How to bring passion back into a relationship with your husband
Tales of brave princes and beautiful princesses end with the same phrase: "And they lived happily ever after." It's a shame that fairy tales do not happen often in life. Where did the romance go and how to return passion to a relationship with your husband?
The hopes of lovers for a happy nest are by no means groundless. Tales of brave princes and beautiful princesses end with the same phrase: "And they lived happily ever after." It's a shame that fairy tales do not happen often in life. The taste of the first kiss, the feeling of butterflies in the stomach from his touch, the clink of glasses under the sincere wishes of the newlyweds and the anticipation of boundless happiness for a lifetime comes to mind. But in reality, you wash the dishes, making household plans for tomorrow, and your husband is drinking beer while watching a sports channel. Where did the romance go and how to return passion to a relationship with your husband? We will answer these questions with the help of the knowledge gained at the training "System-vector psychology" by Yuri Burlan.
How do we fall in love
Heading out to your girlfriend's birthday party, you prepped up, put on your best dress, and did your makeup and hair for an hour and a half. You came in a good mood, not only because the celebration requires fun, but also from the realization of your irresistibility. And so, in the crowd, quite by accident you notice Him. The guy in some strange way stands out from everyone: he looks personable and serious, he seems to breathe reliability and decency. You quietly ask your friend: "Who is this handsome man?" You are introduced, you flirt, and after five dates you can no longer tear yourself away from each other. "This is Love!" - you think, falling asleep on his shoulder after a stormy night.
What is really going on?
Men and women signal their sympathy to each other using pheromones. These small particles are captured by the vomeronasal organ and provide all the necessary information about their carrier. For example, if a man is ripe for creating a family, and a woman is ready to become a mother, then, if they find themselves in the same room, in nine cases out of ten they will start a relationship. Information is read on an unconscious level as: "you are an ideal couple", and consciously: "I like him / her."
Pheromones carry two types of "code": attraction and ranking. Men are attracted to the scent of passion, but women are more selective. First, it is important for a lady to make sure that this particular gentleman will be able to take care of her and future children, and only then does she attach importance to the strength of his libido.
Natural couples are created between opposite vectors, for example, a wife with an anal vector and a husband with a skin one. If the relationship is built rationally on the basis of common interests and values, but without a spark, then the spouses risk becoming only business partners or good comrades without passion and outburst of emotions. Such a bond does not bring the satisfaction that genuine lovers enjoy. But falling in love does not guarantee long-term happiness, because this is only the first stage.
Love lives for three years
To paraphrase the title of a well-known book, we will say this: love without effort lives for three years. There is a rational explanation for this. It has happened since time immemorial that the power of attraction pheromones acts on a partner for only two to three years. This is due to the fact that during the indicated period a woman can give birth and raise a child to a safe age. And a man under the spell of her libido will take care of his chosen one and their offspring.
By the end of the sounded period, the magic of pheromones dissipates - addiction arises, and spouses often become cohabitants who share life and fulfill their marital duty from the word "must", and not "lust". Romance ends, talk of life plans and dreams is reduced to a grocery list in the supermarket, and the bedroom turns into a sleeping place with rare mechanical sex.
Game of sympathy
Plunging into the routine of harsh everyday life, especially in the rhythm of a big city, we lose the importance of family ties. The traditions of joint dinners with stories about the day lived and its events are replaced by a quick snack on the go. After some time, we suddenly stop, look at our relationship and realize that we do not know the person with whom we live at all. During these weeks, months, and even years of communication only on everyday topics, we ourselves have changed and we see that the spouse has also become different.
Changes in the characters of life partners are associated with the fact that during the breeding season, when we want to please each other, we involuntarily put on the best masks. Men try to appear generous and caring, and women - economic beauties and impeccable mistresses. But over time, all our oddities and unpleasant features break free.
If people did not pretend to be the best version of themselves, then there would be no question of any procreation. Agree, who likes a workaholic, from whom you cannot draw out expressions of feelings, or a grumpy sofa-sitter? And to be honest, we women, too, exchange sexy negligees for comfortable pajamas with Mickey Mouse. As a result, everyone gets their share of disappointment.
What's in my vector
An equally important reason for the changes in your life partner after marriage is that during the candy-bouquet period, he was ready to do anything in order to please you. People do things that are unusual for them and agree to those things that they would never do under other circumstances. Yes, and you, probably, would have supported his venture to go camping with tents so as not to upset his beloved, because he talked so delightfully about the romanticism of an evening fire. I just didn't mention the absence of all the benefits of civilization and annoying mosquitoes. You have decided that you will endure this catastrophe once, but this is the first and last time. And he thought how lucky he was with his wife - she shares his passion.
Situations like this happen all the time. If a man relies on the anal vector, then for him the best rest is fishing, a hike, or home gatherings. He can do everything himself, including putting up a tent, kindling a fire and cooking fish soup in a cauldron, because he has golden hands by nature. And if, for example, she is a girl with a skin-visual ligament of vectors, who prefers comfort, communication and noisy parties, where she can shine and attract everyone's attention? These two have completely different ideas about leisure, which they will certainly learn about after the wedding and which will become a stumbling block on the path to happiness.
If they had completed the training of Yuri Burlan, they would have known who they were dealing with from the first minutes of communication, and would not have any illusions about each other. Our psyche manifests itself in words, gestures and even in appearance. It cannot be hidden, because this is who we are: our values, aspirations and abilities. Soon our couple will turn their life into quarrels and misunderstandings. He will grumble that her outfits are too revealing, and the dishes are not salted. In turn, she will reproach her husband that he is boring, does not know how to earn and pays little attention to her. He will begin to lead a sofa-bed lifestyle, and she will increasingly run to her friend.
The difference in outlook on life ceases to be an obstacle for those who are familiar with the basics of the psyche. Not understanding each other, reproaching and quarreling, we turn the house into a place where we do not want to return, where there is no comfort and warmth, there is no intimacy. And vice versa, revealing the potential of another person, we are able to make his values our own, realizing how important they are for our chosen one. And very soon our life partner will respond in kind.
Knowing what your husband is capable of, you will not demand the impossible from him, nor will he from you. By caring for each other at the level of deepest desires, we build a strong marriage. A woman who understands, supports and guides her man becomes a muse for him, for the sake of which he will happily turn into a handsome prince and get not only a star from the sky, but also build a palace.
The psyche of a man can be described with one short phrase: "I want a woman." If the spouse remains desirable for her husband, then he will certainly become successful if the woman expects this from him. And when household and financial difficulties go away, there are fewer reasons for quarrels and more for love.
Interpenetration
You must have met couples on your way, about whom you can safely say: "one soul for two." They are easy to recognize: they finish phrases one after another, understand each other without words and their love is so obvious that it is practically tangible. The secret ingredient in this relationship is a deep emotional connection.
Remember now how your feelings were born. You went on dates, shared experiences, and talked a lot. Your conversations revealed each other from a new, sometimes unexpected side, and these impressions aroused sexual desire.
This is how an emotional connection is created. But sometimes it doesn't develop into a deep one, but gets stuck at the buddy stage. A person who lives with us under the same roof is a bottomless world in which the stars of cherished desires sparkle, the elements rage as reactions to events, and the properties of his psyche flourish. For the gray days, we forget about it. We cease to see in the spouse his wonderful world and do not reveal ours to him. Our hearts slam under the onslaught of “I need”, and then attraction and spiritual closeness go away.
Fortunately, all this is easy to change and not just return passion to a relationship, but multiply it many times over.
Trust is everything
Care must be taken in creating a strong emotional connection. In this case, one should not rush so as not to shock and frighten the beloved with harsh revelations. It's also important to pick a moment when you both are willing to listen to each other in a trusting way. As a rule, it is the woman who sets the tone. Her sincerity about the innermost melts the ice of the Arctic in the heart of a man, and at some point he also shares what he would never have told anyone else. Thus, strong bonds are created between two people, inviolable either under the onslaught of everyday life, or under the blows of fate.
These revelations may relate to your childhood experiences, events that left strong shocks in your heart, sexual fantasies, etc. When you share your secret with your partner, you let him into your world and your personal secret becomes common. This is a new level of trust that is not available to anyone outside.
Happiness loves silence
Another important rule of lasting family ties is not to share your family life experiences with others. Women often discuss their suspicions and concerns about their spouse with their mother or close friend. But this only alienates the spouses from each other. By telling the other person about the events in your family and your attitude towards them, you release the degree of tension, are filled with friendly support and return to your husband emotionally devastated. In other words, you seem to steal from your loved one the emotional charge that he has become.
Therefore, you should not waste the enormous potential of spiritual intimacy on short-term stress relief in conversations with other people about what concerns only two. A deep emotional connection is the highest degree of trust. For a woman, she plays one of the key roles sexually, as she provides a feeling of security and safety. Trusting her husband as herself, she can completely relax during lovemaking and thereby bring her orgasm closer - to reveal her sexuality as much as possible.
In an attempt to return the extinct passion, women use different tricks: they buy expensive underwear, change their hairstyle, write cute notes or playful SMS to their beloved, even go to their mother for a week to give their husband time to get bored. Such advice is countless. Only they work rarely and for a short time. There is only one way to bring passion back into your relationship with your husband: to understand him on the mental level and create a deep emotional connection. The training "System-vector psychology" by Yuri Burlan is a step towards making your happy family life happen.
