A 20-year fight is my victory over stuttering
Stuttering is a real curse. Such things that an ordinary person does not cost anything to do are a difficult test for a stutterer. Elementary situations turn into torture: making a phone call, contacting a stranger, buying something in a store. I had to go through this …
Stuttering is a real curse. Such things that an ordinary person does not cost anything to do are a difficult test for a stutterer. Elementary situations turn into torture: making a phone call, contacting a stranger, buying something in a store. The first word is the hardest to say. It gets stuck in the throat. Especially if this word, for example, in the letter T. Or in the Z. Or in O. Almost the entire alphabet of a stutterer can be written down as sworn enemies. But when the first word is spoken, squeezed out, tortured, you need to continue the conversation, but here it will jam again, then the lips begin to make it is not clear what. Friends avert their eyes, pretending not to notice. Ill-wishers grin.
Public speaking is a separate topic. Often a stutterer is afraid of his voice, which is amplified by a microphone during such speeches. He somehow copes with himself, through incredible tension he finds the strength to speak, but some words do not come out. And what about without them? We have to look for substitutes on the go, not always, I must say, suitable ones, in addition to the usual words, all sorts of "eeeee" and other verbal rubbish are used. Okay, words - they can be changed somehow, crumpled somewhere or even skipped. But where to go from the numbers? …
I had to go through this.
My Stuttering Story
I started talking early. A year and a half. Purely. I spoke a lot and enjoyed it. Thoroughly. Sometimes he composed, of course, but did not feel it was a lie. Until a certain age, everything was normal, but at the age of five some, almost imperceptible, problems began. After the first months at school, it became clear to parents that the child was stuttering. It came as a shock to everyone.
Speech therapists could not help. "He's worried, probably give him a sedative." They gave it. Medication calm, however, did not solve the problem. Then the grandmothers-healers went into action. I don't remember how many there were. They, each in their own way, poured out fear, then looked for damage, then offered prayers to someone who is not clear. No result either. There were some crazy impostor doctors who treated all ailments with mysterious devices, but they could not cope with this problem either.
As a result, attempts to overcome stuttering somehow came to naught. My speech did not seem like one continuous speech defect, but the problem manifested itself too often to be attributed to excitement or coincidence.
I remember a nightmare in English lessons at the institute. We were asked to learn words at home, then they were checked. Some words did not want to come out. On the agenda, for example. I don’t remember how many times “the” escaped from me before I could say “agenda”.
How I dealt with stuttering
Almost all my adult life I have been trying to overcome stuttering. I read a lot of literature, talked with psychologists. As a result, I did not overcome stuttering as such on my own, but I learned how to masterfully use the auxiliary techniques that allowed me to speak.
For example, if a word does not want to come out, sometimes some easy-to-pronounce parasite word helps to promote it. Something like "eeeh" or "here" or "in general". If the word still does not work, you have to replace it.
In addition, you can help yourself with gestures or attract the facial muscles of the face (the method is not very good: it looks like a tick). I also had other "helpers". I remember at one time, back in school, something like sniffling was such an aid.
All these techniques do not decorate speech, but they allow you to get out of the speech stupor. As for those cases where stuttering was manifested by multiple repetitions, there's nothing you can do about it. One could only repeat within oneself “calm down, calm down” and hope that the next word would not “break down”. Such hopes were not always justified.
As a result, if we summarize everything that I did, we can say that there are some of the most difficult situations left, which could not be overcome by any methods. For example, buying something in a store. For some reason, when I had to ask the seller for something in a regular store, the stuttering came down on me with all its might. Therefore, I tried not to visit ordinary stores, preferring supermarkets, where the traditional question of whether a bag is needed can be answered with a nod of the head.
Phone calls are especially worth noting. Until recently, on duty, I had to call a lot. Every call is concentrated stress.
Sometimes I record video courses. The recording takes place in an extremely calm atmosphere, reminiscent of a conversation with oneself. Usually, in such situations, stuttering is practically not manifested. But when the red record light is on, the loneliness dissipates. Therefore, say, a half-hour record has to be edited for three hours, cutting out the faulty places, rewriting them anew, and such an event takes more energy than an hour of training in the gym.
Why did I start to stutter?
Despite the fact that I learned to live with it, I was haunted by one simple fact: there was a time when I spoke, without thinking about what I was saying and where I was saying. I remember myself from a very early age. I understood that my stuttering was caused by some mental problems that could be solved by methods of psychological influence. I rummaged through my memory, trying to remember how it all started, what caused it, but nothing worked.
They brought me up well, I developed my innate abilities perfectly. Perhaps a silver medal at school, a red diploma at an institute and about thirty books written, edited or translated by me to date can serve as objective evidence of correct upbringing. As a result, it was not possible to understand the roots of the problem. I didn’t succeed until recently - before meeting with Yuri Burlan at the trainings “System-vector psychology”.
Looking ahead, I will say that now, after passing the trainings, the stuttering has given up. A war of about 20 years has been won. You know, it’s such a pleasure - freely, without stress, ask the watch store if you can try on this Timex or just call the help desk. Yes, every word is now a joy.
This did not happen immediately, the process proceeded gradually. It continues now. When I started noticing positive changes, I was skeptical about it. I watched myself for a long time, experienced different speech situations. When I realized that everything was over, it was one of the happiest days in my life.
I don’t want to remember the time when I stuttered. But I will remember - in order to give those who stutter a chance to get rid of this nightmare.
Now I will tell you, in order, what I managed to realize at the trainings and how I still overcame stuttering. By the way, getting rid of stuttering is not the goal of trainings. This is just a "side effect".
Anal vector and stuttering
Above, I mentioned two types of stuttering. The first is when the words get stuck in the throat and it is difficult to start speaking or saying a word. The second is when the lips stop working normally and repeatedly pronounce a syllable or letter.
Let's figure it out for a start with the first. This type of stuttering is typical for the owners of the anal vector. In order to understand the nature of its occurrence, let's start from the very beginning. Namely, from early childhood. Children with such a vector are characterized by a thorough approach to any business. If the case has started, it must be completed. And you need to complete it efficiently. This applies to everything from the task of cleansing the intestines to cleaning the room or talking about something.
Children with anal vector are assiduous and unhurried. If such a child gets the same parents, then, by the equality of properties, they will understand his sluggishness and will not urge him on, pull him - and thereby save him from many problems in the future. If this child, for example, gets a mother with a skin vector, who will think that he is too slow, and she has a constant desire to hurry him up, problems cannot be avoided.
A classic example: a child with an anal vector takes bowel cleansing very seriously. Such a child can sit on the potty for a long time. If the child is pulled from the pot (and skin parents do), this will gradually lead to the development of uncontrolled compression of the anal sphincter (constipation). Such an impact drives him into stress, deprives him of a sense of security. Interruption and any haste knock him out of the rut, out of his rhythm of life. Under such conditions, the compression spreads to other sphincters, eventually reaching the throat - and the child begins to stutter.
If such a child talks about something, asks a question, shows any speech activity, then he does it in detail, speaks slowly, goes into details that, as it may seem to a person with a skin vector, are not at all important.
For example, a child addresses his mother:
- Mom, I have a question for you. I was at my grandmother's today and watched TV. There was a program about animals, they ran, jumped and chased each other there. One wolf had a wolf cub, so small and fluffy. And so they lived there, in the forest, and there were still many wolves around, and one day they were hunting, and the wolf cub saw …
He has already said a lot, but there is still no question. Mom, who does not understand the characteristics of the child, will definitely hurry him up. She would be more satisfied with a question like: "Mom, do lizards fly?"
- Come on already, what kind of question?
But he must not be rushed or interrupted. He will go astray, try to start over. He will be interrupted again … This is one of the situations that leads to problems with speech. But this happens at every step. They rush him, but he is stubborn, trying to do everything the way he wants. And not just want to, but it is necessary for normal health, for normal development.
If we talk about me, then in my case there was no particularly harsh "flickering" on the part of my parents, but when I started school I was often rushed. For example, I did not tie the laces very quickly. I was in no hurry to get ready for school. I have described the results of even such a small deviation above.
A deep understanding of the cause of stuttering relieved the tension, the problem disappeared. At the training "System-vector psychology" one of the first was a lecture on the anal vector. After the first lesson, it became easier for me in problem situations, but the second type of stuttering did not give up until a certain moment.
Oral vector and stuttering
Stuttering with repeated repetition of any sounds is typical for representatives of the oral vector. Their erogenous zone is the mouth, lips. They talk a lot and with pleasure. They chatter incessantly. They love to write fantastic stories, whatever, just to be listened to. They make a children's collective with scary stories if they feel that this will ensure the attention of other children. They fall asleep with questions from mothers and grandmothers if they feel that they can answer. Or when no one is listening at all, they begin to invent something completely unrealistic, but attracting the attention of other people.
A child with an oral vector does not feel that he is, in essence, lying, telling stories. When did his stories ("Mom, mom, there was something lurking in the barn, let's go and see, I noticed it long ago, it can get out at night, eat all the rabbits, let's go, it wanted to take me away too, let's drive it out …") take an unacceptable, in the opinion of the surrounding adults, scale, he can be punished in a very special way for this. To put on the lips, simply put.
For an oral, this is the worst stress. His most sensitive erogenous zone is being terribly affected. The result is an inability to speak normally.
At the training, they talked about the mechanism of stuttering formation in representatives of the oral vector. This was enough for me to recall a single episode when I got it on my lips like this for lying. In early childhood. The episode was forgotten, but the stutter remained. Several vectors can be combined in one person, in my case, among others, anal and oral vectors are manifested. The result of mistakes in upbringing, seemingly small, but in fact leading to serious consequences, was stuttering. It was possible to overcome it only after the training "System-vector psychology" by Yuri Burlan.
