What to do if your husband constantly insults
What does a woman do most often when she gets tired of enduring her husband's attacks? Seeks advice from those he trusts. The home therapist can be a friend, mom, or sister. Advice turns out to be completely different - from "Why should you endure this, you will find another!" to "Doesn't hit, where will you find another?" Another road leads to a psychologist in the hope of understanding what to do in order to change the husband's attitude towards himself, whether it is worth enduring this in order to preserve the family or start a new life without a husband …
Classics with their "What to do?" and "To be or not to be?" helplessly lost in front of my question: what to do if my husband constantly insults? You don't want to go home, and you can't not go - it will only get worse. It seems that you are trying your best, but you get another portion of insults.
Wanting order in the house - did a general cleaning. I found out that I was a "stupid idiot" because I threw away his worn-out old sneakers. I got offended and at night turned to the wall, with my back withstood the obscene comments about my sexual essence.
I already want to howl: "My dear, what have I done to you?"
Husband insults and humiliates - advice from a psychologist
1. Tips from homebrew "psychologists"
What does a woman do most often when she gets tired of enduring her husband's attacks? Seeks advice from those he trusts. The home therapist can be a friend, mom, or sister. The advice turns out to be completely different - from "Why should you put up with this, you will find another!" until "Doesn't hit, where will you find another?" … But she spoke out, shared her soreness - and it seemed to feel better, maybe everything would work out.
2. Traditional psychology about the reasons for what is happening
Another road leads to a psychologist in the hope of understanding what to do in order to change the husband's attitude towards himself, whether it is worth enduring this in order to save the family or start a new life without a husband. The first thing a traditional psychologist advises is not to waste time, to figure out the reasons that can provoke insults from the spouse towards his wife:
- relationship crisis;
- the appearance of a mistress;
- the desire to assert itself at the expense of the spouse's humiliation;
- complexes from childhood and others.
3. What to do - advice from a psychologist
In response to the question "What to do?" psychologists advise women to put themselves in order: extravagant clothes even at home, hair, a figure restored by fitness … It is believed that with the help of these "simple" tricks it will be possible to force the husband to change the insults to compliments. Be sure to stir up a sense of nostalgia in him to pacify aggression. Walk on long-forgotten routes, revisit old photographs, remind of the old feelings that at one time tied two into one. Calmly talk, talk about the mental pain arising from the fact that he is rude and swearing.
This is expected to cause him to feel ashamed for what he is doing. Perhaps, in some cases, such a tactic of behavior will be effective if the husband himself is concerned about the issue of restoring harmonious relations in the family, and his similar behavior was caused by some temporary difficult circumstances in life. However, if the husband constantly humiliates and insults his wife and is not going to change, without understanding the hidden reasons for what is happening, it is impossible to understand what to do.
The husband constantly screams and insults his wife - we understand systematically
1. System-vector psychology about verbal sadism
The system-vector psychology of Yuri Burlan will help to understand why the husband throws derogatory words towards his wife.
The tendency to insult and demean with words can manifest itself in a person with an anal vector, if he is in a state of severe dissatisfaction. Despite the fact that nature is provided with all the necessary qualities of a better husband and father. For him, the family is the main value, but the opposite can happen to him, when a man yells and insults a woman.
It doesn't matter if the husband speaks out humiliatingly about his wife's appearance or threatens to pick up the child in case of divorce - this is a form of verbal domestic violence. Neither counter aggression nor hounded silence can calm the husband down, the situation in the family cannot be improved.
To accurately assess the situation and solve the problem of domestic violence, it is necessary to “get to know your husband again” with the help of system-vector psychology, to get to know his psyche. This will allow you to understand the reasons causing this behavior.
2. Why does a husband call his wife names?
A man with an anal vector needs to feel like the head of the family, be proud of her, feel respect from family members and others. However, this is not always achieved.
The rigid psyche of a person with an anal vector slows him down in everything - both in movements and in decision-making. He has a hard time getting used to changes in life, does not know how to adapt to its new rules, may not keep up with the pace of a big city. Therefore, such a man, with all his inclinations as an excellent specialist, can find it difficult to realize himself in social life. This is constant stress for him.
The impossibility of providing for a family and children is a heavy burden on a man. Stress is aggravated when the wife, not understanding the mental structure of her husband, begins to show discontent, to doubt his ability to be the head of the family. A woman from whom he expects respect, pride for him, is capable of inflicting a deep insult with one thoughtless word.
The constant failure to fulfill their desires - to be a respected professional in society and the best husband in family life - creates great frustrations for such a person. And one day they break the dam of common sense, attacking the wife with all the power of verbal sadism. What does a husband do when he verbally humiliates his wife? Unconsciously restores his shaky psychological balance.
3. Why does the husband swear?
The use of swear words, as a rule, is associated with the accumulation of frustrations or a low cultural level of a man. One of the most common causes of frustration is chronic sexual dissatisfaction.
A man with an anal vector has one of the highest levels of sexual energy. He tries to give the woman satisfaction in the family bed. And he expects exactly the same for himself, because people with the anal vector "should have everything equally." But it happens that a woman refuses intimacy, citing fatigue, headache, the need to get up early … Often she does not even realize that the lack of sex significantly worsens the psychological state of her husband. A man with an anal vector is very patient. He can be in such a situation for a long time. But this shortage also accumulates, and at some point the man relieves the accumulated tension, accusing his wife that she is a bad housewife and mother, calling him dirty words even in front of children; he curses his wife, trying to humiliate her more, to cause moral pain.
Children in such a situation experience severe psychological stress, destroying their psyche and depriving them of their ability to realize themselves in life and build happy relationships.
4. What should I do?
To do something and understand what it is, you need to remember when the husband began to behave this way. If, even during the courtship period, a man yelled and insulted women, relatives or strangers, it must be understood that such an attitude with a high degree of probability will be reflected in the future and on his wife. This behavior is typical of a man with a bad relationship experience and / or resentment towards his mother. Possessing such a feature as the generalization of bad experiences, he sees all women in a negative light, does not trust them, which leads to outbursts of verbal aggression against them.
If the marital experience is still small, it is possible to try to save the relationship if you correctly build an emotional connection with your husband. It is advisable to have time to do this in the first three years, while the attraction to each other has not cooled yet - something that helps smooth out the rough edges in the relationship. When a woman gradually opens her soul to her husband, talking about her childhood, parents, he will gradually begin to open up in response. These are very important topics for a person with an anal vector, because he keeps the memory of the past, respects his parents and will appreciate such confidential conversations. The atmosphere of trust created by a woman is capable of restoring the mental balance of her husband, setting him up for positive contact with his wife, laying the foundation on which a strong relationship can be built.
What absolutely must not be done is to talk about your former men. This is a time bomb under the foundation of the family. The husband's unique memory will make him constantly mentally return to these partners, and the woman will experience the full horror of verbal sadism.
Of course, it is not easy to understand all the intricacies and important nuances of building an emotional connection with a man without preparation. Here the woman will come to the aid of the free online training "System-vector psychology" by Yuri Burlan.
But what if the relationship between the spouses was good for a long time, but at some point the husband began to constantly insult his wife? It is necessary to listen to the hidden meaning of his words.
Having learned with the help of systemic psychology the properties and abilities of a husband, a woman will easily understand his lack and desires. This new knowledge about her husband and herself will reveal to the woman the nature of humiliating attacks against her. Will help to exclude actions and words that can offend her husband. After all, often insults to the wife are revenge for the insult.
It is important to create for him, at least within the boundaries of the apartment, a territory of stability, slowness, which he is deprived of from the outside. You can discuss with him minimal changes in the situation if the wife's vectors require a periodic change of scenery. Let his favorite slippers always remain in the same place as a symbol of constancy.
Lunches and dinners at a common family table with a leisurely conversation unite people surprisingly effectively.
The husband needs words of gratitude for the good that he does for the family. Remember, he needs the support of his wife like no one else.
Take the next step
Most likely, the woman will be indignant: “But what about me, who will think of me? After all, I am the injured party!"
Of course, every woman enters a relationship to be happy, not humiliated. Having sorted out this difficult situation systematically, a woman will understand what first steps need to be taken and will have a real opportunity to change her life for the better.
This is confirmed by more than 21 thousand results of people who managed to solve the most difficult problems thanks to the knowledge of system-vector psychology. There are simply no other options for getting out of a traumatic situation.
It will not dissipate by itself, much more often the tension only aggravates over time. It happens that the condition of a man is already so difficult that there is not a single chance to change the relationship - just to run away from the sadist, until fists are used. Therefore, it is very important to accurately understand the inner state of a man. Only then it will become clear whether something can be done to normalize relations. And even if a woman decides to leave, she will understand how to do it without injuries, so as not to endure the persecution of her ex-husband for the rest of her life.
What if my husband constantly insults? The answer to this question was found by many women - former victims of their sadist husbands, who turned to Yuri Burlan's system-vector psychology for help.
Now they share their results:
Do you want to find your way to change the situation? Do not give up the hope of doing this, come to the free online training "System-vector psychology" by Yuri Burlan.
