"Steppenwolf" in the swamps. Or when you're out of place on this planet
Harry Galler, the hero of the novel Steppenwolf, is more difficult. He lives "with a heart heavy from sadness, from desperate longing for life, for reality, for meaning, for what is irrevocably lost." Often he wants to end this life and is looking for a way to quickly die. Nothing holds him in the material world. And an illusion arises that you can get to the root cause not by your conscious work, but through the back door - by committing suicide …
When you are looking for the fifth corner, when the very form of life seems cramped for your mind, and people are stupid and limited, when you are different, but you cannot escape from this empty world … Then there is no choice but to understand what is happening in the soul … There are resources for this now.
Harry Galler, the hero of the novel Steppenwolf, is more difficult. He lives "with a heart heavy from sadness, from desperate longing for life, for reality, for meaning, for what is irrevocably lost." Often he wants to end this life and is looking for a way to quickly die. Then he again gropingly tries to catch the saving thread, which leads either to salvation or to madness.
The author of the novel, Hermann Hesse, himself knew these states firsthand. He searched, he toiled, he tried to commit suicide, he ended up in a psychiatric clinic, he went to psychoanalysis sessions with Joseph Lang, he wrote, he tried to reveal the true causes of difficult internal conditions.
The writer actively studied the works of the greatest psychoanalysts of the twentieth century - Z. Freud, A. Adler, K. Jung. He believed: "When an explanation is found for fears, false ideas, suppressed instincts, then life and personality appear in their higher and purer meaning." Hesse's works are permeated with a spiritual search.
In the XXI century, all the causes and consequences of internal contradictions are revealed by the System-Vector Psychology of Yuri Burlan. The training allows you to understand the hero of the novel rushing around inside yourself, and at the same time to look into the depths of your own unknown soul.
A miserable life, torn by contradictions
Harry believed that his essence contained a man and a Steppenwolf. And they didn't get along inside. When Harry the Human did something kind and noble, the wolf in him scoffed arrogantly and bared his teeth. When the wolf bared its wild nature, showed hostility to others, the human half reproached and shamed the beast. There has never been peace.
Systemically, this can be explained by the fact that the properties of visual and sound vectors are embedded in the hero's psyche. The first makes him a sensual extrovert - he naturally reaches out to other people, stands for world peace, is interested in art, feels fine. The second vector turns Harry into a total introvert who does not tolerate the pettiness of the thoughts of others and is looking for the essence of being in himself.
But the most difficult thing is not the combination of polar qualities in the hero as such, but the burden in the soul, arising from the inability to fill the huge desires of the sound vector. Why he increasingly identifies himself with a wolf doomed to pain and loneliness, misunderstood by other people.
"There were tens of thousands of other, unknown pictures and sounds, whose homeland, whose seeing eye and sensitive ear was my only soul."
And in the soul of the wolf
"One of the signs of the Steppenwolf was that he was an evening man … In the mornings he never had good thoughts."
The nocturnal lifestyle is typical not only for wolves. The night for sound specialists is a special time for hunting, hunting for thoughts. It is their natural task to think with concentration. When they do it at least partially, it becomes easier for them. Sound scientists are created to comprehend. Once upon a time they had enough philosophy, physics, music, literature. But the desire grows with every generation. And the sound engineer demands from himself to find a clear justification for staying on earth. Only he has the necessary resource for this - abstract intellect, which chases him after the night prey of the mind, preventing him from falling asleep.
"But there was still some meaning in my stupid life, something in me answered the call from distant heights, something caught it."
A passionate need for solitude
Someone loved Harry, someone appreciated his mind, someone longed to communicate with him, someone wanted to restrain him, someone just to be there - he most of all appreciated independence. Harry wanted to be alone, so as not to interfere with thinking, not be distracted by his petty bourgeois problems.
The aspirations of other people seem scanty to the soundman. For him, the world revolves around his thought process. But, closing in on himself, he ceases to see the general trajectory. And he cannot break out of the vicious circle to others, without overcoming the derogatory attitude towards them.
The solitude that his sonic nature strove for led him to a dead end. "The world in some ominous way left him alone" - to suffocate "in an increasingly thin air of loneliness and isolation."
Once he tried to free himself from his own imprisonment, accepting the invitation of an old acquaintance, but rude to his family at dinner. Harry realized that he was no longer capable of normal contact. He was alone, whoever he was with. He lacked a deep connection with the person, but he was too heavy for anyone to want to get so close to him.
Wednesday's slippage led Harry more and more to exercise his choice.
Belonging to suicides
Harry makes his fiftieth birthday a day of freedom from the burdens of life in the body. In moments of immersion in a pitch-black spiritual void, he prepares a sharp razor. "The thought that he was free to die at any moment, he found support and consolation."
All the mental power of the sound engineer is turned into the metaphysical world. He seeks to comprehend the universe and his place in it. But without going beyond the limits of his own reasoning, he is not able to fulfill this task. From which he experiences colossal mental pain, up to a global claim to the creator:
"All human life is just an evil mistake, a miscarriage of the foremother, a wild, terribly unsuccessful experiment."
Nothing holds him in the material world. And the illusion arises that you can get to the root cause not by your conscious work, but through the back door - by committing suicide.
Not a single living creature in nature is able to force itself to jump out the window. Only a person can decide on this. This is proof of his freedom of choice and will. Choose life and find meaning in it, or choose death. It seemed to Harry that the second way would at least save him from suffering.
Magic theater for the mad only
"You are too demanding and hungry for this simple, lazy, unassuming world today, it will throw you away, you have one more dimension than it needs."
In search of himself, Harry finds himself in the "Magic Theater". And he finds himself in a cycle of events, illusions and fears inside himself. This is a world where you are not able to control the wildness and irrepressibility of your subconscious. Where you can't tell - is it a game or reality, where the unsightly underside of your soul enters the circus arena.
Individual consciousness is tiny in comparison with the huge volume of the psyche of the entire human species. It is precisely her comprehension that the sound engineer needs, but he is locked up. His mind alone cannot grasp what it so desires.
In this case, only the sound engineer has an organ of perception of another reality. Five senses sense a particle, and only sound - a wave. At the sensory level, his subtlest hearing captures the vibrations of sounds, creates music, at the conscious level, he comprehends and generates meanings. Perceives the world of causes.
The striving for cognition of metaphysical reality - the human psyche - leads sound specialists into mind games. Often, seeking to change the state of consciousness, sense seekers take drugs to expand the boundaries of their awareness. But the opposite effect occurs. The essence escapes the bewildered mind.
The worst thing for a sound engineer is going crazy. Controlling your mind means, on the contrary, being able to comprehend the hidden meaning of life. You can't kill a sonic wolf out of yourself. But it will be possible to understand why he whined inside. And then really rush with your thinking beast towards the steppe winds of new discoveries about man.
"We fell out of nature and hang in the void" for a reason
The psyche is desire. The soundman's desire is the meaning. When the psyche is looking for the meaning of life and is not filled, it suffers incredibly. Depression occurs. She pushes the sound engineer to develop into his opposite - from an unsociable hermit, fixated on himself, into a person who is able to comprehend the general plan of all mankind. Focusing on others uncovers sonic genius. On myself - an unhappy person outside of an integral system.
Some sound specialists write about their pain, other sound people find their reflection in these descriptions, but neither the one nor the other does the pain itself go anywhere. We scream our lacks. Loud or silent. Someone rushes at people, someone hides from them, someone wants to die, someone wants to kill - everyone wants it to be painful.
System-vector psychology makes it possible to understand the essence of the problem of sound search. And then thoughts appear about how to fill your existence with great meaning, without which for a sound engineer every breath is a pain.
Hesse dreamed: “If we had a science with sufficient courage and a sufficient sense of responsibility to deal with man, and not just the mechanisms of life processes …” Now there is such a science. You can find out more about it at the free online training.