A. S. Pushkin. Natalie: “My fate is decided. I am getting married". Part 8
M-lle NN, the mysterious, fatal and beautiful wife of Pushkin. Who is she? What role did Natalya Nikolaevna Goncharova play in the life of the poet? Let's see from the inside of the mental.
Part 1 - Part 2 - Part 3 - Part 4 - Part 5 - Part 6 - Part 7
In letters to friends, A. S. Pushkin explains his intention to marry as if he is trying to convince himself: “Everything that you could tell me in favor of single life and against marriage, everything has already been changed by me,” writes N. Pushkin. I. Krivtsov. “I have weighed in cold blood the benefits and disadvantages of the state I am choosing. My youth was noisy and fruitless. Until now I have lived differently from how people usually live. I was not happy … At thirty, people usually get married - I act like people and, probably, I will not regret it. Besides, I will marry without rapture, without childish charm. The future appears to me not in roses, but in its strict nakedness …"
A. S. makes marriage proposals consistently to Sofia Pushkina, Anna Olenina, Ekaterina Ushakova, Natalia Goncharova. Everywhere there was a refusal, Goncharova's mother did not answer yes or no. Parents make the decision about marriage. A politically unreliable, poor poet is a very dubious groom.
There were always many women around Pushkin, beautiful, intelligent, educated, brilliant. The urethral leader rarely met serious resistance to his passion. Whether a gypsy, a Kalmyk, a high-society arrogant beauty or a peasant red maiden - Pushkin generously gave himself up for shortages. Sometimes, as on the way to Arzrum in a Kalmyk wagon, it happened to be hit on the head with a balalaika, but, as a rule, relations arose by mutual agreement.
Less than a year before his marriage, Pushkin wrote: “I am more than anything in the world afraid of decent women and lofty feelings. Long live the grisettes, this is both shorter and much more convenient! " Urethral libido, aimed at giving ejaculate to any woman capable of giving birth, gravitates towards the skin-visual rank, not intended by nature for procreation. This is the law of the mental unconscious, which is unmistakable, but a person can be wrong, sometimes he is even "glad to be deceived."
"The purest charm, the purest sample"
Moscow is traditionally a brides' fair. Here in the winter of 1829, at a ball in the Kologrivovs' house on Tverskoy Boulevard, A. S. Pushkin first saw N. N. Goncharova. She is 16, he is 30; she is a tall, stately beauty, he is ugly and short; she is an unknown debutante, he is the first poet in Russia. Pushkin is completely fascinated by the beauty of Natalie, as his friends joked, "fired". On April 6, 1830, he made an offer to the N. N. family, which was accepted. More than a year of persistent wedding arrangement - and now "Kars is taken", Natalya Nikolaevna becomes Pushkina. To whom did AS Pushkin sacrifice "carefree whimsical independence, luxurious habits, wanderings without a goal, solitude and inconstancy", that is, all that was the essence of the urethral-sound unmixed unity of his personality? Let's try to understand who Natalia Goncharova was from within the mental.
Childhood Natasha (Tasha) Goncharova in the estate of her adoring grandfather was cloudless. The beautiful baby was pampered and dressed up like a doll, she had at her disposal a whole park on the banks of the river, where she rode a pony. The girl was taught to read and write, count, and French. Paradise ended when the mother took her daughter to her home in Moscow to receive the traditional home education at that time. The best teachers were invited, but Natalya Nikolaevna did not feel not only happiness, but also a basic sense of security in her parents' house.
"In the strictest monastery, novices were not kept in such blind submission as the Goncharov sisters" (V. Veresaev)
The domineering and extravagant mother raised her children in blind obedience and fear of God, often "slapped on the cheeks", severely punished for the slightest offense: they had to kneel in a dark corner of a special prayer room. Even when she was ill, Natasha did not hear words of encouragement from her mother, only suggestions that illness was God's punishment for sins. The lack of maternal love was painful, fear became Tasha's faithful companion, and the fulfillment of other people's desires was the usual payment for peace.
The surviving student notebooks indicate that the girl studied well, even wrote poetry. Natalya Goncharova was a skillful needlewoman, a wonderful dancer, she kept herself superbly in the saddle. The constant terror on the part of the mother formed a special kind of obedience in little Tasha - one mixed with the fear of attracting her attention and causing her anger. The fear of her mother was so great that when Pushkin wooed her, the girl did not dare to go out to the groom without permission, while the future mother-in-law herself imposingly accepted A. S. in bed. In the first year of marriage, her mother forced Natalya to write to Pushkin in sharp letters and that he would observe the fasts and pray to God. AS soon stopped these nonsense.
Owning two thousand serfs, N. I. constantly needed money. It happened that the daughters did not have a pair of tolerable shoes. Greedy, fanatically religious, despotic, not tolerating any objections, Natalya Ivanovna was somehow pacified only by Pushkin, whom she fell in love with in her own way. Natalya Nikolaevna's father, a weak-willed person, and in his mature years and mentally ill, drank hard and became a violent, because he was evicted by his wife in the outbuilding and did not take part in the life of the family.
In such a tough atmosphere, the children of the Goncharovs rallied strongly. Natalya Nikolaevna loved her sisters Ekaterina and Alexandra. Already in marriage, at the first opportunity, she organized their move to St. Petersburg in order to save them from their completely degraded mother. Contrary to the objections of A. S. Natalya Nikolaevna settled the girls at her place, apparently, the lack of emotional visual connection established with the older sisters from childhood was so strong. She wanted to arrange their fate, because while they had to drag out a joyless existence next to their mother, she herself almost daily attended social events. Even a permanent pregnancy did not prevent N. N. from shining at balls and being an invariable adornment of high society.
The "belly" (Pushkin's word) did not in any way reflect on the amazing harmony of his "wife". When during one of the balls N. N. had a miscarriage, Pushkin summed up briefly: she jumped. Barely regaining consciousness, Natalie danced again. Thanks to her marriage, the doors to the world of the upper world suddenly opened before young Pushkina, and she seemed to be taking revenge for the lack of her former wretched life under her mother's yoke. The Light accepted the new Psyche with open arms. The general delight could not but flatter the young beauty.
“She looked reserved to coldness and spoke little at all” (V. A. Sollogub)
From childhood, Tasha learned to restrain her emotions, and she trusted her feelings only to those closest to her or to anyone. It is clear that to the people who knew her little, Goncharova seemed like a cold and soulless beauty, who had "a little intelligence and even, it seems, little imagination." Letters from Goncharova to Pushkin survived at most two or three: about children, about the economy, not a word about myself. In the memoirs of contemporaries, we find only descriptions of the captivating appearance of Pushkin's wife: “a hum of admiration swept through the living room,” “the poetic beauty of Mrs. Pushkina penetrates to the very heart,” “she combined the completeness of classically correct features and stature, tall with a fabulously thin waist luxuriously developed shoulders and chest, her small head, like a lily on a stem, swayed and gracefully turned on a thin neck.
The skin-visual ligament of the leader's rank muse attracted enthusiastic glances to her from everyone, from thirteen-year-old Petenka Buturlin to Emperor Nicholas. Sighing in Pushkina has become a fashion even among those who have never seen her! Partly here, of course, the magic of the name of the first poet played a role, and at the level of the unconscious, the fact that she was elected as the urethral leader. Pushkin's love for his wife was boundless.
Pushkin admired his wife's ability to behave, "everything in her was what is called comme il faut." The poet's former friends were different. It is no coincidence that Natalie received the nickname Kars from the groom - after the name of the impregnable Turkish fortress, which Pushkin certainly had to take - (despite the "mama Kars", through whose efforts the wedding more than once hung in the balance). The roots of this comme il faut lay in the prohibitions of the bigot-mother on an extra word, gesture, look. The basis of education was "a thorough study of dance and knowledge of the French language." This was considered enough for a successful marriage.
Countess Finkelmon alone was struck by the "suffering expression of the forehead" of young Pushkin. "Pushkin shows all the outbursts of passions, his wife has all the melancholy of self-denial." That, perhaps, is all that at least somehow hints at the inner life of the first beauty, a skin-visual girl in fear, married to an urethral sound engineer, who talked on equal terms with the tsar and the courtiers, spat on the service, a battle lover and women - a poet Alexander Pushkin.
"I was drunk at Pushkin's bachelorette party, I told you about that, but you were so drunk that you hardly remember it" (Denis Davydov - N. M. Yazykov)
Family life with Pushkin was not paradise for Natalya Nikolaevna. The wedding did not change the basic desires of the urethral poet. For the wedding, Pushkin appeared rather tipsy after the bachelor party (in fact, the "bachelorette party"), which lasted all night. The Gospel that fell during the wedding, the extinguished candle and the crown that almost fell on the poet's head have, in addition to the widespread esoteric (all bad signs!), Quite prosaic meaning.
The next morning after the wedding, the newlywed went to his friends again, where he stayed until dinner. In an unfamiliar house, the young wife sobbed bitterly among strangers. AS could easily "gone for a walk, return home on the third day." If we add here the constant need for funds, the nasty servants and the inexperience of young Natalya Nikolaevna in self-managing the household, then the picture will not turn out very happy. To NN's credit, it must be said that she tried very hard to meet the new challenges of the landscape and she succeeded a lot. For example, NN was much more successful than her husband in negotiating his fees, she could insist on a higher price, it was much more difficult for the booksellers to deal with it than with the disorderly Pushkin devoid of a skin vector. NN negotiated the supply of paper for the Sovremennik magazine, helped her husband keep extracts from the archive.
A beautiful woman always has not only admirers, but also spiteful critics. Especially when she is successful and elected. NN also did not escape this fate. Why did they not write about her! And sly eyes, like a grisette's, and awkward, and no taste, and "Muscovy is reflected on her quite noticeably." It is known that by dirtying others, people talk about their lacks.
And yet Pushkin is married and happy! “My only desire is that nothing in my life has changed: I can't wait for anything better,” the poet writes to PA Pletnev on February 24, 1831 from Moscow. A. S. surrounds his wife with luxury, which is hardly within his means. But does the urethral leader count? The carriage "the richest, with four", a house on the Arbat, a dacha in Tsarskoe Selo. Natalya Nikolaevna dressed with sophistication and chic. To make a dowry for the bride, Pushkin mortgaged his father's estate.
The wife of the leader, by the fact of his being chosen by him, is already a queen, even if in the mental unconscious the couple does not exactly fall into the matrix "the urethral leader and his skin-visual darling." In life, ideal textbook relationship schemes are complicated by additional vectors. At times, the sound and visual vectors are fundamentally knocking down the urethral settings. It is in these inconsistencies, discrepancies that the drama of a unique life scenario develops.
"I had to marry you, because all my life I would be unhappy without you"
If we recall the poet's state on the eve of marriage, it becomes clear that the choice of his wife was made by A. S. consciously, that is, by reason. Pushkin did not marry in urethral passion, but in the sound blackout of libido as such. Subsequently, having entered the urethral phase, he, as it should be, gave to his wife due to shortages. NN received everything that she was painfully lacking in her parental home, plus bonuses: love and protection of an elder, universal admiration, unprecedented wealth, freedom, the ability to effectively help her family.
Mercy shone through in every step of A. S. towards his wife: from the first meeting to the very death of the poet. Pushkin idolized his Madonna and was sure that "the wife is not charming in appearance." No one knew N. N. closer than her husband. Only he confided in her feelings. Therefore, and also because Pushkin possessed a fantastic knowledge of human nature, it is safe to say that Natalya Nikolaevna was an amazing person.
In the first year of her marriage, she turned from a devout girl beaten into fear into a luxurious society lady and a tender mother. Of course, without the urethral natural return of the husband, this would be impossible, but after all, you need to be able to take any return! Natalie knew how to take. Pushkin was happy, giving:
No, I do not value rebellious pleasure, Sensual delight, madness, frenzy, Wailing, screams of a young bacchante, When, twisting like a snake in my arms, A
rush of passionate caresses and an ulcer of kissing
She hurries up the moment of the last shudders!
Oh, how sweeter you are, my humble girl!
Oh, how painfully happy I am with you, When, bending over to long prayers, You surrender to me tenderly without intoxication, Shyly
cold, my delight
Barely respond, you do not heed anything
And then you revive more and more, more -
And finally share my flame involuntarily!
This poem contains an exhaustive picture of the relationship between Natalie and Pushkin, who before Goncharova had the darkness of "bacchantes" (112, according to the poet's humorous confession). To reveal a woman in earthly love, to give her the opportunity to share her delight - is this not the task of a man in a couple?
Pushkin did not value rebellious pleasure "for himself", preferring to be "painfully happy", enjoying his chosen one. Urethral passion - an expression of the four-dimensional natural bestowal - is able to fill any lack, especially in a given pair of nature with a skin-visual woman. Natalie loved her husband with all her heart and tried to match him. All that she could contribute to this marriage, she contributed. He was the first poet of Russia, she became the first beauty, the mother of A. S.'s children and his muse:
My wishes came true.
The Creator sent You to me, you, my Madonna, The
purest charm, the purest example.
Four children in six years of marriage between N. N. and Pushkin - God only knows how this skin-visual woman gave birth in the complete absence of obstetric aid in the modern sense. It was hard to give birth, but I didn't have to lie down. It is not accepted to ignore invitations to balls in Anichkovoye. Participation in the event held by the royal family was not only a holiday, but also the duty of nobles living in strict accordance with the table of ranks. And Natalya Nikolaevna herself liked high-society parties too much to miss them.
Pushkin sobbed during the first birth of his wife, and avoided subsequent ones on purpose. The process of childbirth for the urethral leader is not just uninteresting, it is not spelled out in the mental. In an ideal combination, the leader's skin-visual friend does not give birth. The visual vector of the poet suffered along with his beloved woman in labor, the sound vector ran away from the screams. A. S. deliberately returned home when, for sure, everything was over. For all his love for his wife and children, Pushkin behaved completely unimaginable, if you do not understand what really led him.
Preferring to stay away from childbirth and babies, with his children, and visiting and with strangers, A. S. always fiddled with pleasure. The urethral psychic does not divide children into friends and foes, all of them are a reflection of his aspirations for the future. Pushkin looked at the “young, unfamiliar tribe” with curiosity and joy, because in his psychic the poet was far in the future, both by his urethral nature and by the sound of the future.
To be continued…
Other parts:
Part 1. "The heart lives in the future"
Part 2. Childhood and Lyceum
Part 3. Petersburg: "Unrighteous Power Everywhere …"
Part 4. Southern link: "All pretty women have husbands here"
Part 5. Mikhailovskoe: "We have a gray sky, and the moon is like a turnip …"
Part 6. Providence and conduct: how the hare saved the poet for Russia
Part 7. Between Moscow and St. Petersburg: "Will I soon be thirty years old?"
Part 9. Kamer-junker: "I will not be a slave and a buffoon with the king of heaven"
Part 10. The last year: "There is no happiness in the world, but there is peace and will"
Part 11. Duel: "But the whisper, the laughter of fools …"
