Introvert and extrovert, inward and outward. Is harmony possible?
We notice every day that we are all different. Each of us has an inner given that we cannot change, but we can tune it into a more pleasant wave of life among other people. It's like "given" in a geometry problem to be solved …
Only from time to time is the silence of the
cry of a stork flying down to the roof.
And if you knock on my door, I think I won't even hear.
(A. Akhmatova)
Twilight is the approach of your favorite time, when you can sit in silence and loneliness, listening to the night and your insides. Do not run anywhere, do not tolerate anyone.
She likes to be alone. For her, a pleasant company of a laptop and a book is better than the hustle and bustle of meaningless gatherings and "walks". Behind her eyes, and sometimes in her face, they call her strange, unsociable, closed. Let it go. She is indifferent to their opinion and most often does not want their company. It exists somehow separately.
She seemed to be accustomed to misunderstanding and bewilderment of those around her. But sometimes a vague, barely perceptible guess flashes: perhaps there is something in this, when other people understand you, when you can tell someone about your innermost things, think together with someone, when someone can appreciate your ideas, when your words resonate in someone.
I told them firmly that I was dumb!(O. Arefieva)
But most often she does not even share her ideas - she is silent. After all, with whom to talk, if everyone is interested in absolutely useless, in her opinion, things at the level of "buy-get-achieve"? Yielding to an impulse, she occasionally goes out for a walk with her friends. And what? A couple of comments, and she again falls out of communication. Conversations about dresses, manicure, fashion trends, guys, bosses do not fill her. Empty. It's empty with them.
Not empty except with yourself. Or a book. Or a blog. It is better to talk to Brodsky in the head than to the empty real people inside. She needs a meaning that she does not see in the material world. So why all this fuss? For what?
Since her school days, she felt that she did not fit into the general algorithm of life. As if her train had gone off the rails. All the girls started dating boys. And she spent the evenings with a book. She flew away to the book, lived as heroes, fell in love, cried, thought, analyzed, learned to understand people. It seemed to her that this was truer and certainly deeper and more interesting than ridiculous walks with classmates with beer and jokes that cut the ear. Music in headphones became a salvation from unnecessary noise and unpleasant conversations.
Such different "want"
But the cheerful voices of the company, laughing and playing the guitar on the first warm spring evenings, fly through the window both then and now. They all feel good together. The thought flashes: "I wish I could go there to them!" Immediately she parries herself: "What's the point?" Listen to their stupid talk, put up with the fake guitarist! Watching boys show off in front of girls, and they giggle mock. This is unbearable!
“And who needs me there with my thoughts flying into the clouds? Alice from Through the Looking Glass, who appeared in a fluffy dress at the courtyard party of slobs. On the one hand, she sometimes wants to throw off this ball gown of high ideas and beautiful feelings from her head. Just be happy with everyone. But young people and girls do not live at all the same thoughts as hers. On the other hand, these very thoughts and inner search are her most valuable and dear, thanks to them she feels herself. By herself.
Combine the incompatible?
In an attempt to understand her dissimilarity from others, she reads one psychological book after another. The chapters about introverts resonate in the heart, so aptly they describe the priority of what is happening inside of herself over everything else and everyone else outside. And indeed, her thoughts and states have always occupied her much more than what is happening outside.
But no matter how exceptional she feels, she sometimes wants someone to notice this oneness. After all, those rare moments when a person dear to her noted, singled out her, appreciated her, valued her, are remembered, no matter how annoying it may be, as the most valuable.
She wants to fine tune her remote interaction with others. I want happiness and human warmth. And others notice only giggling eccentric beauties - pure extroverts. She rushes from one pole of herself to the other. Her desires sometimes contradict each other and add misunderstanding: “What am I really? What do I want and how can I find the right path to myself and others?"
Given but not decided yet
We notice every day that we are all different. Each of us has an inner given that we cannot change, but we can tune it into a more pleasant wave of life among other people. This is "given" in the geometry problem to be solved. The System-Vector Psychology of Yuri Burlan will help you to understand your own internal geometry.
She explains our dissimilarity to each other by the presence of different vectors in people. A vector is a collection of properties and desires, questions and priorities, values and aspirations that are given to us from nature. Modern man usually has 3-5 vectors in his set. Their combination determines our intro- or extroversion, our behavior and thoughts.
To Cosmopolitan, and to whom Remarque
For example, dissimilarity, detachment from others is characteristic of special people with a sound vector. These are natural introverts, for whom the world within themselves is much more exciting than the world outside.
We, the owners of the sound vector, hear subtly and strive to comprehend the world, and most importantly, ourselves in it. Hence our interest both in the sciences of the world order (physics, astronomy) and in the sciences of the inner content of man (philosophy, literature, psychoanalysis).
And, of course, music. For us, she is a source of sensual pleasure through the ears, as well as a way to isolate ourselves from everything around. Therefore, quite often a person with a sound vector closes himself with headphones from the outside world into his "shell".
Our own consciousness is the most interesting area for us to think and research. Sitting alone at night and feeling our uniqueness, we become observers from the outside, and more and more ask ourselves the question: "Who is this I, who is separate from others?" Night is our time. At night in silence, you can focus on what we value most - our thoughts.
Since childhood, carriers of the sound vector cannot sleep at night. Such a child can be difficult to bed. He is not one of those children who rush around the apartment, not wanting to calm down. He hides under a blanket with a book and a flashlight in search of answers to his non-childish questions about the causes of everything that happens in the world. The child grows, and his questions grow, his lack of understanding grows, what he lacks and why.
Where are you looking?
Our world is built on contradictions. And since there is one pole, then there is the second. System-vector psychology of Yuri Burlan also distinguishes a visual vector with properties in many respects opposite to the sound one.
The owners of the visual vector are natural extroverts. Every emotion is reflected on their face. By making eye and heart contact, they create emotional bonds with people. They need feelings and, if they do not receive them in real life, they look for them in books and films, they can live the life of their favorite heroes of cinema and literature, empathizing with them and imbuing them with their fates.
The carriers of the visual vector cannot stand loneliness. These people are demonstrative, emotional - they will be happy to spend time in a large company, laugh, dance and exchange emotions with others. They love to observe the play of color and light, they appreciate beauty in everything.
The visual vector makes its owners the most open to the world. They are able to bare their soul to you. And they dream of getting this from you. They look at you, see the subtlest shades of your emotions and are ready to share theirs without a trace.
Different meanings of different people
Most people feel the meaning of their existence in the material plane of reality: someone in a career, someone in a family, someone in earthly love. At the level of sensations, they know what they live for, which brings them maximum pleasure.
For example, the bearer of the visual vector may call love the meaning of his life. Indeed, creating emotional bonds with other people can make him happy. And for this, there are many people around him.
It is much more difficult for the carrier of the sound vector to find the meaning of life. Often mistakenly looking for these meanings in himself, he finds amusing only what is happening in his own head. Starting from the feeling of his intellectual superiority, he completely concentrates on his internal states, and the outside world touches him little. So, the interests of peers may seem insignificant to the sound girl, unworthy of her attention. And her deep questions, which she sometimes speaks with a detached, as if looking inward, look do not find a response from others.
Contradictory wish pattern
Despite the cardinal opposite of properties, the visual and sound vectors also have something in common. These vectors give a person the direction for intellectual and spiritual searches; they are responsible for collecting and processing information received through the ears or eyes.
It happens that these opposites are combined in one person, weaving unique patterns of desires within him. He listens with ears, with eyes - peers, through sound generates an idea, through vision with his emotionality he can draw attention to it, listening - thinking, observing - feeling.
Sound-visual people are a treasure trove for society. They also have an abstract mind capable of deep knowledge and figurative thinking playing with different colors. These properties will coexist harmoniously in a person when their owner finds their application in social life. Writers, directors, publicists, psychoanalysts, musicians - this is only a small range of sound-visual realization.
Aloud do not be sad - neighbors are knocking on the wall!(O. Arefieva)
System-vector psychology of Yuri Burlan explains that vectors begin to "argue" within one person in the event that their properties are not realized. For example, when in one of the vectors (most often in the sound) there is a shortage, a lack of realization of innate desires, a bias occurs, the person begins to suffer.
Being in constant oppression from the inability to get to the bottom of the meaning of being, the bearer of the sound vector does not know how to cope with himself, what to catch on to in this life. For most people, his questions cause a desire to twist their temples. No, as normal people tell him, become simpler and enjoy the little things. Do not strive for the abyss of the universe, but simply live like others.
However, an attempt to impersonate other people, to suddenly become a pure visual extravert from a sound introvert will lead nowhere. You cannot change yourself, you can only understand yourself in order to understand what you really want and how to achieve it. The sound vector is dominant, so until his desires are fulfilled, everything else is secondary. So, in sound-visual people, from dissatisfaction with desires in the sound vector, visual aspirations to create an emotional connection are often left without the necessary implementation.
Filling sound desires is not an easy task, but today every owner of a sound vector can do it. With a closer acquaintance with his innate properties, a person begins to see where he can direct his abilities so that it brings pleasure to him and benefits others. In turn, the realization of the sound vector gives relief from depression and the opportunity for other vectors to express themselves.
Speaking about extraversion and introversion, it is necessary to mention not only the sound and visual vectors. System-vector psychology identifies four extrovert vectors and four introverted vectors. You can read more about this here.
You can learn more about how both extroverted and introverted properties can coexist in a person without contradictions and internal conflicts at the free online lectures on System-Vector Psychology by Yuri Burlan. Register by the link:
