the anal vector. Yes, yes, the "golden husband" and the husband who insults and humiliates, in fact, one and the same person.
Only the husband, who insults and humiliates his wife, has the anal vector not in a balanced state, but in frustration.
In the right direction
How to track the moment when “something went wrong” in the formation of the golden spouse? What makes husbands insult and humiliate their wives?
Most often, the correct image is formed if you understand how your partner's childhood went.
In order to develop innate qualities determined by vectors, a person is given 15-16 years - until the end of the period of puberty. A developed person with an anal vector will be able to build healthy relationships with loved ones and colleagues, benefit society, and become a welcome guest in any company. Otherwise, he will become a troll making dirty posts on the Internet, and a husband who insults and humiliates his wife.
Parents, and especially the mother, play an important role in the development of the baby. And for a child with an anal vector, she is the main person in life! It depends on how his relationship with his mother as a child developed, whether his wife thanks the wedding day or complains to her friends that her husband constantly humiliates and insults.
Mom is the main word
Not always mothers, especially agile, pragmatic representatives of the skin vector, notice and appreciate that their child with an anal vector shows:
- perseverance - and this will help him become a professional, bring what he started to the end;
- slowness - he has nowhere to rush, he is aimed at quality;
- phenomenal memory - any first experience is imprinted into it tightly, -
and other qualities that will help him become a decent person, and not a husband who insults and humiliates him, hits the table with his fist and threatens to take the child.
It's good when the anal baby is not in a hurry, they let him finish what he started, praise for his merits, do not rip off the pot. Then he develops harmoniously and in the future he will have fewer prerequisites to become a husband who constantly humiliates and insults his wife.
"Get ready faster, why did you sit down?", "Stop digging, we are late!" Other children will ignore such remarks, but not a baby with an anal vector. By disrupting the natural rhythm of such a child, the mother deprives him of his sense of security and safety. Without this support, the baby cannot develop properly, accumulates resentment against the mother. In adulthood, a man generalizes his resentment towards all women (they are all the same) and becomes a husband who constantly screams and insults.
Why does the husband insult?
Portrait of a tyrant with a brush of mom
A mother who has deprived a child with an anal vector of a sense of security and safety, even unintentionally, remains the most important person in his life for him. Only now, all the cases when the baby was not praised enough, rushed, ignored, do not disappear from the psyche of such a person. Tenacious memory makes itself felt!
It's great when a person remembers by heart complex formulas, dates of historical events, dozens of poems. The husband who offends his wife also remembers a lot: the difficulties of their relationship, the dates of offensive scandals, the family vase broken decades ago. The origins of the behavior of a husband, who strives to call his wife for any reason, is a resentment against his mother, which he does not even always realize.
The husband can insult and humiliate, because his ex-girlfriend did not treat him well. A person with an anal vector is a hostage of the first experience. If there was a woman in his life who betrayed, laughed, used, he can transfer the resentment against her to the next life partner. Before his eyes, in this case, it is like a veil that prevents him from noticing the perfections of his current wife.
And now the husband constantly humiliates and insults, swears and vilifies his wife with the last words, trying to restore the balance of the biochemistry of the brain. Representatives of the other seven types of psyche do not seek revenge. In their picture of the world, there is no resentment as such. A husband with an anal vector insults and humiliates his wife, in fact, remaining concentrated on a long-standing childhood resentment, on the basis of which sadistic inclinations grow.
Library on the couch
It is not always the reason for the bad conditions of the husband, who insults and humiliates, in his childhood. It happens that a man has learned to apply his perseverance, obedience, thoughtfulness to develop professionalism. In his head, knowledge for the whole library, they are valuable to society. But the slowness, rigidity of the psyche, indecision prevent him from finding his place today, in the age of skin consumption, when speed, agility, initiative are in the price.
Sometimes the cup of resentment is so overwhelmed that the husband not only constantly shouts and insults. He is literally pressed to the sofa, from where he gets up except to the refrigerator for a beer. And he expects that sooner or later he will receive recognition from society. Then he will deign to rise from a comfortable, familiar place and perform a socially useful action.
Bluebeard changes weapons
Many wives may notice in their husbands who offend them, a frowning look from under the brows, generalizations like “I know them! They are all women / men / bosses / cyclists like that! These are common signs of an offended man with an anal vector, a husband who tends to humiliate and insult his wife.
When such a person is experiencing severe suffering because of the inability to fit into society, he can hit the doorframe with his fist, pull the woman by the hand, and slap the child on the head. At the same time, the man does not miss the opportunity to yell and insult the woman. And then beatings usually follow, including the worst blow to the back, considered fatal - ask any martial arts coach.
Such a scenario is inevitable if frustrations accumulate in a man with an anal vector. But there is an exception. Not necessarily a joint life with an offended man with an anal vector will end in beatings. Not every husband with an anal vector will humiliate and insult his wife. Why?
The human psyche is a mosaic. In the modern city dweller, three to five vectors are combined. And if a man with an anal vector also has a visual one, he will not beat his wife. Such a husband will direct all the strength of his bad conditions to how to insult her more painfully.
Sometimes the most cruel Bluebeard will be given a head start by a man whose weapon is not a fist, but a word. A husband who humiliates and insults inflicts irreparable harm on the family. He is a sadist, only he does not act physically, but verbally.
The hut is destroyed without hands, without a hatchet
The husband constantly insults his wife, and this deprives her of the feeling that she is with him under protection, behind a stone wall. It is arranged by nature that it is the man who gives the woman a balanced state, which inspires her to equip a cozy family nest. A rude shout, an unkind word and other ways in which her husband humiliates and insults her, undermine her confidence in the future, deprive her of the feeling that her husband will protect her from a possible threat.
Without receiving a sense of security and safety from him, she cannot convey this feeling to the child. Namely, any baby completely depends on the internal state of the mother until he is six years old, and in many respects even before puberty.
Eight cakes and one … alcoholic
Does the mother and external circumstances always bear responsibility for the poor condition of her husband? What are, to begin with, not advice, but answers from a systemic psychologist - for what other reasons can a husband continue to constantly insult and humiliate his wife?
The faithful lost his position, did not bring money. The husband insults his wife out of resentment, but she is covered with anger, disappointment, resentment against her husband. The woman denies him intimacy. This is how family swearing enters a new circle of hell, because lack of sex is the second reason why a man with an anal vector yells and insults a woman. He is endowed with a powerful libido, it is difficult for him to switch to another woman. When his wife constantly has a headache, his psychological state worsens, and he relieves stress, calling her dirty, vicious, unprofitable.
Some women leave the domestic brawler, but what do they want? Many find a new tormentor. The next husband insults and humiliates at times more sophisticated than the former. Instead of birthday cakes, fate throws candles. Is it possible the other way around? Eight cakes and one candle, huh? - You are welcome. In a famous psychological experiment, the alcoholic's ex-wife was asked to choose from several men she liked. Only one of them was an alcoholic, and she liked him. Instead of one of the “cakes,” she chose a stub herself.
Defective bonds
A woman who is abused and humiliated by her husband has a strong unconscious bond with him. Her psyche attracts humiliation, although her mind strives for a happy relationship. A healthy marriage is not held together by scandals, but by an emotional bond. It is arranged by nature that this carpet of mutual respect of spouses is woven by a woman. The pattern of the canvas is more harmonious when there are no splinters of resentment, fears, envy on the loom. Awareness of the deep mechanisms of the psyche relieves them of them, and cleaning in the head will not interfere with both the man and the woman.
Seeing that the threads in the unconscious force the husband to insult and humiliate his wife, she will understand whether there is a chance to save the marriage. Sometimes divorce is the only solution. Having knowledge of systemic vector psychology, a woman will be able to get out of a destructive relationship with less suffering. To do this, you do not need to constantly go to psychologists for advice - the acquired knowledge will be enough to solve the problem when the husband constantly humiliates and insults. There will be a clear understanding of what exactly needs to be done in your case.
Here are the reviews left by women who managed to fight back their ex-sadist husband and build mature, beautiful relationships.
When a husband humiliates and insults because of troubles in social life - he was unfairly laid off, not appreciated by his superiors - he has the opportunity to integrate into public life and again become caring, reliable. Both his own work on himself and the support of his wife are important. Knowing about the structure of his psyche, she will be able to find the most suitable words and actions for this, inspire him to change.
The first stable results come after the study at free online lectures on system-vector psychology. Get a chance to understand the situation and find the best way out of the situation, register by the link.
