Twenty years later. Why don't I feel like going to a reunion?
When you receive an invitation to a meeting of alumni and classmates 25 years later, at first you rejoice at the opportunity of meeting - such a great opportunity to meet people whom you have not seen for many years, to find out how school or university friends are doing, to remember joyful moments. But then doubts come over you - is it worth going? Surely others have already achieved a lot in life: many have a family, children, someone has advanced in their careers, someone has gone to live abroad. In general, everyone is doing well. And you have?
It can be different - different scenario of the meeting. 20 years later, former graduates have matured and a lot has changed. For example, you still don't have a family. You never made a career. So you live: work - home, work - home. Even if you have achieved something, your achievements seem insignificant to you. You are prone to constant self-examination and self-criticism: "I could have done better, but it turned out not well enough."
And some of my classmates after these 20 years are still not interested in conversations at the level of kitchen gatherings. And the scenario of the meeting will be completely different. Such people want to discuss something global, significant, and not diapers, diapers and a vacation by the sea. Among their classmates, they were always alone, they were bored with them, and little has changed in 20 years …
Different people have different reasons why they don't want to go to a reunion. Let's use Yuri Burlan's System-Vector Psychology to figure out what these reasons are and try to look at the alumni meeting in a new way. 20 or 25 years have passed - it doesn't matter.
For whom the alumni meeting is a heavy duty
System-vector psychology explains that there are people who are much more comfortable alone, alone with their own thoughts, than among other people. She defines them as the owners of the sound vector.
Unlike other people for whom social success, career, material well-being, family and children are important, all this is not of interest to sound specialists: they have different values. They are consciously or unconsciously looking for an answer to the question about the meaning of life, about why they came to this world. And if they do not find it, then they are prone to depression, to withdraw into themselves, into their own thoughts and states. 25 years later they are still the same, they are not interested in the alumni meeting.
When they're preoccupied with their own thoughts, they don't really care about other people. In such states, they are self-centered. It seems to them that there are some idiots around, that other people will not understand them. People with a sound vector focus on abstract, abstract concepts, which is why they often go to science, philosophy, languages, programming, mathematics, physics, or other areas of knowledge. So they strive to realize their high intellectual potential, abstract thinking, with the help of which new concepts, theories and teachings can be created.
However, being carried away by mental work, such people often remain loners, without feeling the need to build connections with other people. They have few friends. It so happens that the sound engineer does not even have anyone to talk to.
Among other people, the sound person who does not know how to fulfill his sound desires feels uncomfortable. When approached, he needs time to get out of the state of inner concentration and answer the question. Therefore, sound professionals often do not immediately respond when they are addressed - they just need a pause to extravert and think about how to respond.
The soundman cares little about his body. Often he wears the same clothes for a long time, because he does not care what to wear, he never chases fashion.
An alumni meeting is an event where, willy-nilly, you need to communicate with others and look good. It's stressful for a sound engineer. In addition, this is an event where everyone makes noise, talks loudly, jokes, and the sound engineer does not tolerate loud sounds: he has a very sensitive hearing.
And now you have to either smile through force in order to try to be like everyone else, or sit on the sidelines and feel like an outcast. 10 or 25 years have passed, but even these years later, the sound engineer does not feel "at home" at a meeting of matured classmates.
A successful person or a failure?
But for some people, it is someone else's success 20 years later that can cause unwillingness to meet with classmates. The worst scenario for a graduate meeting for him is to meet a more accomplished classmate. System-vector psychology of Yuri Burlan classifies people for whom career, success, high material and social status are important, to the owners of the skin vector.
Such people have a subtle sense of time. Their day is scheduled literally by the hour and minute. They take on several tasks at once, just to get more done. Skinners do everything quickly. So they save time - the main resource of their lives. They are really capable of achieving a lot in life if their properties are properly developed in childhood, and then implemented in the right direction.
If in the skin child his ambitions, the desire to be the first, the tendency to be competitive, humiliated him verbally, then he forms a scenario for failure. The fact is that the skin vector endows its owner with special adaptability to environmental conditions, including pain. He learns to experience the pleasure of humiliation, and therefore in adulthood such a person, although consciously striving for success, unconsciously finds a way to become a failure. So he gets his scanty pleasure.
Such a person comes to a meeting of graduates and envies everyone: "Well, others succeed, but I do not." Successful classmates at the meeting are like a painful splinter, for 20 years they "took place". Years later, the leather worker feels like a loser against their background.
There may also be another reason for the skin person's reluctance to meet with classmates. Such a person tends to consider everything from the standpoint of benefit and benefit, including the connection between people. And if such a friendly meeting and maintaining communication with its participants does not imply tangible benefits for him, he can easily refuse it. This is not the kind of person who cherishes the memory of old friends.
Excellent student and the best specialist
A person with an anal vector, on the contrary, loves old friends very much, recalls the past with pleasure and is glad to the evening of the meeting of graduates through the 20 years that have passed unnoticed. However, doubts, dissatisfaction with himself, shyness can make him refuse to meet with classmates. As a rule, such states are characteristic of him in the absence of the realization of his properties in life.
People with an anal vector are the best professionals in their field, thorough and thoughtful. They study any problem for a long time and comprehensively before starting to solve it. At the same time, they are somewhat slow, but very diligent in learning. Such people in school were very likely to be excellent students. Especially with the anal-visual combination of vectors.
System-vector psychology of Yuri Burlan says that the natural role of a person with an anal vector is the accumulation, generalization and transmission of information to future generations. Such people often become teachers, they make good doctors, writers, scientists, experts in their field, because they have analytical thinking and the ability to notice the smallest details that make up the whole. This ability allows you to notice and eliminate any error.
However, it is a person with an anal vector that finds it difficult to make decisions, it is peculiar to doubt. He often questions his own accomplishments. It is he who is inclined to self-criticism, it always seems to him that he is not doing his job well enough that he could have done better. On the one hand, the desire for perfectionism pushes him to develop, learn and become the best professional, the most experienced, the most knowledgeable, but on the other hand, it is a source of constant internal dissatisfaction with himself.
A person with an anal vector can doubt anything, including whether to go to a reunion or not. Immediately he finds himself a bunch of excuses not to go. A mass of urgent matters will emerge, which had been accumulating for years, but it was on the day of the meeting of graduates, 25 years later, that he suddenly decided to urgently deal with these matters. And after all, he will indeed find very weighty arguments and a solid reason not to go to the evening of the alumni meeting.
The thing is that it is for a person with an anal vector, especially with an anal-visual ligament of vectors, that it is important what other people think of him, how he looks in the eyes of other people. Inborn fear in the anal vector is the fear of dishonor. When such a person does not sufficiently realize his properties, he feels self-doubt, afraid to say or do something wrong. He is usually shy and shy in a large group of people, so meeting alumni can be a real test for his self-esteem, especially if he feels that he has not realized himself enough as a professional.
So whether or not to go to the alumni meeting?
System-vector psychology of Yuri Burlan helps to realize one's innate desires and properties and learn how to use them for the benefit of oneself and society. And this means - to resolve all your doubts, get rid of fears and self-criticism, feel the meaning of life.
And then you stop worrying and worrying about every occasion, and from every new meeting you expect only the best. People are revealed from new, unexpected sides. You notice in them what you have not seen before. It becomes pleasant to communicate with any person, because you begin to understand him not by his actions, but from the inside. And I already want to see the graduates 25 years later, I want a meeting for this evening.
System-vector psychology helps to accurately see what states other people are in, what is happening to them. Arriving at the alumni meeting, you no longer look at your old friend Vasya through the prism of many years of grievances, but you understand that he is the way he was created by nature, and he cannot behave otherwise.
It becomes clear why your classmate never had an end to men, and you begin to explain this not by external beauty, but by her mental characteristics hidden in the unconscious. And then meeting with classmates becomes an important and interesting event in your life, a source of joy from meaningful communication with people.
When you begin to understand other people, you already know what to expect from them even 25 years later: with whom you can talk heart to heart, and who you should not trust secrets. The alumni meeting is becoming desirable. It becomes interesting to communicate with others, because only in communication new horizons open up for us, and we get answers to our questions.
System-vector psychology of Yuri Burlan reveals to us the laws of the human psyche and his relations with other people. Register for free online lectures at the link:
