How to make yourself work
In this article, we will not discuss ways of forcing yourself to work. Those who have already tried them know that they work poorly and for a short time. For a while, you can engage in self-deception - for example, breaking one big thing into small, simple tasks. Well, and gradually, little by little depressingly, picking at it … But very quickly, hands cease to rise even for such meager things …
Eh, you are my work, a worker, a nurse-mother! How much I have connected with you. Paralysis of the sofa-seat type, for example: when you would work with all your soul, but you can't tear the seat from the sofa. Or here is the weakness of the upper limbs - a mouse with a keyboard and those from the hands roll. In short, now I will only wipe my tears - and I will immediately go to work, my beloved, beloved …
And then there was a surprise: my feet were rooted to the spot. How to make yourself move? Remember, there was a quick-witted girl Alice in Wonderland, and so she thought of writing letters and sending parcels to her feet. Maybe try? However, the correspondence runs the risk of dragging on. Too many addressees: legs, arms, fifth point, and in fact also a head … What to do, to persuade everyone in turn?
Why can't I force myself to work?
In this article, we will not discuss ways of forcing yourself to work. Those who have already tried them know that they work poorly and for a short time. For a while, you can engage in self-deception - for example, breaking one big thing into small, simple tasks. Well, and gradually, little by little depressingly, picking at it … But very quickly, hands cease to rise even for such scanty things.
It is generally better to forget about the advice of dubious psychologists to please yourself with sweets and other "niceties" for the successfully tortured half hour of work! A couple of days of such self-training - and you don't want any bonuses.
Let's go straight to the cause of the problem, namely, why can't you force yourself to do what you don't want to do?
Our desires and unwillingness, "I want" and "I do not want" refer to the area of the unconscious. And attempts to influence them - to the conscious efforts of the will. Nothing happens simply because our unconscious is not subject to conscious attitudes.
But there is a working way: to reveal those unconscious reasons why you are turned away from work. Usually they are connected with the fact that other, truly secret desires of the heart are not satisfied. As soon as you realize them and realize them, life begins to bring joy and inspiration. And the desire to do something, to create comes naturally. The easiest way to see this is through concrete examples from life.
Story # 1. How to force yourself to do work if there is a lot to do at home
Nice young woman, married. Higher education, no children. She complains that she has been unable to find a job for two years. And the one is not good for her, and the other is not suitable. And in general, how to go to work, if there are already plenty of things to do? The house is big, you need to take care of it for days, cleaning and cooking take a lot of time. Yes, and it is a pity to leave two dogs alone for the whole day - they will be lonely … But there is also an understanding that it is difficult for a husband to pull the whole family alone: one of the cars is on credit, his salary is not enough. What to do?
In fact, this woman has no desire to force herself to go to work somewhere in the office, God forbid, even for a full day. Due to the innate properties of the psyche, a businesswoman will never leave her. There are simply women who are by nature ideal housewives, wives and mothers. And best of all they realize themselves in this role.
But there is another side of the coin: the ideal wife wants to share equally with her husband the care of the family. To facilitate his work, to help, to be a companion to him. When this desire is not realized, there is a feeling of guilt towards the husband, a feeling that she has not given him and the family. This pushes to look for a job in order to align, to rectify the situation.
But in reality, self-sabotage comes out. I don't want to go to the office, and my mind comes up with a thousand explanations and excuses why the next version of the work is worthless. Where is the exit?
Homework is best suited for such a woman so that she does not have to leave her native nest for a long time. The ideal option is if she succeeds in contributing to her husband's work: perhaps doing some of the work for him on the home computer. She herself will do such work with great joy and enthusiasm, and she will no longer have to puzzle over how to make herself work.
The main thing is to find such a point of application of efforts that will maximally meet all the properties of the psyche that are set by nature. For example, one will perfectly cope with accounting work at home, the other will be able to perfectly carry out design projects, the third will perfectly do the advertising promotion of her husband's business on social networks. To make the right choice, it is important to know exactly what properties nature has endowed you with.
Story number 2. What is the point of working, if not for whom?.
Middle aged man. Successful businessman. He says that he has lost his heart and does not want to do anything. Before describing the problems with work, he shares personal details for a long time. Two failed marriages, two divorces - one harder than the other. It was hard to get out of the first relationship, it took a long time to restore strength and a desire to build something with someone. And after the second - everything became completely indifferent. The money that I managed to earn and save is gradually melting, there are enough job offers, but my hands are not raised for anything.
Do they need advice on how to get themselves to work? Not at all. He lost exactly what he wanted to work for, to achieve something in life and to have a high income. Namely, the family. There are people for whom family and children are the highest values in life. Not for himself, such a man "hunched over", but in order to have something to leave the children. To have a house - a full bowl, so that the wife is proud of him. And if now there is no one to do all this for?
Behind the question about work hides a completely different, real, sincere question from the heart: why did my family collapse again? How do you try to build something again with someone now? These are the questions that need to be answered with the help of psychological knowledge. When you manage to get answers and restore relationships or build new ones on a stable, stable basis, the zeal for work will return to such a man by itself.
Those for whom family is the main value, are naturally loyal people, it is difficult for them to look for a new partner. Yes, and difficult, traumatic experiences are often generalized and transferred to other potential partners. And already a person treats any chance to establish a personal life with distrust. It is possible to unravel this tangle at the training "System-vector psychology" by Yuri Burlan.
Story number 3. How to force yourself to do something if nothing makes sense
Young guy, programmer. She complains that lately, sitting down to work, she cannot give out a single line. He just sits to the music, but the work does not go.
There are people who not only work, but generally do not want to live, if there is no clear understanding of why all this is needed. When over and over again the feeling that life is like a groundhog day and there is no sense in anything, gradually comes a heavy apathy. It is felt almost physically: a concrete slab on the shoulders, a black hole and an emptiness in the soul.
People with such a psyche are not happy with what brings happiness to others: money, relationships, family and children. The deep desire of the soul - to live meaningfully, to understand why you are - is not always even realized. It's just that some kind of dissatisfaction, melancholy, “fonites”. Over time, it fills the whole soul, life becomes unbearable, even thoughts of suicide flicker. What to do?
Such a person can realize the innermost desire of the soul through the knowledge of the metaphysical structure of the world. Disclosure of the causes and effects of the observed events: both in their own destiny and in global processes. Only when the desire for knowledge is realized - color and sound, taste and meaning return to life. And energy appears, pushing to work with joy and pleasure.
For some time, such people are carried away by esotericism and philosophy, music brings endowment, but when no intelligible answers about life are found, depression rolls over, and each time it is more and more difficult. The only subject of cognition that can captivate the owner of such a psyche for a long time is the very structure of the eight-dimensional matrix of the psychic. After all, it is - the metaphysical basis of the observed events.
Story number 4. One for all
Today, there are many people around in difficult conditions: offended and aggressive, sad and irritable. And we pick up bad conditions. This can also be one of the reasons why you don't really want to go to work.
For example, you have a sensitive hearing and it jars even just from impoliteness - and there your colleagues scream obscenities. You are a delicate, sincere person - and there is rudeness, cruelty or indifference around. And it turns out, even if heaven is at home and you left there in an ideal mood - by the evening you don't want anything. Withstanding the pressures of society when people around you are not in the best condition, and at the same time maintaining your own well-being is not easy. Requires psychological intelligence.
Or, maybe you just chose the profession "uncomfortable". For example, to please parents or simply because society has imposed a "fashion trend". But the result is no easier than in other cases. A person just suffers for years as a sales manager, and from him, for example, an inspired designer would leave!
There are many stories - one background
Each life is a special story. What is yours about? What desires of the heart, not being realized year after year, take away the strength and zeal to live and create? What circumstances create chronic stress in which you simply do not work?
Summary: behind every “I don’t want to work” there is an imperceptible background of those unsatisfied desires that can reveal your incredible energy to live and act. And if forces are taken away by external stress, then, having learned to adapt it without harming yourself, you will return back the lion's share of the energy that goes into emptiness.
To reveal your desires, to understand why they are not being realized, to correct the situation and to realize yourself with joy and pleasure in any external environment is the only way to be active for many years. The first discoveries for yourself can be made at the free online training "System-vector psychology" by Yuri Burlan:
Thousands of people have already left the results of how this knowledge allows them to reveal incredible energy, desire to live and work.