Live in perfect harmony. Dreams and reality
When we enter into a relationship, we only want to enjoy. But suddenly something goes wrong. The ideal half does not understand us, great love does not save us from everyday conflicts and mutual claims.
The thought creeps in that this is not who I need … this is not love …
About halves and love illusions
What do we dream about when we think about relationships?
That somewhere there is a person who meets all our ideas about the soul mate. You just need to find it, and everything will be formed by itself.
The ideal partner will love me the way I would like. He will understand me without words, just feel. Read my thoughts, finish the phrases I started. Guess desires and know me as myself.
To do this, you need to meet the real halves and create a strong and durable union, where he and she turn into a single whole. So we imagine what it means to live in perfect harmony.
Another dream is that love can fix everything. Any flaws in a person do not matter if the feelings are real. Everything can be forgiven if you love. Love will save the world, won't it?
It seems to us that you can close your eyes to all everyday trifles, oddities and weaknesses, bad habits, whims when you love a person. All of this is so insignificant compared to the great feeling. How can you talk about such nonsense as socks or dirty dishes when people love each other?
When we enter into a relationship, we only want to enjoy. But suddenly something goes wrong. The ideal half does not understand us, great love does not save us from everyday conflicts and mutual claims.
The thought creeps in that this is not who I need … this is not love …
We expect one thing from a relationship, we get another. We begin to blame our partner for everything. And one could say: "Well, nothing, everything will work out with the new one." But changing the partner does not solve the problem, everything repeats according to the same scenario.
After going through several ideal partners and tired of this eternal search, you risk agreeing to a relationship with a person who does not suit you.
Isn't this option for you? Then we try to dig deeper with the help of System-Vector Psychology.
Natural couple, or how we find each other
System-vector psychology explains that we choose each other subconsciously at the level of attraction. We call this state of love, passion, infatuation. But in fact it is a sexual desire.
It can keep us together for a short time - up to three years. Gradually, it weakens, and many couples break up, although they could live a long and happy life together. If they understood the psychological mechanisms of interaction in a couple.
Opposites are attracted to a couple - people with different vectors, and therefore with different psychological properties.
A man with a skin vector, a hunter and a hunter, feels more comfortable next to a faithful and honest woman with an anal vector, for whom family and home are priorities, which means that next to her his trophies will be safe.
She admires the ability of a skin man to provide for a family, quick reaction, flexibility and adaptability, the ability to control herself and others.
They form a natural couple, complementing each other, forming together a single whole - a family.
However, this internal dissimilarity of the psychological properties of partners can lead to misunderstanding, conflicts and destruction of relationships.
For example, late arrival of the husband causes a storm of indignation in the wife. She concludes that he does not appreciate her, does not notice what a good housewife she is: she comes after midnight and falls asleep, having a snack on the way to the cafe. For whom did she clean up and cook dinner all day? He would give her at least a minute of his precious time! At the same time, he sincerely does not understand what she is offended, he brings money into the house, provides for the family.
And each of them is right in his own way - after all, their unconscious desires live by them, on the basis of which their worldviews are formed. A strong relationship requires going beyond your I. Where there are two, there are WE.
How can this be achieved?
In fact, attraction is the spark from which a flame can ignite. Capable! But not guaranteed, not guaranteed. This is a chance. Starting point. Then everything is in our hands.
If we look at life differently, but love each other equally strongly, our relationship has a great future. Our opportunities are wider, our potential is higher, because together we are stronger!
Attraction as a natural force brings us together, attracts to each other, but a long-term connection requires the development of relationships. Today the grandmother's approach “endure - fall in love” no longer works. If they were ready to put up with fate and step over themselves in order to preserve the relationship, then the present person is less and less willing to do this. His desires have grown and require their fulfillment. And if we cannot find this fulfillment in a pair, the level of egoism will not allow us to “tolerate” a partner.
The key to a long-term pairing relationship is a special emotional bond between partners that holds us together and helps us to overcome difficulties.
The creation of such a connection is in the hands of a woman and takes time and some effort from both partners. A subtle feeling of the emotional state of a loved one, the ability to give a sensual response and share with a loved one his joys and sorrows, support and inspire, deeply imbued with his problems. Feel an acute desire to help in your heart. This is love. Real, sacrificial, sincere, giving, therefore limitless.
Emotional connection is based on attraction. We start to share our emotions with each other. Gradually, an element of trust is formed in the relationship. I trust my partner so much that I reveal my feelings to him, bare my heart, let me into my very soul.
When it is mutual, it is an emotional connection.
What happens then? For me, my partner becomes more than an object of attraction, although this is also, because more always includes less.
It's just that sexual desire now flows from a higher level connection.
In the beginning, there is always only one "want" and such a relationship lasts an average of three years. With the formation of an emotional connection, it turns into "I love, therefore I want." But such a relationship is enough for a lifetime.
But there is an even higher level!
I want … I love … I turn on …
If an emotional connection as a guarantee of a long-term relationship is ours today, then a spiritual union is our tomorrow.
Soul kinship is when there is a feeling in a relationship that you understand your beloved and he understands you even without words. Your inner worlds are so close that they gradually merge into one common one.
In a spiritual union there is a feeling that you are fully understood, accepted for who you are. It's calm with you, no need to make excuses, play a role, you can take off the mask and not be afraid to hurt your soul.
A relationship of this level implies the full inclusion of a partner in oneself.
What does it mean?
Understanding the essence of a loved one, his I, the unity of two souls. Life in one breath, on a common wave, when you feel his desires as your own, you understand his thoughts as your own, ending the phrase he started.
The volume of such relationships is much greater than anything that was previously in a couple. Sexual attraction, emotional connection do not go anywhere, they are included in something more.
We are constantly on the rise. Attraction, emotional connection, spiritual union … To build such a relationship helps system thinking, understanding the human psyche.
We want to love and be loved, but sometimes we prefer to dream instead of investing in relationships and giving them the opportunity to develop.
You can reveal your partner to such a depth that reality can be much better than any dream of a merger of souls.
Your happiness is in your hands. Register for upcoming introductory online lectures on system vector psychology and find out what it means to live in perfect harmony.
