Ideal or not. Why am I putting things off until later?
How to stop procrastinating for later? How to stop blaming yourself? And what if you are a perfectionist?
We often hear this phrase: "Why are you messing around? And so it will do!" This phrase hurts the ear, causes internal discomfort and indignation. How can you do something somehow? It seems that you will cease to respect yourself if you allow this! Everything should be neat, clean. We must do it, and then double-check ourselves, so that no mistakes come out.
But when you double-check yourself several times, then you can show people. And so in everything.
Unfortunately, it is not always possible to do something perfectly. And then you suffer for a long time from the feeling of your own curvature. Sometimes you know in advance that you will not succeed. And then you put it off until the last, just not to do it, just not to disgrace yourself. But circumstances are compelling. And at the last moment, you try your best, but you don't manage to do anything. And you blame yourself even more for the fact that you failed again.
Life under the pressure of circumstances
The modern world sets a time frame in which we must fit at work, in school and even in our personal life. Feeling that we will not be able to do it perfectly in the available time, we often do nothing at all, because we live by the rule "do it right - or do not do it at all." This is how we miss career opportunities, give up positions in our personal life, and refuse to realize our desires.
Sometimes, we postpone things "for later", "for tomorrow", "for Monday", expecting a more favorable environment for undertakings. Sometimes we go too deep into details, we break everything almost into atoms - and we fall into a stupor from the scale of the work that we have invented for ourselves.
How to stop procrastinating for later? How to stop blaming yourself? And what if you are a perfectionist?
Everything should be perfect
To answer all these questions, let us turn to the System-Vector Psychology of Yuri Burlan.
The basis of system-vector psychology is the recognition of people by innate properties and characteristics of the psyche - vectors. There are 8 vectors: muscle, urethral, cutaneous, anal, visual, sound, oral, and olfactory.
The desire to do everything perfectly is not for everyone, but only for 20% of people. Perfectionism is a characteristic trait of people with an anal vector. They are real professionals in their field who strive to bring everything to perfection. We have no equal when it is necessary to deeply understand some complex issue.
With an analytical mind, we are very attentive to detail. For us, "the devil is in the little things." It is this increased attention to detail that allows us to find the slightest mistake where the other person will miss it.
The need to follow through
Slow, but thorough, we are not able to quickly switch from one activity to another. It is extremely important for us to bring one thing to the end first, and then start another. And it doesn't matter at all - whether it will be some trifle or the work of a lifetime.
Set to work - bring it to the end. For us, “to the end” means perfect in every way. We project every element of the work onto the result: some little thing is done poorly - everything is done poorly. We are demanding of ourselves - we are ready to sacrifice free time, material resources, health in order to be the best in our field of activity. They say about us: "They put their soul into work."
Nothing can compare with the feeling of completion, inner comfort that we experience when we achieve a goal, a result. We are admired, respected and appreciated. Let us do everything a little longer, but such is the price of the quality of our work.
Experience is the son of difficult mistakes
Our values are directed to the past - we honor the traditions and experience of previous generations. This helps to accumulate various kinds of information and transmit it over time. And there is such a need for the anal vector - such people become teachers, writers, historians. We also remember the bad moments of our life. It happens that we get burned - and we no longer walk these paths. We are suspicious of the new - trust still needs to be earned.
We love straight lines, geometric shapes close to a square. We love when everything is smooth, from the picture hanging over our sofa to our relationships with people. Only a person with an anal vector can be a good friend - honest, loyal and just. We take offense when we feel we have been treated unfairly. We feel guilty if we undeservedly hurt another person. For us it is like “curving” a square.
We constantly return to these "distortions" and get stuck in the past, so we cannot start a new one. If we do not find adequate ways to remove the indignation accumulated in the soul, we do it with “dirty tricks” - we take revenge, even physical violence, and denigrate the culprit of our suffering.
The thing is that we have a good memory from birth. This memory is exactly what is needed to pass on your experience to others. As a first-class specialist, to help the growing generation to improve. And we misdirect our memory - we get stuck in grievances and putting things off for later.
Inside - perfectionists, outside - procrastinators
We think in terms of “clean-dirty”. How correctly we operate with these concepts depends on the experience gained in childhood. In the first years of life, when the anal baby learns to understand his body, the desire for cleanliness manifests itself in him as a detailed act of defecation. These children love to sit on the potty. If for some reason he cannot complete what he started, he endures, and then he does it through physical suffering. A negative experience is formed - relief through pain.
The same thing happens at the level of the psyche. Realizing the importance of current affairs, we ignore them, instead doing stupid things, some minor trifles. And when life begins to demand results from us, we in a hurry, with a delay, do something "somehow". We do it through shame, a tormenting feeling of guilt for ourselves. And as a result of our work, instead of pleasure, we get relief.
Inside - perfectionists, outside - procrastinators, we do not live life - we put it off "for later."
There is a solution to this problem. By understanding the innate properties of our psyche, being aware of our desires, listening to ourselves, we become able to build actions in accordance with our inner values. Contradictions disappear, there is a desire to live and do it with dignity.
Already at the first free lectures on system-vector psychology by Yuri Burlan, you will learn a lot about the anal vector, its properties and ways of implementation. Register here:
