Time management from a mother of many children
Somewhere there, in the background, sports, work, favorite hobbies are lost, the phone numbers of friends are still saved … But there are only 24 hours in a day. What remains for a woman? Is there a chance to have time to be both an ideal mother, a wonderful wife, and just a happy woman?
Many-armed many-legged
It would seem that the more children, the more worries. All children are different, everyone wants attention, everyone has their own interests, aspirations, whims. One to school, football, music, English; another - to the garden, to dancing, acting; the third - to a speech therapist, to drawing and yoga; the fourth baby in general …
But there is also a husband who would also like to see his wife. And once there was a job that I would like to do. Somewhere out there, in the background, sports, a favorite hobby, are lost, the phone numbers of friends are still saved … But there are only 24 hours in a day. What remains for a woman? Is there a chance to have time to be both an ideal mother, a wonderful wife, and just a happy woman?
An accurate hit gives an advantage
What do we spend the lion's share of time and energy on? On doubts, torment, procrastination, the search for inspiration, an unloved job, attempts to establish painful relationships, attempts to reeducate unbearable children, to fight their own fears or depression, bad habits or obsessive thoughts, to resentment and dissatisfaction with their own life, and so on …
We spend half our lives solving problems that simply would not exist if we had the necessary knowledge of human psychology. Just imagine that all this time you have free! So you can manage to live one more life, at least.
If you know exactly your own desires. No, not those about chocolate or a new dress, but the very subconscious roots of all aspirations that form priorities, values and outlook on life in general. Then, for example, you unmistakably choose a field of activity in which you are not only like a fish in water, but which gives you satisfaction, fills you.
If you understand how a relationship between a man and a woman is built, you create this relationship for years. You choose your partner (yes, yes, you choose, not His Majesty the case) according to your principles and views on family life. And this person is not a mystery to you - you know exactly at the first meetings what you can expect from him and what not.
If you accurately observe the psychological characteristics of your children, you can easily determine their interests, their capabilities, their inclinations and develop them exactly in the direction in which they are talented and move with the greatest speed. And if not? We are able to inflict great psychological trauma on children without wanting to.
Your productivity today depends directly on your knowledge of human psychology. The effectiveness of any knowledge is assessed solely by the result that is stable over time. Only the training "System-vector psychology of Yuri Burlan" has such a result. More precisely, more than 20.5 thousand only written out results.
The systemic multimom sees right through the child
Knowledge of systemic vector psychology for a mother is the key to the effective development of all children and her own balanced state. This is what she can give them all at the same time, regardless of their number. And this is exactly what solves many problems associated with upbringing at once, and gives a feeling of security and safety to all her children.
It's not about armored doors or house security. We are talking about that very subconscious feeling of a happy childhood: when Mom is around. A person who emits an atmosphere of calm confidence, peace of mind, warmth and kindness. The feeling that you are at home where your mother is, because nothing threatens you, because there is no and there cannot be violence next to her - neither physical nor moral.
Children can get such a feeling only from the mother and in the case when she herself is in a balanced psychological state.
The very presence of this feeling in children is already half the battle of the successful upbringing and development of each child. After all, it is on this basis that his natural talents develop.
And then it's even easier. Distinguishing the vector of the child, that is, the features of his psyche, the mother easily understands who is in front of her - an obedient, thorough and patient baby who should be entrusted with cleaning the nursery, or a clever and resourceful fidget, for whom a sports corner is the most necessary in the house.
It is thanks to the understanding of the peculiarities of the baby's psyche that an emotional child with a violent imagination (the owner of the visual vector) goes to the acting studio, to dance or sing. A silent, quiet and focused child (with a sound vector) goes to music, swimming, or to an astronomical circle. A talkative and communicative joker (with an oral vector) goes to an oratory school or a culinary studio, depending on his wishes.
Because all this exactly corresponds to their innate properties of the psyche, that is, vectors. And because all this CAN be developed in each of them. That is why there are no disappointments in children - there are no false expectations. Moreover, when they are comfortable, when they feel a sense of security, they willingly develop - you will not need to force them, there will be no problems with behavior - hysterics, theft, resentment and stubbornness. By systematically understanding the psyche of children, you prevent the occurrence of any behavioral deviations.
Over time, thanks to systemic thinking, a kind of operating system is built in the mother's head, which automatically and accurately distributes responsibilities among the children.
Going to the grocery store with mom's card and a shopping list is the best way to handle the most responsible and honest: a child with an anal vector.
The most rational and resourceful one can make a schedule for the week, including all the circles and a plan of entertainment for the weekend: a child with a skin vector.
Such a system of competent delegation of authority allows everyone to make their own contribution to strengthening the family and feel their own importance for the common cause. This skill creates the right direction in the development of each child. Today he does it for the family or the class, tomorrow he will be able to better take place in society.
Having time for the main thing - you have time for everything
The main thing for a person is full realization. Otherwise, dissatisfaction accumulates, the internal state worsens: everyone suffers from this - both the children, and the spouse, and the woman herself.
However, with a full house of children, it is unrealistic to go to work with a tight schedule and office hours. Well, we define priorities, we select options that allow you to maximize the properties you have set. Here, a deep systemic understanding of one's own psychological properties comes to the fore, requiring constant and complete implementation.
Part-time work, telecommuting, freelancing, handicrafts, home kindergarten, private tutoring, entrepreneurship and the like. The modern world provides a lot of opportunities in this regard.
Many young mothers successfully combine work with motherhood, practicing counseling on breastfeeding, baby sleep, nutrition, massage, early development, and so on.
Often, it is on maternity leave that women discover their creative abilities - they begin to write a book, draw pictures, sew, knit, are fond of cooking, photography, and design.
The full realization of innate psychological properties brings the biochemistry of the brain into a balanced state, which is felt as satisfaction, inner balance, meaningfulness of life, fullness.
A realized woman is always in a good mood. It is difficult to piss her off, she is not a burden to household chores, she remains desirable for a beloved man, provides her children with a strong sense of security and safety. Such a woman lives with enthusiasm, inspiration, joy, generously radiating positive, kindness, warmth and tenderness.
A mother with many children feels the fullness of her realization especially acutely, because there is a multiple reflection of her inner state - everything is manifested in children.
When a mother suffers from her own dissatisfaction, does not see the results of her work, then the children do not receive a sense of security, which means that they begin to be capricious, sleep poorly, do not obey, quarrel with each other, turn away from their parents, move out to study, lose interest in hobbies.
Added to this are household chores, which I did not even think about before. They turn into a heavy duty, a senseless routine hard labor, since everything annoys and infuriates everyone.
Relations with her husband deteriorate, which further knocks the ground out from under his feet. Problems roll like a snowball, and there is no way out of the impasse. But everything could be different! If we start with the main thing.
Let's make our day
Everything that can be combined is worth combining!
Cooking with lessons is fine, cleaning with games is very good, jogging with a walk in the park is wonderful, transportation to school-gardens followed by a run to the store is excellent. It is best to wait for a child from the music with handicrafts in your hands (a laptop on your lap), and meeting your husband is just fine in a coffee shop near the kindergarten half an hour before the time when you need to pick up the children.
A systematic understanding of priorities helps you to devote time to what is really important, overshadowing what can be postponed.
Listening to the child's story about the matinee in kindergarten is more important than answering the phone, since the constant interruptions and tugging of the baby with the anal vector turn into stubbornness, resentment and intestinal problems.
Move the trip to the pediatrician for help, because today your child is doing a workout in physical education and he has been waiting for this for a whole week. After all, it is so important for a skin child to get the skills of an organizer and feel like a winner.
Children can take a walk in the yard themselves, if you and your husband want to dine together, because an emotional connection with your beloved is a guarantee of mutual understanding in a couple.
Once a week, you can still order a pizza - but read your favorite book to your children. Steam cutlets cannot replace the education of feelings and instill a love of reading.
And yes, the elders may well take care of the younger ones when mom needs to finish work, because then mom can play with them, and not scroll through the thought of an unfinished project.
And right there it is worth remembering about gratitude and reasonable systemic rewards. For a child with an anal vector - praise and recognition of his skills (in front of dad as well), for a skin baby - extra time or educational entertainment (labyrinth, zoo, attractions), and so on.
It is the same with penalties - everything is according to the vector nature. To a leatherman for deception - a restriction in space or time (deprivation of a walk, entertainment, gadgets), an anal baby - to express his mother's grief and scold his behavior at the family council. Systemic incentives and punishments are just that point hit that DOES work, which means that conclusions will be drawn - which means that this will affect behavior - which means there is a chance that the misconduct will not be repeated, but the exploits are just the opposite.
Parents with many children, who, it seems, are not able to do everything, can do much more than anyone else. They just have to be psychologically savvy. They have to understand themselves and their partner. They should be excellent students in child psychology. After all, this is the only way to write a clean copy of the happy life of your big family immediately and without mistakes.
The main thing is to live by your desires, to be realized, to understand those around you, to build relationships consciously, to educate children competently. Then everything is in joy. Then there are no sticks in the wheels and no unsolvable problems. There is no tyrant boss, a goat husband and difficult children. And there is no psychological garbage in the head, which takes time, effort, life …
In a large family, any mistake echoes many times, so they have no opportunity to experiment. Here we need an applied, effective and truly effective methodology that works immediately, such as the training "System-vector psychology" by Yuri Burlan gives.
Free online lectures coming soon. Register and have time for everything!
