From endless self-flagellation to inflated conceit. Part 2
As long as we sit and think about ourselves, we will not realize our potential. We rob ourselves and do not give ourselves the opportunity to realize our aspirations, desires inherent in us by nature. While we think about ourselves, other people realize our goals. So maybe it's time to stop thinking about yourself and start acting?
Part 1
Am I in my place?
Often, low self-esteem appears when a person tries to meet someone else's standard, does not take up his job. For example, the owner of an anal vector tries to imitate the properties of a person with a skin vector - to do several things at the same time, quickly switch from one thing to another, and so on.
Working in this mode, he soon realizes that he still cannot cope: he cannot do everything as quickly as in people with a skin vector. He still gets stuck on the details and cannot follow the strict regime of the day, because people with an anal vector, unlike skinny ones, do not feel the passage of time. Their minds are turned to the past - to the careful collection of data, to the study of literature, to the observance of traditions. When compared to a leatherback, they may feel inferior.
For a leader, whose task is to strictly organize the work process, to be exacting towards subordinates, the anal-visual ligament becomes a big obstacle. The gentleness and a certain statement of such a person do not allow him to ask subordinates to fulfill the deadlines. Comparing himself in this aspect with others, such a person feels that he is worse.
Understanding the properties of our psyche and our role, we stop comparing ourselves with others and focus on fulfilling our task in society.
In pursuit of the top of the hierarchy
By the way, about the skin vector. People with a skin vector have an innate desire for property and material superiority. It is they who strive to earn as much as possible, move up the career ladder. And for this they are given all the necessary properties - logical mind, adaptability, the ability to limit. It is they who first learn to limit themselves, observing the daily routine, giving up sweets and observing a healthy lifestyle. The skin vector is the ability to cut off everything that is harmful and surround yourself with only useful.
Subsequently, such people can already restrict others, creating laws in society, leading large groups of people - this is their organizational and leadership talent. From the outside, such people seem self-confident, and it is quite possible to say about them that they have high self-esteem. However, they simply go to achieve their goals, realize what is inherent in them by nature. And what is interesting, a developed dermal person who is in the place of a leader, as a rule, does not think about self-esteem - his head is occupied with tasks that he must solve daily and urgently.
In their quest for the pinnacle of success, leatherworkers always compete and try to prove that they are capable of being leaders and leaders. In fact, they can be leaders, but they also need to obey someone, someone who stands above them. And this is their psychological comfort. A leather worker is not a leader. His task is much more modest, and he can only lead the flock forward at short distances.
But at the very top of the hierarchy is a person with a urethral vector. He is a leader because he is aimed at giving back to the whole flock. Such a person is adored by their own and hated by others. It gives a sense of security and safety to everyone around. He does not need to prove his right to the throne - he is beyond competition by nature. He was born this way - dominant, because his nature is animal altruism. He does not ask questions of self-esteem, because he is completely occupied with solving issues that are aimed at the survival of the entire pack. Being at the very top of the hierarchy, he thinks of himself less than others, he is completely focused on the people around him. So maybe we should take an example from him?
There is no "I", there is "WE"
People with a muscle vector form the base of the hierarchy - they are the majority. 95% of the people in the vector set have a muscle vector, and 38% have pure muscle. These are people who do not have their own "I". They identify with a group of people. For them there is a single "WE" on a territorial basis - a village, a village, a city where they live. They think like most.
Such people have the lowest libido, their desires are the simplest - to eat, drink, breathe, sleep. They are the workers and builders. And without their daily monotonous work, we simply would not have survived and could not adapt to the landscape. Such people do not even have a question about self-esteem, because they do not have a sense of a separate "I". They are ideally integrated into the environment and ensure the survival and reproduction of generations, giving birth to many children.
High self-esteem: "You've become a star!"
Overestimated self-esteem, that is, the tendency to overestimate their strengths, can also occur in a person with a visual vector. With a high imaginative intelligence, he can look down at other people, showing snobbery. He bears his education and erudition as a great value, and considers other people subhuman, without even understanding their knowledge.
This is how a person with a visual vector who has received intellectual development in childhood, but has not learned to empathize and sympathize with others, can manifest himself in this way. The visual vector is two in one, intelligence and sensuality. We develop both before puberty. It is always easy for a visual person to gain intelligence, because by nature he has figurative thinking and good visual memory. He is easily given humanitarian subjects.
Sensual development of the visual vector is the establishment of emotional connections. And this is something that cannot be done alone. That is why the environment is so important for the formation of a person. Man is a social form of life, and he cannot grow up as a man in isolation from others.
The spectator is born with a feeling of fear for his own life, and only in the process of education does he learn to transform this fear into sympathy for others. He begins to feel that when someone falls and bruises his leg, it hurts as much as if he himself fell. And this sympathy for others pushes a person with a visual vector to help - to bandage the wound, take him to the emergency room. And this same ability to understand the pain and suffering of another person gets rid of snobbery, washes away the feeling of one's own superiority. “Why am I worse or better than others? Everyone performs their tasks."
But it so happens that a person grows up intellectually developed, but with a false sense of his own intellectual superiority over others due to insufficient sensory development. Grows up not taught to empathize with others. Not only does this doom a person to loneliness, it also does not allow him to fully realize himself in social life.
The same goes for a person with a sound vector. Endowed with powerful abstract intelligence, he asks questions about the meaning of life, about the mysteries of the emergence of the world, the formation of civilizations, the development of life on earth and about the ultimate goal of the existence of all life on Earth. He alone asks such questions, the carriers of other vectors do not. Therefore, from the very birth, he is especially acutely aware of his loneliness. It seems to him that it is difficult to find the same person who would think and feel the same way as himself. And therefore, often a person with a sound vector closes in himself and looks for answers to his questions in proud solitude, detached from everything earthly.
The potential of sound specialists is unusually high. They are the discoverers of everything new, they are scientists making breakthroughs in all spheres of knowledge, they are the creators of all sorts of ideas, theories and concepts, and they are ready to defend their ideas even at the cost of their own lives, like Giordano Bruno. However, they make all these breakthroughs exactly when they realize their potential. And one way or another, their discoveries are for the good of everyone.
But often the sound engineer is absorbed in his thoughts, which he does not take out in useful action. He is closed in himself, absorbed in an internal dialogue with incessant questions without answers. Where can I find these answers? The soundman does not know. He experiences an inner sensation of endless emptiness, an unhealed wound gaping in his heart. Not realizing himself in society, he nevertheless tends to put himself above others. And this false sense of superiority prevents him from communicating with others and enjoying life.
Thinking that he is smarter than everyone else, he cannot fully fit into society when it comes to teamwork. Assessing himself very highly, he does not realize (or does not fully realize) his abilities for the benefit of other people. And other people quite naturally dislike such a person - after all, he smells of arrogance and barely disguised hatred of others.
Both for the spectator and for the sound engineer there is one way out - to pay attention to others, to understand that only in interaction with others love, and purpose, and the meaning of life are revealed to us.
Let's cancel self-assessment
Both low and high self-esteem prevents us from realizing our aspirations and feeling comfortable around other people. And it turns out that not everyone has self-esteem. This is no coincidence. In fact, it is not how we evaluate ourselves that matters, but how other people evaluate us and how much we fit into society as a whole. The most important skill is the ability to live among people.
In fact, self-esteem is a false attitude of modern psychology. This category simply does not exist. It hides completely different, deep-seated mechanisms of our realization in couples and society. Our self-esteem is what arises in the tension between "I want" and "I don't get it." And here two points are important:
- Do I really want this?
- And why am I not getting it?
System-vector psychology helps to realize their innate desires, given by nature, and to cut off those desires that are brought in from the outside under the influence of the environment. Indeed, to achieve our own desires, we have all the possibilities, all the necessary data, all the prerequisites. And to achieve desires alien to us, they are not.
Moreover, in realizing desires that are contrary to our nature, we will always experience, instead of joy, dissatisfaction and disappointment with the result of our misdirected efforts. For example, people with anal-visual ligaments often want to please everyone and take on things that they themselves don't like or want. To be praised, mom or other significant person. This is how the complex of a good boy or the scenario of a good girl manifests itself, which lead people in adult life.
After the training, there is an awareness of their own inner desires, as well as an awareness of the reasons why it was not possible to realize them before. For example, we are talking about a scenario of failure in the skin vector. We begin to realize our fears, resentments, lack of vectors - all those conditions that prevented us from realizing our potential, the deep reasons for our behavior and the behavior of other people. And then we are no longer engaged in self-assessment, we are engaged in self-knowledge.
Re-programming selfishness
“I want and don't receive” is always the suffering of our ego. Our psyche is built on opposites. The more we can do for others, the more we are fixated on ourselves, the more we suffer from our own selfishness. And the greatest volume of egoism, the greatest egocentrism is characteristic of a person with a sound vector. That is why the sound engineer experiences the greatest suffering, this immense inner emptiness from unfulfilled desire, this painful feeling that life has no meaning. This feeling that you are capable of something more, you just do not know how to realize it.
In fact, everything is surprisingly simple. The only thing that needs to be done is to get rid of false attitudes, stop focusing on yourself. Stop doing self-esteem, but do self-knowledge.
As long as we sit and think about ourselves, we will not realize our potential. We rob ourselves and do not give ourselves the opportunity to realize our aspirations, desires inherent in us by nature. While we think about ourselves, other people realize our goals. So maybe it's time to stop thinking about yourself and start acting?
Start living instead of sitting in sticky, suffocating fear. To live instead of talking about the meaning of existence on Earth. To act instead of sitting back and feeling how life passes by, and time slips away like sand through your fingers.
You can start enjoying every day and realize your wildest plans for life. This is evidenced by the reviews of many people who have completed the training:
Already at free online lectures, you will feel incredible pleasure from getting to know yourself and other people, from understanding the causes and consequences of human actions. You will understand the roots of all fears and indecision and learn how to overcome these fears. You will stop being dependent on the opinions of others and understand how exactly you can realize your potential.
Register for a free online training on systemic vector psychology Yuri Burlana, allow yourself to start a new life!
