Tantrums in a child at 2 years old - where to run: to a psychologist or from home?
The child cannot control his desires, he is too small for this. His desires pop up without warning, without asking the opinion of adults. And the parents simply do not know what unconscious desires are driving their child, and ascribe to the child such thoughts that simply cannot even be in the child's head.
“Help, I don’t know what to do anymore. Tantrums in a child at 2 years old! I feel completely helpless. The child can throw tantrums out of the blue for any reason. Reasonable reasoning doesn't help. He is already 3 years old, what will happen next? I’ll probably just go crazy. How to deal with this problem? Help.
Indeed, such behavior of the baby exhausts the parents, sometimes leading to headaches and despair. We read the advice of Komarovsky and others, listened to grandmothers and acquaintances, and the child's tantrums continue at 2 and 3 years. To understand why your child is constantly throwing tantrums, while the other is calm and unperturbed, and to figure out what to do with this, let's look into the depths of the unconscious with the help of Yuri Burlan's System-Vector Psychology. There we will find answers to questions about the causes of hysterics in a child.
Tantrums? Or maybe the child declares his desires?
First of all, let's pay attention to age. The period starting at 2 years old is a turning point in the development of any baby. No wonder in psychology it is called a crisis of 3 years. At this age, the child for the first time begins to be aware of himself and try his innate properties. And this is the time when parents are wondering - what to do with a 2-year-old child when he is hysterical?
How does he taste his properties? As the system-vector psychology of Yuri Burlan shows, the child very loudly declares his innate desires. These desires are very different from each other and are called vectors. Depending on the innate vectors of the child, these can be motives such as running and jumping, or, conversely, sitting quietly in a corner, doing something calmly.
Such different desires are not always understood by parents. It seems to adults that their baby should be equally obedient, agile, happy and laughing, like other children at 3 years old, and are surprised when the child behaves differently or proves his right to be himself with the help of hysteria. When a child begins to hysteria for any reason from the age of 2 - by the age of three, the parents' patience is running out.
Hysteria - what kind of animal is that? Understanding the concepts
The buzzword hysteria is now called everything - even vanity and haste. Parents try to look for help, read the advice of psychologists, it seems to them that what they call hysteria should not be normal for a child at 3 years old. You can often hear on the playground - "What kind of tantrum have you arranged?" Although in fact the baby simply resists the fact that his mother hurries him or, conversely, restrains his too nimble behavior.
The child cannot control his desires, he is too small for this. His desires pop up without warning, without asking the opinion of adults. And the parents simply do not know what unconscious desires are driving their child, and ascribe to the child such thoughts that simply cannot even be in the child's head.
The essence of a child is to get pleasure. When he does not receive it, he suffers and expresses this in various forms, as it seems to the parents, inappropriate behavior. In fact, his behavior is natural. It's just that the parents don't understand the kid. And in the case of hysterics at 2 years old or at 3 years old, a paradox arises. Parents do not understand their child and blame the baby for this. Instead of trying to get to know the child better, they panic - he is only 2 or 3 years old, and already tantrums! Looking for how to deal with this behavior …
Tantrums of the most emotional child
Unreasonable, seemingly out of the blue, rolling tantrums is a feature of a baby with a visual vector. Such a child from 2 or 3 years old can become a test for parents who do not understand the nature of his tantrums.
According to the system-vector psychology of Yuri Burlan, the real reason for hysteria in such a child is fear in the visual vector.
The visual vector endows the child with heightened emotionality, tremendous imagination and imaginative thinking. Such children often revive toys and sincerely cry because they feel sorry for a flower or an insect. Such a baby is often frightened and from fear can go into hysterics, choking on tears.
And when such a child loses his beloved teddy bear, then from the rupture of emotional ties with this toy, he really starts a real hysteria. The child has genuine grief, because he revived his toy friend - the loss of a toy for him is like the death of a loved one.
It should be borne in mind that hysterics in a 2-year-old child is different from hysteria in a 3-year-old child.
If you do not take action in time, it will be even more difficult further, because a certain stereotype of behavior is being developed, and the baby will simply feel the pleasure of relieving stress by such behavior. Thus, hysteria in a child 3 years of age and older often takes the form of manipulation or blackmail of parents.
At the same time, nature is wise and, having created our desires, provided us with a means of controlling them.
You can get rid of hysterics! Practical advice
You can shovel a lot of advice from psychologists about tantrums in children 2 or 3 years old. Contact Komarovsky and others. However, without knowledge of the features of the visual vector, it is impossible to understand the causes of hysterics in children.
How can you help your child cope with these conditions? What should a mother do so that a child from 2 years old does not have tantrums?
Here are some simple, practical tips from vector systems psychology:
- First of all, it is necessary to saturate the child's life with emotional experiences, and the emphasis should be on empathy and complicity, even if at first it will be even a teddy bear.
- With such a child, it is advisable to support playing the theater, doctor. In these games, the child revives and acts out a variety of emotions and experiences for the toy characters. Thus, you will teach him to play various feelings: joy, regret, resentment, anger, pity and compassion. And it's okay that a toy penguin or brontosaurus experiences these feelings along with the toddler.
- Follow the repertoire of cartoons that the kid is watching. All cartoons must first of all go through your censorship. All kinds of horror stories, battles of monsters or other variants of "mochilov", which are increasingly appearing in children's cartoons, are unacceptable. The enormous imagination of the kid with a visual vector quickly draws him into the plot, but at the same time all these horror stories activate inborn fears in him. If you constantly watch such stories, then the child will surely have tantrums, and at night he may have terrible dreams. And the reason is obvious. So we recommend that you remove such films and toys from the repertoire.
- It also happens that the mother does not have such a high emotionality as her baby, and then the child experiences emotional hunger. What to do with these emotional troglodytes? Read fairy tales to them with expression - so that the child experiences the feelings of the heroes, tell stories, take them to shows and children's plays. This is the best thing to do for your child if he is hysterical for any reason and no reason. It doesn't matter if he is 2 years old or 3.
Thus, the child is not isolated only on himself. He gives free rein to his imagination, fantasy, plays imaginary situations with toys, then with insects and animals, then with other children and adults. When the baby is shown a way out for the development of his innate fantasy and emotionality, it no longer makes sense for him to throw tantrums. And even if this happens, it is not difficult for mom to turn everything into a game and transfer the baby's attention from herself to other objects, toys or people.
Tantrums in a child - do prohibitions and punishments help?
Any child takes a hard prohibition, failure to fulfill their desires. Therefore, it is better for parents, even with children of 2 years old, to say this: "This cannot be done, because …" That is, it is imperative to explain the reason and show the effect. If you just shout at him: “No! You can't! " - it is always stress, which will be manifested by hysterics in the child, that is, he will with all the forces of his child's soul resist the fact that his desire is not fulfilled.
On the other hand, one should not go to the other extreme - to fulfill all the child's desires, then we will receive manipulations from the baby's side - hysterics in order to get what we want.
It is enough to understand the child, and his tantrums disappear without a trace
So, children differ from each other in their innate desires. And when these desires are not fulfilled for some reason, the child signals this to the adults. This reaction is different in each vector.
When a slow 2-year-old baby says “I myself,” and the mother is in a hurry or thinks that she will do better, the baby resists and then the mother gets hysterical. But she will say that the child was hysterical.
The same is in other vectors: outwardly, the child reacts to something by crying, roaring, stubbornness, disobedience, but this is not hysteria. It is a natural resistance to being forced to do something to which he has no natural inclination. It turns out that you need to think not about how to deal with tantrums, but about how to understand the properties of your child, so that by the age of 2 he will consciously develop and educate him.
Mom is the main word in children's destiny
One of the most important discoveries of Yuri Burlan's system-vector psychology is that a child is very closely psychologically connected with his mother, who gives him a sense of security and safety.
The inner state of the mother is very important for the condition of the children. We still cannot appeal to the consciousness of children, explain something. Children react unconsciously - some with hysteria, others with stubbornness or disobedience. If a mother is focused on herself when she herself is not well, she simply cannot give a sense of security to the child. He senses this and, of course, will not react to direct instructions “calm down”. Let's get hysterical. After all, this is a natural child's reaction to this at such an early age, at 2 years old.
Hugs, a calm, quiet voice and a balanced state of mommy are the best medicine for hysterics.
As soon as the interaction takes place according to the vectors, the child changes before our eyes. Tantrums go away because there is simply no ground for them. System-vector psychology of Yuri Burlan is a practical knowledge, it allows you to solve problems in relationships with children very quickly. Here are numerous reviews of parents who have forgotten forever what a child's hysteria is:
You can find out the secrets of unconscious children's desires, which means that you can help your dearest little person get rid of hysterics at the free online lectures of Yuri Burlan.
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