Teenagers die. How to protect a child?
Unrequited love, academic problems, strained relationships with parents, and bullying at school are the most common official causes of teen suicide. However, this happens in the life of almost every student.
What is the real cause of suicidal thoughts during adolescence? How to recognize a fatal change in the behavior of a teenager and not let go to the line?
Teenage suicide statistics are growing inexorably. Children fly through windows, swallow pills, throw themselves under the wheels … Even well-fed, well-fed, dressed …
There is no explanation.
Parents are shocked.
Psychologists shrug their shoulders.
Teachers are tragically silent.
Relatives and friends are sorting through all the moments of life in their memory in an attempt to understand the reasons, to guess what led to such a terrible decision? How was that tipping point missed when a teenager lost the value of his own life?
Unrequited love, academic problems, strained parental relationships, and school bullying are the most common official causes of teen suicide. However, this happens in the life of almost every student.
So there was something else? Perhaps it is worth digging deeper: hidden mental problems, drug use, sect, death groups?
What is the real cause of suicidal thoughts during adolescence?
How to recognize a fatal change in the behavior of a teenager and not let go to the line?
The completely unchildish difficulties of modern adolescents are revealed by the System-Vector Psychology of Yuri Burlan.
Children of the third millennium
In the modern world, offspring are very different from their parents in literally everything. These are amazing children of the new generation Z. They are able to process much more information than adults, they are literally born with ten fingers stuck to the laptop keyboard - young hackers, gifted polyglots, potential geeks.
Our innate psychological desires increase with each generation. Children are born with a psyche that far exceeds that of adults. As a result, the differences in the worldview of fathers and children become enormous.
The most difficult thing today is for children with a sound vector. After all, their needs lie beyond what the material world can give.
Sound people are total introverts who find it difficult to communicate with others. Pensive children with an adult look. In this look, questions without answers are read, and the inner world of such guys is a whole Universe without borders. They baffle adults with their non-childish questions, to which not every adult can find an answer. They strive to understand life, they yearn for meaning, but they cannot find it. They want to know who they are and why they came to this world, otherwise why live.
A meaningless existence is painful for them. And so much so that they may mistakenly choose to leave life as getting rid of suffering.
Meanwhile, it is the sound scientists who are endowed with a colossal volume of the psyche, the largest among other vectors. This means that their opportunities for implementation are truly endless. A sound engineer can become an outstanding musician, scientist, philosopher, poet or inventor. If he can find himself …
It can be difficult for parents to understand the thoughts of a teenager, it is difficult to communicate with him, it is difficult to understand what he needs. This is an abyss of misunderstanding that creates mutual alienation, and as a result, leads to the fact that the teenager is left alone with his problems, which he is often unable to solve.
Especially dangerous when it is a sound engineer. Lack of mutual understanding with peers and parents leads to a closure in oneself, egocentrism begins to grow when a teenager thinks: "I am the smartest, unrecognized genius" - when he does not find his place in this life.
When there is no sense in living, life turns into pain and the teenager becomes depressed. Attempts to escape the painful reality sometimes lead to drug addiction, dependence on virtual games, such teenagers join death groups on social networks. In search of at least some meaning in life, sound people in poor conditions end up in religious sects, they can even flee to ISIS.
Deciding to commit suicide, the sound engineer does not really want to die, he seeks to get rid of pain, it seems to him that he is freeing an immortal soul from the confinement of a meaningless body.
The way is not through the window, but into life
What should parents do to protect their child from depression and suicide?
Provide him with conditions for the development and realization of his natural properties.
The basic sensation necessary for the full development of the psychological properties of any child is the feeling of security and safety emanating from the mother. Both a small child and a teenager need it until the end of puberty.
For a child with a sound vector, an atmosphere of silence and the possibility of privacy are extremely important. Any noise, shouts, swearing, and especially insults addressed to him are extremely destructive for the development of a sound engineer. They literally burn out the neural connections in his head. The child tries to protect his most sensitive sensor - the ear - from negative meanings, withdrawing into himself, moving away from the world.
Silence, communication in a calm voice, barely audible classical music contribute to the development of the properties of the sound vector. Conduct unobtrusive conversations with him before bed in complete darkness, in a whisper, as if trying to tell him the biggest secret or the most important secret in the world.
A sincere interest in a child's thoughts, dreams and ideas that inspire him, in his problems and experiences, unconditional support and a desire to help form an emotional connection between the child and the adult.
To save a child from suicide, it is not enough to take care of him: to feed, dress, give gifts - you need to understand him. He will not tell you about his inner pain, because he himself does not understand what is happening to him. You must explain this to him.
A sound child needs an adult to whom he could ask his questions and, most importantly, get answers. Answers even to unasked questions.
An adult who is not afraid to ask any question, because it is difficult to surprise him with anything. The systemic parent is ready for questions about life, death, the Universe, soul and spirit, the meaning of life and the Creator's plan, and the like. He is open to dialogue with the child, ready to reflect with him.
The aspiration of a sound scientist to understand the world, to the development of abstract thinking can be directed to the study of natural sciences, to receiving musical education, interest in languages - in linguistics, programming or literature, the need for knowledge of the human psyche - in medicine or neurobiology, and so on.
And then the child is able to open up. Even the most reserved introvert.
By stimulating the child's thinking, pushing and guiding him towards realization, we, parents, help him to take place in life, to feel joy, then he will be ready for new achievements. Then he will go himself. And then he will choose life. Just because he sees the meaning in it. Its own meaning. And it is worth our efforts!
Parenting systems thinking is the best vaccine against childhood suicide. Understanding, emotional connection with parents, development of natural talents, adequate adaptation among peers, enjoyment of life is a much more effective and efficient way than lectures and preventive talks about the value of life. Register for the upcoming free online lectures on Systems Vector Psychology and discover the secret of how to build a relationship with your child.