About love: without fear and reproach
“Mommy, don't turn off the light, I'm scared …” - this is how the fear of the dark reveals itself, the primal horror of the opportunity to miss the approaching threat, endanger the flock and perish under the sharp fangs of an insatiable wild animal…
The entire palette of feelings experienced throughout our lives directly depends on how much we were able to develop and cultivate the ability to experience them, whether we learned to adapt them to the requirements of the surrounding landscape, and whether they turned out to be acceptable in the social environment that we would like relate yourself. The love library will shed light on the most intimate feeling that a person can experience.
Does relationship psychology somehow define the feeling of love? The feeling of love is not a one-dimensional phenomenon, and it does not arise by itself, does not develop by itself. Love is the upper pole of the emotional amplitude of the visual vector, its maximum point; this feeling is not primary, and in order to experience it, you need to create certain circumstances in your life, to prepare a fertile ground conducive to the manifestation and maintenance of a love feeling in yourself. But even this is possible only if and to the extent that we have developed in the period before puberty.
At the opposite - lower - pole of the visual emotional amplitude, there is a feeling of fear, to one degree or another experienced by any visual person. Fear is an archetypal manifestation: in a primitive flock, timely fear was the guarantor of the flock's survival, salvation from impending danger.
The meaning of love and empathy is in overcoming your fear, bringing out a huge emotional amplitude. In a rough approximation, love can be called the highest form of adaptation of the visual person at the present time.
Today any child is born as an archetypal carrier of his inherent species role. Before puberty, he must learn to adapt and adapt it to conditions that have changed over many thousands of years. And the visual child is no exception.
"Mommy, don't turn off the light, I'm scared …" - this is how the fear of the dark reveals itself, the primal horror of the opportunity to miss the approaching threat, endanger the flock and perish under the sharp fangs of an insatiable wild beast. "The curtains sway so alarmingly in the wind, a black spot stands out threateningly on a black wall, in the darkness …" - only a visual person is able to distinguish four hundred shades of black! … he closes his eyes, turns away from what frightens, and still cannot calm down to the end, because he has already shaken himself with fear …
The more a person's temperament, the more various emotions are required for a feeling of satisfaction, filling in the visual vector.
It is visual children who like to lock themselves in a dark shed, closet, climb into the old attic and tell each other scary stories about ghosts, about vampires, about cemeteries and death. So they create an atmosphere of fear and at the same time, in this emotional buildup, they experience a feeling of joy. It can remain an innocent child's play and eventually go away forever; but later, with insufficient development of sensuality in the visual vector, it can develop into fixation on fear in adulthood.
Fear for herself and her life and the desire to survive is primarily expressed in the desire to demonstrate herself - in primitive times, the visual girl adorned herself with beads, earrings, flowers. So she was noticeable, always in plain sight, so that she was caught in time and dragged away from danger, not forgotten, not trampled. And in modern civilization, a spectator who remains in this fear demonstrates himself on the podium or dances in clubs; and in a state of unrealization, he becomes a hysterical personality: “Why don't they notice me, don't appreciate me, I do everything for everyone, but they don't see me, don't love me, how do I deserve it?..” These are the tendencies of an underdeveloped visual vector. Male psychology here is similar to female psychology: they do not find themselves in love, fears and emotional blackmail become the main content, which brings others to emotional exhaustion.Such a person simply did not learn to attract attention in other, more suitable ways, having lost the main happiness of the visual vector, the meaning of his life, concluded in love.
The most important task of the parent of a visual child is to direct him to bring fear out, out. To teach him to feel not just “I am afraid, and I bare my body so that all eyes are directed at me”, but “I am afraid and therefore I promote the ideas of culture, morality, I try to instill in others an understanding of the value of life, the need to preserve it. Not my private, petty, but Life as a whole, for everyone …"
That is why it is important to teach a visual child from childhood to read correct fairy tales, pushing him to compassion, empathy, empathy. “Don't pick the flower, it hurts! Why do you throw the doll on the floor, it can hit and cry!”- the visual child takes to heart the pain and injuries of living beings significant to him, and he revives everything around. For them, the wardrobe creaks the door as if it were alive, and the dolls come to life at night … “And if you peep furtively, without moving, holding your breath, you can almost see this secret life of things, but it's difficult, because they are very fast, they are afraid of who - then he will find out what they are doing in the absence of their masters!"
The creation of an emotional connection is an extremely important element of the upbringing of a visual child, in such a connection he feels his safety, protection from a strong and close person. If the experience of such a connection was not in childhood, then the person enters adulthood, incapable of long-term emotional attachment. The time comes for the first fall in love, a young man has a need for love and relationships with the opposite sex, and suddenly it turns out that he cannot keep a love feeling on one object for a long time. The psychology of men in love, when it comes to an underdeveloped visual vector, lies in his multiple loves, fleeting and superficial. Only the incipient emotional connection is rapidly weakening, thinning and becoming obsolete, spreading from object to object.Such throwing causes a lot of discomfort, especially in the presence of a powerful libido, provided by the lower vectors, but not accustomed to such a violent spread. Male psychology in love, in the main manifestations of the visual vector, does not differ from female psychology.
If in childhood there is a breakdown of a significant emotional connection - the death of a beloved animal, then vision can go negative: the first blow is always on the sensor. Read more about this in the article "Emotional connection with animals".
Before puberty, a child, in the absence of a trusting relationship with his parents, may fall in love with teachers, with characters in books or films, with heroes of his own dreams. But if the right direction was given, then the child himself will already look for workarounds for the development of his feelings, when direct ones are not provided: because the pleasure of love and empathy is many times stronger than filling through fear, and once having experienced it, give up in favor of the latter is no longer possible.
With the onset of puberty, the direct implementation of the acquired ability to experience emotions begins. Visual love is not at all involved with the sexual, it is an airy, euphoric experience cut off from everything earthly, often built on fantasies, dreams and an ideal idea of the chosen object of love, which often has little to do with reality. Up to a certain point, the imagination feeds a love feeling, but once this becomes not enough, the feeling should be mutual at least at the minimum level. How to find your soul mate? It is extremely important for a visual person to be able to share their feelings with a loved one, so if you are looking for emotional interpenetration, then you need to keep in mind that only a person with a developed visual vector can respond in the same way.
On the other hand, it is important to be aware of where and why to apply even the most developed visual sense - after all, it is not always appropriate. Fall in love, fall into emotional dependence in order to plunge into the abyss of silent suffering from sad love without an answer … or find a true life partner with whom love and full-fledged relationships are possible, who is able to sincerely share your feelings and aspirations! The psychology of men in love, like women, is the same manifestation of the visual vector. Without it, a person perceives a relationship with a partner in a completely different way, only calling his feelings love, but not experiencing this all-consuming feeling of love euphoria.
It depends only on us how we will use our potential, what we will direct it to. A woman may have enough love in a couple, but the psychology of men in love is generally more complex, the first place in the hierarchy of their values is occupied by social realization. If even the smallest handfuls of fear remain, it only means that we do not emasculate ourselves in love, in compassion, that we can do more and brighter! Under stress or the absence of favorable circumstances, the visual person begins to feel pressure on his archetypal properties and easily slides into a state of fear, however, the more developed he is, the more resistant he is to pressure.
A developed and realized visual person does not have energy and strength left for hysterics, swinging in fear, such a person, it would seem, is not afraid of anything. But in fact, he only uses his temperament one hundred percent, and each of us, if he is the bearer of the visual vector, can achieve the same. It is enough to know the natural roots of your emotional experiences, the potential inherent in them and understand how and what to direct it, and the fate of love will not be sad. The library about love from system-vector psychology will reveal to you all the secrets of this extraordinary and beautiful feeling.