Life like a bundle under the heel: who the hairpin hurts
A henpecked man is a man who agrees with his woman in everything, does not show initiative and does not make any decisions on his own, is completely dependent on his wife, is under her control and always follows her instructions.
Give, says Mikitka, I'll put my leg on you.
And he, the fool, is glad of that: he says that not only the leg, but also sit on me yourself.
Viy.
Nikolai Vasilyevich Gogol
A henpecked man is a man who agrees with his woman in everything, does not show initiative and does not make any decisions on his own, is completely dependent on his wife, is under her control and always follows her instructions.
Although the concept of "henpecked" has its analogue in English, for example, wife-dominated or henpecked husband, it does not carry such a negative connotation there, because it is in the Russian mentality that the word "henpecked" is almost the most contemptuous mockery for a man.
Even before women began to walk in high heels, there was a peaceful and completely harmless word "podkubuchnik", which came into use from falconry.
In order for the bird to sit quietly on the hunter's hand and not try to fly away, a special leather cap is put on the falcon, or a cowl, which closes its eyes. Therefore, the word "podkubuchnik" meant an example of a family man, a faithful and devoted husband who lives only with his family and does not see himself outside the family hearth.
Over time, the word has changed and acquired a more dismissive connotation, reaching a negative peak these days.
Today the word "henpecked" is used only as a mockery or a direct insult to a man who plays the role of second violin in his family.
Is the family supporting role really humiliating for a man?
What is the reason for such a violent reaction to the “title” of henpecked among Russian men and why is it not perceived so sharply in the West?
Who calls others henpecked and what are the true reasons for the passive behavior of men?
VARIETIES OF HELLETS
In family life, just like in any other area of his existence, a person manifests himself according to innate psychological properties, and others can interpret his words, actions and behavior in different ways, depending on their own level of development and realization.
Most often, henpecked for others may seem to be representatives of the very home and family vector - anal sex. Unhurried and measured, patient and indecisive, the most loyal anal men value a quiet and comfortable family life more than others. Attaching to their soul mate, they are able to endure and put up with many disagreements and difficulties in relationships for a long time in order to preserve the family. Any change in relationships, and even more so large-scale as a divorce, is a strong stress for a representative of the anal vector, therefore, it is perceived as an extreme measure and requires the most compelling reasons.
Calm, slow speech and unhurried movements of such a man against the background of an active and active wife with a skin vector may look like manifestations of passive, compliant behavior and full agreement with her decisions.
The complete opposite of anal sex is swift and ambitious skin men, they can quite easily get used to the henpecked image if they need it. For a leatherworker, the main thing is to get some benefit or benefit, including from a relationship, his couple is always a “necessary” person, a kind of investment in the future.
The flexibility of mental processes and a high ability to adapt to any conditions allow skinners to behave in a relationship as they please, if this can give him material or social superiority.
Often skinners manifest themselves as henpecked when a break in a relationship entails a significant material loss or career failure. The threat of such a loss turns out to be more painful for the skinner than the henpecked behavior.
A man with a muscle vector for any other looks the most passive, because he has no skin ambitions or anal pride, his needs are life support, satisfaction of the needs of the body. The pleasure that the muscle receives from physical labor makes it ready for any, even the most difficult work, without expecting gratitude or reward. A hardworking and non-conflict muscular man seems to be a real henpecked, who is pushed around by a cunning wife. This impression can be created if the union is a muscular husband and a skin or anal wife.
But it should be borne in mind that most often the muscles choose the same as themselves in a pair, and all the work is done by both spouses without claims and proceedings.
Only the urethral man resembles less than all the others henpecked, because this is an initially uncontrollable vector. It is simply impossible to restrict or command the urethral leader. The first right to a bite, the highest rank among men - all this is inherent in his nature from birth, along with tolerance for members of his flock, a true sense of justice and mercy.
Urethral pleasure consists in bestowing, in moving his flock forward, into the future, for him the interests of his people are always a priority, and only then his own. He just likes to pamper his muse, givets, decorate with jewelry, fulfill her desires, but to regard this as submission and henpecked behavior would be fundamentally wrong.
Associated with the same urethral need for bestowal is the love of urethral women for a particular type of men - gentle, feminine, slim, flexible, often artistic. The urethral woman is attracted by their need for care, care, the urgent need to help them realize themselves in society, in other words, their ability to accept her help. It is very difficult for such men to fully realize themselves in modern society, especially in a more hostile Russian society for them.
Very often, such men dependent on the care of their urethral wife are called henpecked, although the spouse herself never considers them to be such. A striking example of such a relationship can be Alla Pugacheva and her men, with whom she keeps in touch even after the breakup.
AUTHOR, AUTHOR!..
We judge everything in the world by ourselves, and family relationships are no exception. We transfer all our own feelings, way of thinking, life values and priorities to other people, evaluating their actions in our own image and likeness. Speaking about others, expressing our attitude towards them, we express ourselves most clearly, show our inner world, our attitude, the state of our own vectors, their level of development and the degree of realization.
Calling someone henpecked, it is the caller who shows his own shortcomings. The most painful such "title" is perceived by men with an anal vector, and the more acute the reaction, the worse the state of the vector. The more diligently a man tries to emphasize his masculinity, his difference from a woman, making fun of the henpecked and saying: "I am a man, not a woman," the stronger the stress in his mental.
With such behavior, he "persuades" himself rather than those around him, as if he wants to make sure that he is really a man, and all his thoughts should correspond to "masculine" thoughts. And he does all this because of his undifferentiated libido.
With the development of mankind, the properties of the anal vector have found their implementation in teaching, research, analytics, information processing, and so on. A highly qualified specialist in any industry, an expert, a real professional who brings his business to the ideal, only a person with an anal vector is capable of this.
A realized analist perceives his family as the greatest value in life, he is proud of his wife and children, is always ready to do anything for them and will never be ashamed of the fact that he loves and respects his wife. Any household chores and worries touch him, at home he rests with all his soul, and to do something for his family for his joy.
Realizing himself fully at work, the anal husband gets sincere pleasure from communicating with children, family holidays, joint purchases, caring for his own home, yard or garden. He is a master with a capital letter and often loves to equip his life with his own hands, even owning the profession of mental labor.
Such a man is unlikely to call someone henpecked, he will not even pay attention to such nuances of someone else's family life, and even more so will not show aggression or hostility towards others. He simply has no need to do this, he does not have such a need, he is realized and receives pleasure from his life, and the pleasure is strong, full and rich. He has no doubts about his own masculinity, no sexual shortcomings, he is focused on realizing his psychological properties at the highest level - the level of a modern person.
WHY ARE THERE NO HEADLINES IN AMERICA?
The loss of realization by anal men, associated with the arrival of the cutaneous phase of human development, becomes the cause of increased aggression, hanging labels of the "henpecked" and ridiculing the passive, in their opinion, behavior of other men. This is especially noticeable in Russian society, which carries an urethral-muscular mentality, to which anal values, such as honesty, fairness, decency, quality work and recognition, have always been complementary, where analogs have always been in business, had a demand for their qualities.
Resistance to the onset of the skin era in the post-Soviet space turned out to be stronger than anywhere else, due to the sharp contrast of the skin properties of the mentality of Russian people. Skin flexibility, adaptability, logical thinking, the desire to find benefits and benefits for oneself in everything, the rationality of each step, individualism in everything, the dominance of legal relations, monetary regulation, private property, the race against time and advanced technologies - all this was included with great difficulty in the life of the urethral people, accustomed to living in their own way.
Russia entered the skin phase of human development last, shuddering from financial, economic, political, but most importantly, psychological crises. Losing realization in society, suffering from growing shortages, the anal person is ready to take out his dislike, not only making fun of the henpecked, but also anyone who does not behave like that, speaks wrong, walks or looks at him.
Western countries with a skin mentality have easily and harmoniously entered the skin phase of development. In Europe and America, no one is surprised by family relations formalized by a marriage contract, gender equality in all spheres, where everyone in the family has their own budget, everyone relies only on themselves, and who dominates in the relationship is already a private matter for each individual couple. Even if this state of affairs causes dissatisfaction in someone, then rarely anyone dares to express it aloud. It's every man for himself here.
Only in our country, everyone and everyone has a business. We are used to living with the whole world, a big Soviet family, where everyone is comrades to each other, and the greatest and most terrible punishment is public contempt. We bring out absolutely everything, pour out on everyone from ourselves, openly manifesting what is in our minds, what is boiling and bubbling inside, whether it is universal love or fierce hatred.
The Western family is a high fence and a wide smile, meaning a polite barrier, behind which there is a stop sign, private property, a closed area protected by his majesty by law.
Both we and they are not bad or good, we are just different, very different, and to understand this will already be a huge step in our common development, a step towards each other.
SO WHO IS HE - THE HEANBERRY?
Henpecked is not a separate subspecies of men and not even a convenient way of existence for lazy people, it is our own vision of others, an attempt to look at someone else's family through the prism of our thinking, values, priorities and … shortages.
It is a speck in someone else's eye that is a reflection of the log in ours. No matter how the relationship is built in another family, if both partners are happy and satisfied with their family life, then this is their choice, their version of a pair relationship. But when this state of affairs causes an internal protest, strong indignation, hostility, this speaks only of one thing - the insufficient realization of psychological properties obtained from nature.
Innate properties, they just are, they are present in your psychic, requiring their realization. You can embody them in a hostile attitude, a manifestation of sharp hostility, condemnation, indignation or contempt, or you can revel in passion for your favorite work, for that work that brings joy, that puts a deep meaning into your life and which gives true pleasure from the fact that you you live.
The concept of "henpecked" does not mean that someone grovels in front of his wife, it only means that the unique, incredibly valuable and amazing properties of your psyche are under the thumb of your destiny, but it is you who can change this and implement them so that be proud of your life and, smiling, fulfill the requests of your beloved wife.
