Anorexia. Losing weight can not die
In modern society, there is a widespread belief that no one marries fatties or their lives are not filled with happiness, as is the case with slender girls. And we learn the attitude that being slim is a guarantee of health and beauty …
Attractive slender and charming models look at us from TV screens, magazine covers, even from billboards: their eyes sparkle, their smile is full of joy and, most importantly, they have a slender body. "I would like this," - any girl dreams. Thus, from an early age, we are shown that a lean body is the key to happiness and success. In modern society, there is a widespread belief that no one marries fatties or their lives are not filled with happiness, as is the case with slender girls. And we learn the attitude that being slim is a guarantee of health and beauty.
Where does health care end and hell begin?
So another long, painful gray day has come, I don't feel like eating, or rather, you overcame hunger. This is not a new feeling for you, you have been struggling with hunger every day for a long time. At first, you still wanted to eat something tasty, but you held back: "you are strong."
Now even this feeling has disappeared, now I don't want anything, not even a crumb of black bread. You look at any food with disgust and even with an inner feeling of wild fear that this particular piece of chicken, potatoes, bread, etc. will make you put on ten kilograms, and you will become ugly and unattractive. Thus, you will lose everything that you have gained before: your slender figure, thin legs, slender waist and flat stomach.
Self-control! This is the key to your success, and only in this way you will achieve your goal and become attractive. You just have to be patient a little, a little more, and you will catch your "goldfish" by the tail. You look at other slim women and you envy them. You are seized with an irresistible envy: “How is this: they can, they can eat whatever they want and do not get fat ?! “If only I could do that!” I wish I could have everything I want and not get fat by a single gram!
But, for you this is a pipe dream, you have to control every gram of food eaten every day. Thus, soon your whole life turns into counting calories, looking for “healthy” and low-fat foods in the supermarket, etc. A spoonful of yogurt is already breakfast for you. And for dinner - nothing is allowed! And between this there is a long period of torment: "I can't eat anything!"
It all started out as a harmless diet
This could all have started as a harmless weight loss diet that the girls in class or a compassionate friend suggested to you. You just wanted to lose a couple of kilograms before the prom or before an important event, but now you are in the arms of this terrible fear of "getting fat" by at least one kilogram that haunts you every day. But not a step back, it is better to die, but not to give up - not to be fat. Never!
… Or a bad comment
Your mom, your peers or classmates could make an unfortunate joke or say that you have grown fat or a little "plump", that you need to "lose a little weight", etc.
Or your neighbor or work colleague might have noticed that "if there is so much, you can get fat." It doesn't matter how it started, but it is important how you reacted to it: you could laugh it off or pretend that you did not pay attention to the comment, but this burning doubt formed inside you “what if I'm really fat and ugly, what if everyone a piece of food that I have no control takes further away from my happiness. " And then it all begins, a slight fear for your figure appears, which eventually turns into a panic fear of gaining at least one extra gram.
Different vision of the world
Your loved ones and family begin to notice that you have begun to eat less, day after day you control your daily diet more and more: you cannot fatty, sweet, meat, soon you will reach a portion of one apple instead of lunch. You are not as cheerful and funny as you were before. You just don't have the strength. Previously, you attended an art club or went to a dance, and now you spend a lot of time in the gym, doing hard work in order to lose weight. You gave up drawing. Every day brings a new challenge for you, and you set yourself the goal of losing one more kilogram in a week or at least three hundred grams, and meanwhile, day after day, you fade.
The smile disappeared from your face, and in its place there were signs of fatigue and bruises under the eyes.
Mom or someone else from your family first tries to persuade you to eat something, but nothing comes of it. Then, threats are used - but even that does not help. And, in the end, pleas come: "After all, you are killing yourself, daughter", "look at yourself: one skin and bones." Don't you notice? AND YOU LOOK at yourself in the mirror and see a beautiful and attractive, and even successful beauty. Only now the prince on a white horse is delayed.
Afraid of getting fat? You are not alone
You begin to notice that you no longer have as much strength as it was before, even in order to climb to the fourth or fifth floor, you need to take a break. Sometimes you just pass out, that is, you don't feel like doing anything because of weakness. You are constantly in a sad mood, you no longer want to communicate with others so much, because they do not understand your pain - they are different.
And you search the Internet for your “diet” companions and come across the terrible word “anorexia”. You do not want to admit this to yourself, but inside yourself you understand that maybe, maybe … you are like them, people who refuse to eat and are ready to die for the idea of losing weight. You still hope or think that this will not happen to you, that you have everything under control and so you will hold out until the end of your days.
And then you realize that there is no turning back. The fear of getting fat will always haunt you. You start communicating with people like you. But this does not save you from fear, from panic attacks, from fear of the dark and other fears, and, in the end, from unwillingness to live so "fat and ugly."
As system-vector psychology explains it
Have you ever felt that no one loves you or pays attention to you? Did you look into the closet or under the bed before going to bed, was there someone scary hiding there, and then lay on the bed holding your breath, fearing that the very monster that was hiding there would suddenly attack you? "These are all childhood fears, and what do they have to do with anorexia?" - you ask.
System-vector psychology of Yuri Burlan says that the attitude is, in fact, direct: the fear that a terrible monster will attack and eat you is akin to the fear of getting fat, because at the root of both fears is the same emotion - the fear of death.
System-vector psychology explains that the nature of the human psyche is built of eight vectors (a vector is a certain set of innate mental properties). For example, people with a visual vector have a very rich imagination, they are very impressionable and therefore tend to "make an elephant out of a fly." They are the ones who are able to see "monsters" under the bed or in a pile of clothes on the opposite chair.
Spectators show love for the beautiful and therefore monitor their appearance, trying to always be beautiful and attractive. If such a person is told that he is fat, plump, etc. or even if he himself for some reason thinks about it, then as a result you will get a passionate desire to lose weight and the resulting fear of getting fat, since beauty in our world is associated with harmony.
In addition, people with a visual vector have the greatest emotional amplitude among other people. This emotional amplitude is given to them to interact with other people, in order to show compassion and empathy, to empathize with them.
It happens that instead of splashing these emotions out through sympathy or compassion, a person with a visual vector consumes these emotions “inwardly”, that is, empathizes with himself like “how unhappy I am, why no one loves me”, “no one pays attention to me” etc. In this case, as a result, all our emotionality, which did not release itself in a positive action, turns out to be hysterical, serves to attract attention to ourselves.
Have you noticed that people with anorexia are often surrounded by care and attention? Thus, in addition to the fear of getting fat, anorexia also has a side benefit, people close to you begin to care more about you and pay attention to you. Even if this is given to you at a high price, but still … We may not even be aware of this and deny it, saying that we want to be “left alone” and given us “to do with our body what we want”. But still, in this way, a person attracts attention, which he so lacks.
Self-control is the key to success
System-vector psychology of Yuri Burlan explains that in the modern world, most people have three or four vectors. So we add to the visual vector the presence of a skin vector, one of the properties of which is the ability to limit ourselves in everything (in food, in time, in space, in the amount of information that we give about ourselves, etc.), and we will get a person able to control his diet in the strictest way.
In addition, the very implementation of this property will bring us pleasure. Thus, every time we give up a piece of meat or cake that beckons us, we feel like winners, and we want to cut the number of calories we consume even more.
In addition, people with a skin vector are dynamic people, they love movement, they usually enjoy playing sports. This explains the desire of many anorexic patients to lose weight not only through diet, but also by burning "unnecessary calories" in the gym. But in a short time, these sports turns into an obsession to play sports anytime, anywhere: you will not see a person with anorexia in an elevator: if there is a staircase in the house, he will go up the stairs. Or instead of taking a bus, car or subway, he will walk that distance. There are many examples, but the essence is the same - the desire for constant movement and changes in the position of the body in space.
Also people with a skin vector tend to save money, they enjoy saving food, light, money, etc. Thus, by consuming less food, they receive indirect pleasure not only from losing weight, but also from the money saved on food. Besides, in order to save money, one must be able to count. Thus, compulsive counting of calories consumed every day is another manifestation of the cutaneous vector.
In general, people with a skin vector are people driven by success, it is very important for them to climb higher up the career ladder and achieve success (make more money, etc.). And since success for a woman in the modern world is often associated with a slender body, it is women with the presence of this vector that become victims of anorexia. Their desire to be slim and attractive in order to improve their social status pushes them to lose weight. To this is added the desire to be beautiful in the visual vector in the presence of the fear of being unloved, and anorexia is provided.
Listen to what Alina tells about her daughter, whom she helped to cope with anorexia thanks to the training of Yuri Burlan.
To better understand the causes of anorexia and to cope with your fear of getting fat, to stop being afraid that you will not be loved and paid attention, you need to master the skill of system-vector thinking. Already at free introductory online lectures, you will be able to realize and understand the reasons for some of your fears, understand what drives you, and figure out the reasons for your behavior. And not only!
System-vector psychology of Yuri Burlan allows us to figure out and understand how to build positive relationships with other people, how to get rid of depressive and other negative mental states, etc. It is a practical psychology that allows anyone to cope with their emotional and psychological problems.
You can register for free online trainings in Systemic Vector Psychology at the link.
