How to bring back the joy of life, or getting rid of the consequences of force feeding
Our psyche is a desire to receive, which begins with food. When a child is force-fed, the ability to receive is canceled. We are losing this basic skill - the ability to have fun …
- Eat, to whom I speak! Until you eat, you will not leave the table!
- Eat it, or I'll pour it out! What have I cooked in vain ?!
- Eat everything, do not choose! Ungrateful brute!
Many of us have had to go through the horrors of being force-fed. Parents and educators did their duty, acted as best they could, to the best of their ideas about good and bad, there are no complaints about them. The main thing is different - what mark does the experience of force feeding leave on the child's psyche, and how to get rid of it?
The pleasure principle
Our psyche is a desire to receive, which begins with food. When a child is force-fed, the ability to receive is canceled. We are losing this basic skill - the ability to have fun. Instead of the joy of receiving, we have rejection. And also - protest, furious or quiet, guilt, fear, loss of a sense of security … It depends on whether we were persuaded "in an amicable way" or threatened, whether guilt was pedaled or outright frightened. Such connections will arise in our country in connection with further “enjoyment”, which is no longer a pleasure for us by definition.
It remains for life - the inability to receive, the inability to live. Receiving is unpleasant, everything is exactly the opposite. What does it mean? It means - it is unpleasant to live! After all, life consists of receiving and giving, where the second is inextricably linked with the first.
We unconsciously reject receiving; it is not associated with joy for us. Where, then, can we get an incentive for action if joy cannot be experienced by definition? This experience is connected with the disgust of food stuffed into us, disgusting lumps of semolina and disgusting frozen foam of boiled milk. One thought about THAT food (read getting), its sight and smell causes a gag reflex. For some, this is a hated onion, for someone fat floating in the soup, for someone jelly. Everything that was shoved into us against our will, threatening punishment, humiliating and raping the child's psyche, all this to this day causes disgust in us. This is from the obvious.
But what happens to us after being force-fed at the mental level is far from so obvious. There are no external signs of damage. The same arms and legs, the same head, seemingly not stupid. It's just not good to live. Sad life, apathy. Not depression, no, but also joy not to feel, no matter what a person does, no matter how he tries to take place in this life, in a couple, in a team. System-vector psychology of Yuri Burlan shows exactly how this works.
Food is the basis of all relationships
All relationships are built on food. This is the cornerstone of our psyche, a shared community. Everything began with an additional desire for food; our first steps were a separation from animal to human. Hunger is what has ruled us since the beginning of time, and only recently we have ceased to be under its complete and merciless control. Food is life, it is our first desire, guaranteeing both survival and great pleasure at the same time. It is not for nothing that today many of us tend to seize stress, in an attempt to feel at least for a short while this simple but fundamental joy of receiving, at least somehow to fill the voids of unfulfilled desires …
Hunger as the main whip, urging a person to development, to create a stone ax and hunting tools. Get food to survive. Further more. Never alone, always in a pack. And the hierarchy within the pack has always been rigidly aligned with the right to food. And already further - with the right to a woman. No right to food, no right to woman. You are nobody. You are superfluous. You're out of the pack. You are lost.
That is why staying in the hierarchy - taking your place - meant survival and the possibility of happiness. And the loss of his place meant only one thing - death. For both men and women, albeit according to a different mechanism. That is why social shame has such a huge impact (still!) Violating the unwritten laws of the pack, natural taboos dictated by only one thing - the survival of the whole - a person immediately lost the right to bite. And social shame for violating natural taboos is such a force of suffering that could push a person to lay hands on himself. (For example, such taboo is incest for men and vicious behavior for women giving birth.)
Desire for food - desire for woman
Food is what life revolved around until we overcame the threat of hunger. A common table united people inside the flock, this relieved the tension of hostility (the well-fed, always happy). The relationship between a man and a woman began with food. Now, in a well-fed time, it is difficult for us to understand and feel. But more recently, the alimony of a woman and children was completely dependent on a man, he brought food to his woman, and in return he had the opportunity to continue his gene pool and get the longed-for orgasm, and with it - a sensual comprehension of his life. Not as a direct exchange, no, but in the best, purest senses. This is the hidden perpetum mobile of mankind, the guarantor of our development and enjoyment of life. Our nature-given gingerbread.
Desire for a woman … Food … A sense of security and safety … Big topics, which are given here only with a light touch, a retelling of the main thing … They are fully revealed by Yuri Burlan at the training.
Food as a guarantor of survival (unconsciously), as a great pleasure of fulfilling the basic desire and as a connecting link in any relationship, the basis of the foundations. Sharing food is where a relationship starts. Something that can strengthen any relationship. That which immediately disposes us to each other creates a community, not fleeting, basic. In a sense, this means that we are ready to survive together, we are one …
Yuri Burlan explains: the most important skill that you can instill in your child is teach him to share food, to do it with joy. And it will always be adapted among people, accepted in society and collective. The ability to share food is fundamental to a healthy psyche.
Do you want to arrange your beloved woman? Take her to the most expensive restaurant, let it be a festive occasion, beautiful clothes, appropriate mood, signs of attention, courtesy … Let her choose whatever her heart desires. And even if she can't even eat a tenth, she will unconsciously feel next to you that basic feeling of security and safety, without which you can go nowhere. Feeling, which is the basis of the foundations of relations between a man and a woman, their foundation.
A common table is the foundation of any relationship
A common table is the foundation of any family, its beginning. Do you want to strengthen your family, create relationships? Create a common table ritual, invest in it. Decorate the table in an unusual way, lay a snow-white tablecloth, gather the whole family at the table. May everyone be hungry, may the food be incredibly delicious. Talk about good things, share pleasant impressions, dear to your heart, and little secrets. Take care of each other at the table, share tasty morsels. Do this regularly, at least a couple of times a week, and you will see how the climate changes in your family. There will be an atmosphere of affection for each other, warmth and a cozy feeling of security, stronghold, something indestructible and eternal.
Much the same can be said about business lunches - it is easier for us to negotiate with a partner if we share food. It unites us, makes us something whole that survives together. In the meanings. We become disposed to hear each other much more than if we negotiated in a different form.
Where has the joy of life gone?
Now back to the children. To those who were force-fed. Do you understand WHAT happens to them in later life? Having received the experience of aversion to food, they consolidate unconscious negative attitudes in themselves, which in the future do not allow them to successfully adapt in society, create successful relationships.
Sharing food, sharing a common table - where others feel like a fish in water, easily reaching mutual understanding, mutual fulfillment, we do not fit in. Where others are disposed to experience mutual joy, we experience an unconscious disgust (remember the hated soup with lumps of fat pushed into you), at best we do not experience anything. So, the tastelessness of life. It is not interesting to live.
We are deprived of important basic support in building any relationship. We are losing the foundation under our feet, everything is given to us more difficult, with effort, but without the expected reward. Where the joy of receiving could be, we experience nothing. We don't know how to receive. We do not experience the joy of receiving.
Through the experience of force-feeding, we have lost the basic skill of being unable to rejoice when we receive. In our eyes, the giver is almost a rapist. We do not feel gratitude to the giver, we cannot accept when they give us, even with a pure heart wishing to sincerely please us. We experience anything but joy. We cannot accept. This means that we cannot build relationships, we push away those who sincerely wish to give us. Life, which at every step is a gift in big and small, does not evoke positive emotions in us, because we have not learned to receive with joy. Eat with appetite. Whatever we do, whatever we do for us, everything is insipid, boring, not that …
What do you think, the one who does not know how to receive, can he give? How can he be a giver if in his eyes this is by no means a positive character. Yes, we do not know how to give. This is how obstruction occurs. As antisocial elements, we do not fit into the general scheme of life, where everything is built on food, on giving and receiving. We find ourselves in the grip of the inability to live among people. And we suffer a lot from this, not even understanding what is wrong with us …
But this is not the end. This is just the beginning! System-vector psychology of Yuri Burlan allows us to trace this entire mechanism from beginning to end, to realize all the subtle components of consciousness and the unconscious that lead us through life, preserving the accumulated experience, anchors and anchors from the past. Realizing them, we become free. Live to the fullest. Create. Be in love. Share. Get. Rejoice in the breath of the breeze, to every person we meet on our way. And to eat with such delight with which we are set to enjoy receiving.
Revealing our nature in ourselves, we are just beginning to Live. A potential is revealed in us that we could not even guess about. Thousands of reviews prove it works! After a lesson on working through the trauma of force-feeding, we regain the Joy of Life, the ability to receive with pleasure and give from the bottom of our hearts!
Read excerpts from some of the reviews and register for Yuri Burlan's free online lectures. System-vector psychology is knowledge that can turn life in the best sense of the word.
“… Aversion to the world has disappeared somewhere. And one morning it turned out that the tightening film had disappeared. Like a butterfly emerging from a cocoon, spread its wings. I learned that there are other people looking at the world through dusty glass, but everyone can just live. It's so simple - in the physical world, enjoying the sun and the smell of grass.
It became pleasant for me to communicate with people. Not with a select few, but with everyone. Nobody is annoying anymore. In some incredible way, favorable situations began to develop around. And not just for me. The husband picked up a guitar, which, according to his friends, has not happened for fifteen years. And the miracle did not happen … I was just shown the road that leads to Life. And it turned out that life is the most incredible miracle that happens to us every second!"
Yanina B. Read the full text of the result “Thanks to the training, I really learned what it means to live with full breast and enjoy life … Creativity opened up. One day I woke up, sat down at the piano and started playing! Before that, I did not know how to do this. At first it seemed like mysticism! Now I am making music. The same thing happened with the talent to paint, I paint pictures. All my life I thought that I had no voice, that it was squeezed. Now I calmly sing any songs and a karaoke star))). All my life I wanted to write, but I had to squeeze the text out of myself. Today I wrote my first article in English !! " Evgeniya B. Read the full text of the result “I felt an inner lightness, as if something had fallen into place, and what I cannot understand yet, everything is somehow imperceptible and uncommon. The understanding came that everything is in my hands, I can do everything and I can do everything, the fear of the future has disappeared,only now I understand what was meant by the fact that everyone is the creator of their reality. " Julia T. Read the full text of the result>