From endless self-flagellation to inflated conceit. Part 1
The best specialists in their field, who know all the subtleties of craftsmanship in the smallest detail. They are real experts who, at a glance, are able to see and eliminate any mistake, any inaccuracy. And in relationships with other people, they are the most caring, most devoted comrades, the best husbands and wives. But they are sometimes tormented by painful contradictions. They can suffer from self-doubt, which sometimes takes on extremely painful forms.
Nowadays, we often hear about self-esteem. If you don't succeed, then you have low self-esteem. Or, on the contrary, you become too arrogant, which is why nothing comes of it. This means that both high and low self-esteem is equally bad, because it interferes with achieving results in life. This means that there must be a way to objectively assess your strength. There should be some middle line that runs in the fairway between high and low self-esteem. And here we are happy to give advice on how to act to others. But we lose all objectivity when it comes to ourselves.
System-vector psychology Yuri Burlan allows you to remove this contradiction once and for all. Consider the problem of high and low self-esteem through the prism of systems thinking.
You underestimate yourself
Usually, people with an anal-visual ligament of vectors suffer from incessant self-doubt. In potential, they are the best specialists in their field, who know all the subtleties of craftsmanship in the smallest detail. They are real experts who, at a glance, are able to see and eliminate any mistake, any inaccuracy. And in relationships with other people, they are the most caring, most devoted comrades, the best husbands and wives.
But they are sometimes tormented by painful contradictions. They can suffer from self-doubt, which sometimes takes on extremely painful forms. This lack of self-confidence is commonly referred to as low self-esteem.
The thing is that in the anal vector there is an innate fear - the fear of disgrace, the fear of making a mistake. It is he who pushes a person with an anal vector to development. Such a person is afraid of making a mistake, which means that from childhood he will try to learn better than anyone else, will sit over textbooks, study additional literature. And for this he has all the necessary properties - perseverance, phenomenal memory, scrupulous attention to detail.
All these properties are necessary to fulfill the natural task of a person with an anal vector - the error-free transfer of knowledge in time, teaching the next generations. At the same time, the visual vector endows a person with figurative intelligence and good visual memory. Therefore, people with an anal-visual ligament of vectors are usually very well-read, have a broad outlook, truly encyclopedic knowledge.
These are the best teachers, because in addition to impeccable knowledge of their subject, they can instill in pupils and students high moral guidelines. After all, developed people with a visual vector are carriers of culture. They give society the value of human life, show us an example of compassion and love for people.
Where does low self-esteem come from then?
When a person with an anal-visual ligament of vectors realizes himself in society according to his properties, thoughts of self-esteem do not occur to him. His innate fear of being wrong pushes him to be the best specialist, and imaginative visual intelligence finds application in solving everyday problems. The sensory component is a high emotional amplitude of the visual vector, its responsiveness, and the ability to empathize are also realized through the establishment of emotional connections with people, the desire to come to the aid of someone who needs it at any time, to help with advice or action.
There is a certain balance, inner balance: when a person is realized, he gets joy from his work and communication with others, confidence in his abilities, and this outweighs the fear of making a mistake. This fear acts only as a guideline. It flashes with a warning light at the slightest deviation from the course.
However, when a person with an anal-visual ligament of vectors does not realize his potential in society, then the fear of making a mistake can grow to incredible proportions, driving the person into a stupor and sitting him on the sofa. All the more so if from childhood he endured a feeling of his own imperfection. As a result, he may stop doing anything, because within himself he experiences a contradiction between the desire to be the best and the lack of confidence in his own abilities. He is afraid of not living up to his own expectations.
And even more, the anal-visual person is afraid of not living up to the expectations of other people. He can be very dependent on the opinions of others. Indeed, for the owner of the anal vector from childhood, reasonable praise from the mother is an incentive to development, and in adulthood, respect for others and recognition of his merits is a necessary component of inner comfort.
The visual vector further increases the internal tension. After all, the very first and most ancient emotion is fear. When a person with a visual vector does not realize his emotional component, the ability to empathy and empathy in communicating with other people, he is left alone with his fears.
Actually, there is only one fear in the visual vector - this is the fear of death. But remaining unconscious, he can take the form of any fear - spiders, dogs, planes, fear of communicating with others. And he can multiply the fear of making a mistake, which is characteristic of a person with an anal vector.
Such people may feel shy and uncomfortable with other people. They are afraid to appear awkward, accidentally prove themselves inappropriate. And all this is a manifestation of internal fears that sometimes prevent the anal-visual person from realizing their potential. His natural desires remain unfulfilled, and he accumulates dissatisfaction with the fact that he does not fulfill his purpose - that for which he came into this world.
The one who does nothing is not mistaken
We all make mistakes. But our realization is a source of great joy, great pleasure from life. One has only to start to realize oneself - and you will not be able to stop, this gingerbread is so sweet.
There is only one way to overcome your fears - by directing your attention not to yourself, but to other people. And when we stop thinking about ourselves and focus on the other person, we naturally succeed in doing exactly what needs to be done. And then communication with other people brings satisfaction.
We stop focusing on fears, including the fear of making a mistake, which means that we begin to relate to our own oversights, which inevitably happen to every person, with slight self-irony. And our fears become a natural mechanism that directs our realization in the right direction: by gaining experience, the anal-visual person becomes the best specialist and the best friend who can always listen and support other people.
Part 2
