Wife humiliates husband - life stories
Lena is annoyed by everything - her husband's slowness, his indecision, a complete lack of spontaneity, the ability to adapt to the situation, to quickly make a decision. “What a man! A rag, a tyuta, a rag . - You hear, you freak! What kind of man are you ?! One name!
First story
- Girl, come, please! There is such a scandal - the wife humiliates her husband, screams. No matter how a fight comes out! - An elderly woman excitedly shook the flight attendant by the sleeve.
The atmosphere in the business class cabin was heating up.
- Clumsy moron, where were you looking! You ruined my dress, it cost a lot of money! Well, yes, of course, you didn't earn them! And why did you follow me, sit at home, drink beer with your idiotic friends!
Oleg tried to get wet the coffee stain that had spread over Lenin's dress. She snatched the napkins from his hands and threw them in his face along with harsh words and outright insults. The rest of the passengers shrank into their seats in shock. The flight attendant arrived in time - after the next passage of an angry woman, Oleg's hand was already reaching for his wife's throat.
Why does a wife humiliate her husband?
Such scandals in the family are not uncommon. Children regularly witness the showdown, often friends or acquaintances, or even strangers.
Lena has a skin vector of the psyche, Oleg has an anal one. These are two different worlds - with their own laws and rules, desires and preferences. Such people are so opposite that for each of them, even time flows at a different speed.
Lena's everything is burning and arguing. She manages everything and everywhere:
- at work - people, papers, organizational issues, refresher courses;
- at home - children, everyday life, mortgage, repair;
- in free time - girlfriends, sports, boutiques, restaurants.
- Len, you're just a motor! - Oleg often says.
- Aha, and you are a brake! - retorts the wife.
Lena is annoyed by everything - her husband's slowness, his indecision, a complete lack of spontaneity, the ability to adapt to the situation, to quickly make a decision. Everything that characterizes the anal vector. “What a man! A rag, a tyuta, a rag.
Lena took over the management of the house. She has a family cash register, she arranges everything from loans for a house to movie tickets.
She was not initially opposed to the role of the commander-in-chief in the family. Lena's father was not just strict, but severe, so she was happy when she was finally able to escape from the house and take the reins of life into her own hands.
A person with a skin vector is a leader, organizer, leader. Therefore, on the one hand, Lena is in her element. On the other hand, she feels constant discomfort, which is explained by the woman's natural desire to feel her husband's strong shoulder, his care and protection. But even such seemingly simple things, every woman understands according to her mental properties. She perceives as good only what is valuable to her personally.
For the owner of the skin vector, stable income, a solid bank account, real estate, and an influential position in society are important. All this should be obtained and brought to her feet by the ideal husband. Lenin's values are "fast, a lot, cool", and Oleg is a man of professionalism and thoroughness. For him, the importance is completely different:
- not in speed, but in quality;
- not in success, but in respect and recognition of merits;
- not in relations with business partners and the right people, but in good relations with friends and relatives.
Oleg and Lena are a union of opposites, a natural couple capable of complementing each other to complete harmony in everything. But, without understanding yourself and your partner, it is difficult to come to an agreement. Lena expects from her husband the manifestation of the same qualities as hers, and loses her temper when he does not meet her expectations. Only on this basis the diagnosis is made: "The husband is bad!"
In fact, a man with anal properties of the psyche is an ideal spouse and father. His life landmark is family, and for the sake of it he is ready for anything. Even endure the attacks of his wife.
But everything has a limit. If a wife constantly insults and humiliates a husband with such psychological characteristics, she touches the most painful strings of his soul. A wounded manhood, a lack of respect, a broken family hierarchy is a time bomb. Such a man is unlikely to leave. He will endure for a long time, accumulate grievances, but one day he may explode with aggression and raise a hand on his wife. Then she will regret, ask for forgiveness, but after the next scandal, claims and humiliations on her part, everything can happen again.
Second story
- Brainless brute, freak, you've ruined my whole life! Everything! What have I seen besides you? She fed, served, raised children, but I never heard a kind word from you! You can't be seen or heard at all. You don't go home. If you are at home, then you sit like an owl - then at the book, then at the computer you stare. Duma he thinks! The smart guy was found! I would strangle!
With strong hands, Larissa pushed Ivan in the chest, then pushed him against the wall and shouted right in his ear:
- You hear, you freak! What kind of man are you ?! One name!
In this pair, the opposite is true: Larisa has an anal vector, Ivan has a skin vector. How did it happen that in this case, too, the wife constantly humiliates and insults her husband?
Why did a relationship that could become ideal turned into misunderstanding, opposition, alienation?
The future spouses grew up in the same yard, studied at the same school. Then Ivan became interested in architecture, and Larisa entered the pedagogical institute. He plunged headlong into his studies, read a lot, sat at night over calculations and drawings. His projects won student competitions, and serious engineering firms vied with each other to invite him to their place, without waiting for a diploma.
The skin sound specialist was in his element. Ivan did not have enough time for girls, he wanted to do so much! And Larisa understood this in her own way: serious, he will not walk. For a girl with an anal vector, the most valuable is her husband, family, stability. But the husband was all in his studies, work, thoughts. He hardly noticed his wife, did not correspond to her ideal, did not strive for intimacy.
The skin vector is rationality and striving for the goal, the sound vector is the idea and meanings. For such a person, in the context of a family, everything is simple: there is a house, a wife who runs a household and raises children, and a husband can focus on the main thing - prey. He brings everything to the house, beloved - from bread to the meaning of life.
But for a spouse with an anal vector this is not enough. For her, the meaning is different: she wants her husband to appreciate sparkling cleanliness and hot cakes, crispy pillowcases and ironed suits. She is enraged by the lack of response, indifference, inattention. It does not even occur to her that a washing machine, a harvester and a car are his way of showing care for his wife and respect for her work.
At first, Larissa endured, then she was offended, then she began to offend herself - you must equalize the imbalance. In the anal vector, a sense of balance is the main condition for psychological comfort. A person invests - receives deserved praise and respect - feels gratitude - he feels good. And if it doesn't, it's bad. There is only one way to restore justice - to return the pain to the offender. And Larisa gave - insults, humiliation, threats flew to her husband.
In his mental suffering, a person always blames others and intuitively hits the patient himself. Larissa called her husband's purposeful, focused on finding optimal solutions "a worthless idiot, a loser, a" loser. " She trampled his desire upward, for success and devalued important meanings for him.
Humiliated by constant attacks, trying to avoid another portion of insults, Ivan increasingly moved away from his wife, closed in on himself, spent more time at work, did not talk to Larisa for weeks. Several times he left, was going to get a divorce, then Larisa briefly calmed down and asked for forgiveness. After all, any change, especially a break in relations, for a person with an anal vector is like a disaster. But as soon as Ivan returned, nagging and insults began with renewed vigor.
Third story
- He's just a callous monster! Yesterday I sat all day over the damned annual report, the boss was angry as a dog, and even this damn rain! By the evening I had a headache, and this one, - Oksana nodded towards her husband, - did not even regret it. He just brought tea, closed the door behind him and went to sleep in the drawing room.
Oksana constantly expresses her displeasure with Igor: “I didn't bother, I forgot to congratulate you on your wedding day, brought the wrong flowers, didn't invite you to the cinema for a long time … Everything is bad”.
She pesters her husband with reproaches, complains to friends and parents, humiliates him in the presence of strangers, shouts. When it seems to her that nothing is helping, she begins to cry, can throw a tantrum, go from insults to curses.
Oksana is a woman with a visual vector - very emotional and impressionable. Her psyche is tuned to the maximum intensity of feelings. She longs for the brightness of life, stormy communication, response and delight of others. And reality seems to her as gray everyday life, hated work and lack of attention.
Oksana does not realize the full power of her emotional potential. Unclaimed mental energy merges on Igor in the form of nagging, insults and tantrums.
The nature of the spectators is feelings. These are people who, like no one else, know how to love, sympathize, and sacrifice themselves. But it so happens that a visual child grows up in a sensually stingy atmosphere. He is forbidden to show emotions, cry, and read scary tales. It's even worse if the parents swear, fight, punish the child. Then he withdraws into himself, feels a constant threat to his life.
Feelings that could develop into empathy and love freeze in the soul with constant fear. Instead of giving attention, warmth, joy to others, such a person begins to ask, demand, extort an emotional response from others.
Insatiable desire "love me!" can be distorted so much that it turns into reproaches and insults. It doesn't matter at what cost, the main thing is to get your portion of attention, albeit negative.
Yuri Burlan's training "System Vector Psychology" reveals the deep reasons for the behavior of people in a couple and explains why a wife insults and humiliates her husband.
Insults and humiliation, anger and resentment are the pain of a woman because her husband does not correspond to her ideas about the ideal. Often people with opposite properties are attracted to a couple. But instead of complementing, they begin to perceive each other as a "wrong version" of themselves.
The human soul is an unknown territory with its own laws and traditions. If, creating a family, people do not understand the language of this sovereign state, then they remain strangers, live without feeling each other, without hearing their innermost desires and cries for help. They are trying to establish their own rules, to impose their values. Relationships deteriorate, disappointment translates into mutual discontent, reproaches, insults.
Perhaps deciding that love is gone, you file for divorce. Or, conversely, you will try to save your family, seek help and advice from friends, psychologists, and look for answers on Internet forums. It is even possible that it will bring you temporary relief. But other people's recipes for happiness will not help you understand the reasons for what is happening in your family.
It is impossible to remake another, even the closest person, but you can learn to read his soul. And at the same time his own. You can build relationships consciously.
And then from offended and disgruntled wives, humiliated and offended husbands, you will turn into loving and harmonious spouses.
Happiness to you!
