Why do I want to die …
Suicide is a tacitly forbidden and at the same time attractive topic. Some are reprehensible, hushing up the tragic cases known to them, others in bewilderment shrug their shoulders, taking away the Mary from themselves: "he had no shortage of anything." Suicide…
WHAT IS SUICIDE? …
Suicide is a tacitly forbidden and at the same time attractive topic. Some are reprehensible, hushing up the tragic cases known to them, others in bewilderment shrug their shoulders, taking away the Mary from themselves: "he had no shortage of anything." Suicide … A frightening fog of obscurity wanders among people who do not want to live, who have sacrificed earthly happiness, who have not reckoned with the myriad of earthly possibilities, who have traded everything for the chance to bring the end closer. Why does a person want to die in spite of everything that life offers him?
In society, such thoughts of suicide generate an unconscious confusion - they are not beneficial to those who are called upon to protect the physical world. Therefore, potential suicides are often bypassed, they do not notice, capturing only a picture, a demonstration: "crazy self-torturer", without making attempts to look into the soul of a suffering person, silently wailing into the void. “Lend a helping hand, don't slip away, throw the lifebuoy, don't leave; how to turn off this incessant muttering, which is colic and exhausting, how to extinguish this immense fatigue and get out of the closed captivity? Painful days and dreary nights, sucking out the forces that devastate the body - this shell, this cocoon, in which it is so cramped. Maybe the body is a prison bars, punishment for some unknown cruel offense? This is all unbearable, and I want to die.
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Suicide as a growing epidemic, like the plague of the XXI century, with one ruthless click of a red-hot whip can bring to the grave the lost one, whether it is a lost youth, crushed by the antagonism of other people's assessments and maturing internal contradictions; whether he is a successful careerist who conquered the peaks subject to him, but rolled down under the load of questions pushing him away from his usual activities; or maybe this is a decent citizen who has lost his face in the dirt and has not been able to recover from the discomfort? A mother who has lost her child, or a notorious villain who repented of his criminal past, but who does not know how to break the line? Any person who has turned off the path of stability and confidence, deprived of faith in his own adequacy, may have thoughts of suicide, and he will be at risk.
Having plunged into the viscous gloom of hopelessness, wandering along the unsteady waves of melancholy that fills the space, we find ourselves unable to resist the whirlpool pulling us into the abyss; the world is becoming blacker and darker, the lingering sounds in the head, the creak, the knocking, the hissing of crawling snakes - poisonous deadly thoughts, and only one remains to pulsate with a pure weightless note of hope, more caustic and unbearable - nothing of this will happen, - and a smile on his lips, replaced by a permanent stream of tears: hope interspersed with unconscious fear.
So why do we delay, why don't we take this step? Why is scrupulous cold-blooded calculation not justifying itself? We return, we are looking for, we are waiting for help from heaven, ready at every moment to break loose and carry out our last intention.
Suicide is a fatal step that breaks the rope from the point of no return. But we are still alive, which means that all is not lost yet. Suicide is an unjustified challenge to nature, and it is in our hands to step over ourselves by realizing the reasons and be able to turn our face to nature.
There are people who commit suicide spontaneously, under the influence of passion or an event that acts as the last drop and fatal blow. And there are those for whom death is preferable to a painful amoebic existence - mental pain engulfs the whole body, twisting muscles with convulsions, making it difficult to straighten up and finally gulp fresh healing air - coughing up, whispering, catching the bile poison with my lips: "I want to die." But does a person thirst for death, in despair resorting to a suicide attempt? Does he wander in the darkness of oppressive suffering, pointing his fingers into the surrounding indifferent vacuum, at random, and does not receive even a fleeting response? Or is it red-hot to the limit of his poisoned heart wound - torture, knocking out the focus? And in the distance, a flickering point - one blow, and suffering will end.
Most often, a person preparing to commit suicide is not able to answer the question of what exactly gave birth to this pain. Misadventures and failures, setbacks and rejection, no future? But after all, many go through trouble, instantly activating when they arise, showing miracles of ingenuity and throwing all resources into solving problems. A person who does not want to live finds an explanation for this phenomenon in his weakness and imperfection, lack of adaptation to the conditions of life, - lowers self-esteem, lowering it to a critical level. As a result, the slightest failure in the system puts him into a stupor, deprives him of strength and drives him into a depressive state. And what can we say about major disasters, the collapse of gigantic plans, the death of loved ones - the only difference is that all these are not reasons, but only reasons forto finish off an already torn soul with pain and doubts.
An irrepressible whirlwind will overwhelm this wild feeling of emptiness and frailty of life; sticky, obsessive, accompanied by an enduring migraine, squeezing the temples; like an elusive moth that eats away at the soul, causing it to burst and throb in a frantic agony of ever-increasing pain. A blatant silence inside and a resonating hubbub outside, tearing and enveloping in a sticky obsessive film so that you want to howl in height about the approach of the end, about the end of this madness, about the way out of the murderous fight with oneself at any cost: a deserter, a slave, amazed - to plunge into eternal peace, serene darkness without the annoying hustle and bustle of everyday life, without inappropriate jokes finishing off other people's judgments, realizing an irresistible urge to self-destruction.
For the first time, through the bubbling rumble and rattling of the skull, twisted by the painful press, the consciousness catches the thought: I do not want to live. Life has become unbearable, and whose fault is it? Why do I want to die so much, and why exactly did I come to the brink of despair, stupor, hopelessness, being the last weakling who could not cope with the load of problems, I - whose requests were so great, hopes laudable, and in the end everything crashed on the harsh masonry reality …
Suicide is a leap into the arms of eternity, but it is a leap without a ticket and without a line, and the penalty can be as unpredictable as anything about the transcendental. So is the risk justified, and why die?
A murderous myth or a rumor spread by someone that one who has decided to commit suicide will silently execute a severe execution over himself. It rushes about like a hunted animal driven into a corner: helpless, helpless, homeless, clasping our knees in the desperate grayness of the attic or sweeping away the gray dust of the highway at breakneck speed, we are devoured by the depressing realization of our fate.
A person feels his body, and in discomfort - the separation of the soul from it; it can be considered that mental pain is a disconnection, a mismatch of two interdependent elements: body and consciousness. A person is not aware of this, looking for signs and confirmation of his thoughts, intuitively anticipating that there will be someone or something that will dispel the illusion, relieve suffering and return the lost ability to enjoy life. Reasoning on the topic “how to die quickly, is it possible to die painlessly and with high efficiency” is the first sign that a person needs help. He can play with words differently, making casts from quotes, forming his own theses regarding death, suicide, and the lack of meaning in life. He is unobtrusive, because this is a test: "what if", because a lot is at stake. But if disappointment prevailsit is quite possible that a suicide attempt is inevitable.
Suicide is like a scourge of modern society, dragged into the abyss of miserable and insipid amusements, false values, a bouquet of idleness and irritation of the exploding television air; like sand tickling and irritatingly crunching on the teeth instead of the expected sweet languor.
"I want to die, help me die" - so sickening and unbearable is this poison, kindly supplied by well-wishing murderers, cultivated with such voluptuous hypocrisy, instantly clogging any holes and escape routes. You are surrounded, squeezed into a cramped cage, but you are an alien element, and your choice is to suffer or to expel yourself outward under the guffaw of those who deliberately brought you to the grave. The lack of demand, the unacceptability of your views are your companions and the protective grid of the laughing crowd, a sophisticated way to protect oneself from crazy thoughts, which she is simply mortally afraid of.
After all, if You have reached this edge and are already ready to break off and fly, then there is some kind of force that rivals the earthly one in terms of the force of attraction. And who knows - whom will she lure into her arms next …
Suicide is not a sentence. Let us omit those who have already finished their journey, stepping into the abyss of silent despair, and talk about those who are balancing on a fine line, but who can still be persuaded to the right path.
Through awareness and understanding of the true reasons that give rise to thoughts of suicide and pushing for suicide, through painstaking but exciting work on oneself. Nature is not mistaken, and each of us is given that saving chance, which we ourselves must grasp and not allow ourselves to loosen up.
You probably noticed that people who do not have a strong support, their own social niche, where they would be understood and supported by those who think and feel in unison, are more likely to think about suicide. These are people completely immersed in their suffering, unable to go out into the real world, but this does not mean that they do not want this. They flee from suffering, burying themselves in heavy music, drowning the pain with alcohol, but such release is temporary, and a person who decides to commit suicide understands this.
A suicide is one who has fled from suffering caused by an unconscious, essentially unfulfilled desire. This tremendous desire is the true cause of suicide, it breaks out, but is suppressed by extreme egocentrism and the inability to look beyond the limits of one's own I. This is the desire to comprehend the hidden, to unravel the incomprehensible, to merge in a single rhythm with the Universe, to achieve harmony and spiritual light. Ideals, the realization of which is so hampered by the mortal body and the imperfect physical world. How easy it is to die, throw the body out the window and forget about everything. We do not realize that this is forever. That this is Death.
Realization erases the pain. And here it is impossible to cope alone, shutting yourself up inside yourself. The cancer cell kills itself. Training in systemic vector psychology is one of the opportunities to cross the line, get out of the loop and feel how destructive thoughts gradually recede, giving way to happiness and pleasure.
Many are interested in the question of how to die. You have to be mad, addict or fanatic to burn yourself alive or commit hara-kiri. Usually, people choose more accessible methods: they sigh from the upper floors, bleed from their veins, swallow packs of sleeping pills, less often throw themselves under the wheels. But none of these methods guarantee the desired outcome. Suicide is a wild horror of what has been done and the destruction of a soul, initially pure and ready to start fulfilling its intended mission.
There are those who need attention, declaring "help me die!" Or trying to take revenge in such a ridiculous way, these people, as a rule, choose extravagant ways of death, shocking the target audience and bystanders. The reason for such suicides is an overabundance of free time and a low cultural level of a person. And there are people for whom the thought of suicide is the last joy and refuge, and the only thing that is encouraging. After all, we understand that something is bothering us, but we cannot feel it. We suffer in ignorance, like flies caught in a deadly net. And there is a way out. And he's close. You just need to want and trust those who have already gone through all these stages. To realize what we really want - death? …
In conclusion, the real potential suicide is the suffering sonic. And nobody else. Demonstrations are characteristic of a spectator who, saying “I want to die,” draws in his head only pictures of undivided attention to himself and compassion, and only in extremely rare cases those who have other vectors commit suicide. But the only one who picks up the vibrations of the transcendental, who more or less represents where he wants to go (mistaken, of course) is the sound vector.
During the training, real reincarnations take place from a suffering and oppressed person into a sane person, realizing his goal and receiving tremendous pleasure from life. There is no trace of depression and thoughts of suicide, except as a weak residual phenomenon, which also disappears over time. And the body also ceases to be a hindrance, it becomes our ally in achieving new, awakening desires. And death will not go anywhere, and one day it will still overtake anyone. So is there any point in rushing?
You can already hear the meanings with your ears and draw your own conclusions at the free online lectures on system-vector psychology by Yuri Burlan. Register here.
