Not a mother, not a father, or a thief from an honest family
Throughout the long, dreary night, I went through the fragments of our life, trying to understand, as a teacher and a mother, what went wrong in her upbringing and becoming as a person. After all, bad children are not born, so where do bad adults come from? …
Tears run down my cheeks in an uncontrollable stream, not bringing relief. This is the last memorial service for the dissolute life of my stupid sister. I no longer want and cannot communicate with this monster for which there is nothing sacred.
The last straw that broke the camel's back
Today was the last chord in our family drama. Some strange personalities rushed to me, a respected teacher, a mother of three children, and on the basis of an incomprehensible piece of paper, allegedly a court decision, they took out all the equipment and part of the furniture. I didn't even understand what was happening. Multicolored circles and gloating faces of neighbors floated before my eyes.
“For what debts? I haven't taken a stranger's penny in my entire life! - the only thing that I could mumble in response to such barbarism. An imposing man with a brazen smile finally enlightened me: “Here is such and such, such and such is registered. I took out a loan, and you are the guarantor and you are responsible with your property for non-fulfillment of the loan agreement by her, number such and such from such and such a date, accept the notification and sign it”.
Take me back to the past
I have never experienced such shame and humiliation. Again she, the grief of our family! We hadn’t seen each other for several years, we only called back, and I hoped that after a “profitable marriage” she had come to her senses and finally calmed down. It was a pity for money, but it was even more pity to destroy our already fragile relationship, because she is my only dear person, my family, my sister, whom I love very much and who I miss madly.
Take me back to the past to understand where that breakdown occurred, after which a greedy and deceitful woman grew out of a fragile blonde girl, for whom it is not a shame to rob her own sister.
Throughout the long, dreary night, I went through the fragments of our life, trying to understand, as a teacher and a mother, what went wrong in her upbringing and becoming as a person. After all, bad children are not born, so where do bad adults come from?
The blood is one, but we are so different
Childhood is the happiest time in life, full of miracles and joy. Our parents lived together and loved each other very much. The age difference between me and my sister is less than a year, we were often mistaken for twins - so we looked alike. With age, of course, I became rounded, but it remained thin and ringing.
Our father was a strict but fair man. Yes, his hand was heavy, but he never punished us just out of irritation or anger, he brought up, wanted to raise us as people.
I always confessed to the pranks myself, and my sister played tricks, cheated, rejected, trying to shift the blame onto me. But the punishment was assigned to us equally and fairly. And I forgave her everything, because she was my sister, my family. Flexible, mobile, like a lizard, mischievous fidget, always looking for adventure, harassing me, sparkling and sparkling - just a feast for the eyes.
Our father died of a heart attack. No, he died of a broken heart: he could not bear the shame that she brought down on him when a neighbor dragged her drunk and foul-mouthed, catching her trying to steal money from him.
There were tears, promises and a sea, a sea of lies. Poor dad, it's good that you never learned much. And about petty theft in the pockets of classmates, when I handed out all my savings so that there would be no fuss. Later, the eternal search for a profitable husband, turned into a line of lovers of all stripes. And eternal irritation, and permanent anger towards all of humanity, and black envy towards everyone and everything.
Bad joke of genetics?
There are dysfunctional families where children grow up in terrible conditions without receiving love and attention. Everything is clear here. An apple does not roll far from an apple tree. What was wrong in our prosperous and friendly family for my sister?
Parents spared no time and effort for us. We were brought up exactly the same, we were always divided equally - both praise and punishment. Moreover, she, as the youngest, always got a little more love and toys. So why, given absolutely equal initial data, did we get completely different answers in the equations of our life?
Equal conditions does not mean the same development
System-vector psychology of Yuri Burlan provides an answer to this and many other questions about the human unconscious. All people are similar externally - two arms, two legs, two ears, but internally they are already different at birth. The pitfall in this story is exactly the same upbringing of children with different vectors.
A vector is a person's innate desires, provided with properties for their fulfillment. They are decisive for the worldview and inner aspirations of each of us. These individual characteristics of the psyche cannot be created in oneself, they are given by nature and can either be suppressed, filling a person with suffering, or develop and be realized, bringing joy and satisfaction.
The best husband and father is a man with an anal vector. It is not surprising, because the family and children are their innate supervalue, and they were originally assigned by nature two main internal desires: the protection of women and children and the transfer of experience and knowledge to future generations. Nature is rational and pragmatic and, by setting desires, provides the human mental with the necessary properties for their fulfillment.
People with an anal vector are the creators of the family hearth, who value cleanliness and order, both in the house and in the soul. Conservatives, true to tradition. Loyal, reliable friends. The wife and children are the meaning of their life. They realize themselves in society as professionals in their field, teachers, doctors, and at home they are caring and calm couch potatoes, who do not like changes. They have a very developed sense of justice, which they define in their own way, unconsciously dividing everything equally, in an honest way. Often they become truth-lovers, cutting the "truth-womb" in the eyes.
But in the same family, children can be born with a different set of vectors, which will differ from the parent. And parents, seeing the world through the prism of their innate properties and wanting only good, begin to educate them in their own image and likeness. In a family of parents with an anal vector, a child with the same innate properties lives easily and calmly - he is internally, with all his soul, the same. And for a child, for example, with a skin vector, if his innate properties are not taken into account during upbringing, childhood brings psychotrauma, a lack of understanding of oneself and the ways of realizing one's inner desires, a distortion of the life scenario.
Thief or Prosecutor?
Once upon a time, the role of people with skin vector was to obtain food and preserve food reserves in case of famine. By assigning such a species role, nature has provided a person with a skin vector with the necessary set of physical and mental qualities for its maximum realization. A person with a skin vector from birth has a high sensitivity of the skin, as if skin feels the world around him, instantly adapting to changes in space.
Light, lean, flexible, with an excellent metabolism, people with a skin vector do not even need to be taught to dance, they feel the rhythm of music with their whole body, and it obeys them in unthinkable somersaults. When such a person walks in a crowd, he immediately changes the trajectory of movement and bypasses passers-by, never colliding, because at an unconscious level he clearly correlates time and space, his body, as it were, feels that, for example, this section of the path is three meters, can be completed in two seconds. And the skin man simply surrenders to movement, deftly maneuvering between passers-by.
Based on the specific role, the psyche of people with a skin vector has a number of individual characteristics. They are flexible not only in body but also in soul, they also instantly react to changing circumstances and adapt to them. Logical thinking, rationality and pragmatism, quick decision-making, the ability to perform several things at the same time and the desire for change - this is the mental nature of a person with a skin vector.
Natural born leaders striving for success, career advancement, who know how to make money in the modern world. Engineers who reduce time and space to improve efficiency, productivity and conserve resources for the benefit of society and themselves. Lawyers who create and enforce laws. Inventors guiding modern society towards acceleration, complication and standardization. These are all ways of maximum realization for a person with a skin vector in the 21st century.
The system-vector psychology of Yuri Burlan says that for fifty thousand years the human mental has developed and evolved from generation to generation. Now the child goes this way until the end of puberty, about 16 years old, developing from an archetype into his complete opposite. An archetype is the initial natural task of the vector, which its representative performed in the ancient flock, that is, not adapted to modern society.
So, a person with a skin vector is born in the natural sense as a thief. Indeed, in nature there is no concept of theft, there is the concept of getting food. Which way is not the main thing. A little man with a skin vector is rational from birth and, saving energy and time, steals candy from the table. This is absolutely normal, and, with proper upbringing, in the process of growing up, innate properties sublimate, that is, they come into line with the modern world. And, saving energy and time, an adult leather worker creates, for example, a stamping machine, realizing the same principle: to extract a resource with maximum efficiency and minimum costs.
Why does it happen that a person cannot realize himself adequately in modern society and in adulthood continues to behave like an archetypal person, engaging in theft or fraudulent activities?
The key to the most complex mechanism of the psyche
System-vector psychology of Yuri Burlan reveals the mechanism for creating such a negative life scenario. Parents with an anal vector very often physically punish their dermal child for his manifestations of desire for prey, which they see as theft.
Physical punishment for a skin child is much more terrible and much more tangible than for representatives of the anal vector (who, of course, cannot be beaten, like any children) due to the fact that his thin, delicate skin has a very high pain threshold. A slap, which is felt for a child with an anal vector that is insignificant in terms of pain, is very, very painful for a baby with a skin vector. The feeling of security and safety so necessary for all children is immediately lost, and the ancient psychic gives out the program of any living creature: "to survive at any cost." To fulfill the task laid down by nature, to get it at any cost with minimal cost.
By petty theft, unconsciously fulfilling his specific role, the child relieves his stress, but it is again followed by punishment and again "direct filling" of the innate desire to obtain, that is, theft. In this vicious circle, a child, as a rule, cannot develop to the opposite states and return to society. Already being physically an adult, he seeks to receive only for himself, trying to extract the maximum of material benefits, considering people only from the standpoint of “benefit-benefit”, using his flexible mind or gutta-percha fingers exclusively for selfish purposes.
It is impossible to understand the actions and thoughts of another through oneself. So, a person with an anal vector does not have a task to get food and even the thought of stealing does not arise, therefore, such a parent's attempts to get a baby with a skin vector cause strong indignation. They are people with crystal honesty, clean hands and unchanging, like rocks, principles. And trying to make the child the same as themselves, they fall into a trap, from which it is possible to get out only by fully realizing the desires and properties of their own and other people.
Is it possible to change something?
System-vector psychology provides an understanding of all the deep properties of our psyche. In the process of passing the training, hostility and condemnation of other people go away. After all, when you understand with all your heart what drives a person, the deepest resentment and anger go away. Awareness of their inner needs and properties changes even the most negative life scenario, removes the strongest psychotrauma and a lot of false attitudes that cripple life, causing suffering.
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