He doesn't want me, or Why do men have a headache
When an emotional connection is not built in a couple, the primary natural attraction gradually fades away. The man loses interest, does not want to. Even if sex does happen sometimes, the full satisfaction does not come. Long-term happiness, the desire to embrace the whole world, as with the first love, to get a star from the sky, that is, to be realized to the fullest, - neither a man nor a woman has. The feeling of emptiness gradually grows, I want more. And what exactly - both partners do not know. It is often thought to be sex. But is it sex? And which one?
She turned to his back and started kissing his neck with absolutely "Russian language". He was awake. But on the other end of the line they clearly did not want the same thing as she did. Attempts went down below. Also to no avail.
“Darling, sleep,” he said in a calm voice.
Two backs fell asleep side by side, turning in different directions. He is fine. She has…
She lay for a long time in the hope that he would not dare to fall asleep and would correct this irreparable mistake. Tears ran down the sheets, anger became unbearable …
Meanwhile, in her head …
"It's humiliating. How can it be that I, a woman, beg for sex from my husband? Who should want whom, in the end!"
The lower abdomen was very painful. She will not be able to sleep for a long time … If it were possible to kill him now, she would have done it.
Rejected in bed …
This sensation was getting more firmly embedded in the skin every minute. As a stigma, as a label "you are not a woman", "I do not want you."
One could understand a tired husband, one could come up with excuses. But somewhere, in the depths, she understood that this was the end …
According to unofficial statistics, a third of married couples live without intimacy. Even more - they have sex, but it does not fill, does not give the feeling of wings and happiness.
The myth that with age one wants variety (poses, games, partners …) is not supported by the facts of solving the problem in this way. Feelings pass? A good deed is not called a marriage?
In fact, everything is different.
Intimacy is born in conversation
What do you know about his childhood? How are your family evenings going? Can you talk all night long, telling each other things that no one else in the world knows?
When an emotional connection is not built in a couple, the primary natural attraction gradually fades away. The man loses interest, does not want to. Even if sex does happen sometimes, the full satisfaction does not come. Long-term happiness, the desire to embrace the whole world, as with the first love, to get a star from the sky, that is, to be realized to the fullest, - neither a man nor a woman has. The feeling of emptiness gradually grows, I want more. And what exactly - both partners do not know. It is often thought to be sex. But is it sex? And which one?
There is no sex on the animal level.
Yu. B.
When they say that sexuality is an animal, sex is greatly underestimated, lowering it to the level of reproduction. We are not monkeys, and simply mating, or, as it is often called, “sports in bed” or “sex for health,” is not capable of becoming the highest pleasure for us. You can relieve tension. But fill in this way and fill your partner so that you want to shout to heaven: "I love you, Life!" - you can't. That is why a feeling of dissatisfaction accumulates, for which we most often blame the partner.
But this is intimacy: when people tell stories to each other in the darkness of the night.
Elizabeth Gilbert, Legal Marriage
To enjoy sexual intimacy yourself to the fullest and give a feeling of happiness to another person, you need a tool. It becomes a conversation between two people. A woman begins to create an emotional connection by involving a man in this process.
This is not a conversation about how I ate at lunch at work. Not about which car the neighbors bought. And not even about what kind of tutors a child needs.
Emotional connection is about experiences, feelings, hopes. Asking a man how his day went, gradually transferring the conversation to childhood memories and dreams, you can discover a lot in him. To share your innermost experiences yourself is a necessity for creating spiritual intimacy, and therefore for a happy sex life.
No need to make claims - there were already a lot of them. Try to create that very trust between you, and you will see how much your man is drawn to you, how much he wants and loves you.
An emotional connection builds a sense of satisfaction in sex.
Not to your mother and not to your friend, but to your man, carry all the conversations, experiences and feelings. It is the engine and fuel of his sexual desire. When the first natural passion cools down, a man is excited only by an emotional sensual connection coming from a woman. This priceless fuel should not be dumped into friends, colleagues and relatives. Only to Him, your husband. After all, if you are empty inside - then what should he respond to, what should he want?
How dissatisfaction manifests itself in a relationship
Resentment …
A woman can accumulate anger and resentment for a long time, and then throw it out in the form of claims, insults, a desire to inflict pain and even revenge with another partner. It is those women who have a strong libido that have great patience and loyalty. But they cannot endure when they “want”.
Their irresistible need for sex is so great that refusal is perceived as a stab in the back, a kind of shame. This creates a sense of shame and a sense of female failure. For a woman, it's like zeroing her feminine nature.
What is behind the desire to get intimacy from a man?
Feeling desirable, the woman unconsciously receives confirmation that "he is mine, he is inspired and will not go anywhere, which means that I am protected." Through her desire, she gains a sense of security and safety - a basic feeling for building relationships. Absolutely everything in these words is “I want you”.
Sometimes, when alienation grows in a couple, sex becomes the last stronghold, a kind of attempt to get through bodily contact that which did not take place on another level - the mental one. Sex becomes a kind of "easy" filling. We are trying to drown out another lack with them, whose name is love.
And then, seducing a man for sex, a woman unconsciously calms herself: "He takes me, enters into a relationship with me, I enjoy his orgasm, which means that he is mine and will not go anywhere, he will protect me and will continue to be my husband." But it doesn't work.
What's really going on?
A woman does not implement her sensuality correctly (it does not matter if she has a visual vector or not), does not give her feelings to a man. On the contrary, it requires attention, emotions from him, but does not create a basis for this. He cannot give her what she wants - and the relationship is destroyed.
The woman thinks that the man is to blame. But it is in her power to change everything. When a woman creates an emotional connection, she receives a response from a man (if normal) in the form of trust, emotional closeness, and sexual desire. And all this gives incredible mutual pleasure!
It is important to understand that female sexuality is growing rapidly. All scientific and technical (and not only) progress in the modern world is a woman's request. It became necessary for a woman to experience an orgasm. But his achievement is not secured by physiology and not even by experience. Namely, the emotional connection, the depth of the relationship with your man.
It is the woman who sets the emotional message and receives the response from the man. So together they open the world of two, passing through the unknown corners of each other's souls, merging together, taking sexuality to a new level.
And this is incomparable!
