How to change your personality - read and do
Thinking about what prevents us from living, we shift all the blame on character and are killed that we were not lucky, and we were not born like that. And then we pour from empty to empty, trying to remake someone we don't know into who we would like to be. And we make ourselves unhappy even more unhappy. The good news is that everything can be changed.
You smile like an idiot, but the irritation with piercing needles rushes from the inside - you can't hide your character with a smile, no matter how hard you try. How can you change your character without the annoyance of wasting time?
Character is nothing, the desire to live beautifully and happily is everything
As long as character makes others uncomfortable, we will always find a way to justify ourselves. But when the character prevents our plans and dreams from coming true, we have a problem. We can no longer live in the old way, but we have not yet learned the new way.
How to change your character for the better? And it doesn't matter what exactly is needed: whether to get rid of irritability, become more decisive, or, finally, show character and stop being soft - everyone has their own list. But ahead of us are vertical races, strength tests and real hell.
Can you change your character and remake yourself?
We try, we try to remake ourselves, we listen to the opinions of others. Some write out negative traits on paper, others involve willpower.
Control yourself and you will be happy. Unable to control? Imitate your idol! Do you know who to imitate? Count to 10! No, up to 100 is better! At worst, open up to the world and to you … Well, you know.
And everything seems to start to change. People aren't that annoying anymore. At work, they listened, smiled on the street, obsessive thoughts receded. Life is getting better … until the next stress. When the old rake turns out to be in a new place, and we get the same result, the character was never changed.
How to change your character for the better?
Why are we failing?
We are trying to change the inner with outer manipulation. We act at random: maybe it will help. We are ready to listen to others, but not to hear ourselves. We look at ourselves, but we only see the frames that we want to adjust to. We do not understand the reasons due to which the character deteriorates.
Character is not something concrete and unchanging. These are our habits to live in a certain way. And getting rid of old habits is like fighting windmills. Therefore, it will be more effective to focus on something else - on how to create new habits in yourself, how to grow a new character in yourself.
Can you change your character to the opposite?
Is it possible? Can, for example, a person who is naturally hot-tempered and accustomed to acting in the heat of the moment suddenly become patient?
How can such a person change his character? He lives as if he shoots at a target every day. There is status, money, ambitions - it means that I got into the top ten. Fussing, flickering, losing money and opportunities - that means, daub. The first is disciplined, organized, determined and loves to live according to plan. The second is its absolute opposite. But there is much more in common between them than it might seem at first glance.
Both have the same set of properties of the psyche, but these properties manifest themselves in different ways.
Secret one: character is not a sentence, but an indicator of your condition
In Yuri Burlan's System-Vector Psychology, such “shooters on the target of success” are called carriers of the skin vector. Skinner's psyche is like a match: it flashes quickly, quickly goes out. The new attracts, the old weighs. It's easy to start, but not fun to finish. Higher, faster, stronger - first! But this does not mean that the skinner can only get irritated if everything does not go according to plan or someone is slower than him.
The secret of his calmness is in how developed he is and how he realizes himself. The more developed and realized the skin is, the more organized and calm it is. If he does not know how to apply himself, he fusses and fidgets, he easily loses his temper and gets irritated.
In other words, character is an unpaved field for development, not a struggle with oneself. And this is the first little secret.
Secret number two: if you change your character, what exactly will you change?
The second secret is what drives us. What motives shape us and influence our character. So, an irritable skinner is driven out of himself by one thing, and the carrier of a muscle vector falls into a rage completely from another.
If the skinned man becomes irritated and angry when he is unable to control himself or others, then for the fury of a peace-loving muscle, it is enough to suddenly wake him up or not let him eat in a human way.
The person with the urethral vector reacts just as suddenly and uncontrollably, but for other reasons. If his natural rank of the leader is attacked, in anger he is more terrible than any skin and muscle combined.
How to change your character for the better? Act
Thinking about what prevents us from living, we shift all the blame on character and are killed that we were unlucky and we were not born that way. And then we pour from empty to empty, trying to remake someone we don't know into who we would like to be. And we make ourselves unhappy even more unhappy. The good news is that everything can be changed. To understand yourself, to see not negative traits, but strengths that will become a support for us.
Thousands of people have done it, so can you. Forget what prevents you from living. Register for free online lectures on systemic vector psychology by Yuri Burlan by following the link.