The pleasure principle. First giving, then receiving
Each of us wants to be happy, and the degree of our happiness is determined by what and to what extent we got according to our expectations: happy couples, obedient children, high salaries, career, status in society, and so on. We expect that we will receive all this simply for the fact that we, so good and unique, deserve it, but life is somehow in no hurry to give us happiness.
“Man - I want it and not,” says Yuri Burlan's System-Vector Psychology. In order to develop, a person has a ban on directly receiving anything for his own sake, but it is hidden from us. Not suspecting anything, we are banging against the wall of circumstances to get what we want, but our dissatisfaction only grows.
As Yuri Burlan's System-Vector Psychology explains, when we want to get something for ourselves, it seems to us that we are ready to absorb the whole world. However, it is not. Our reception into ourselves is always limited by the volume of the physical body. Put a stick of sausage in your mouth - please, but three is not very good, a dozen sticks can even be fatal.
The very process of receiving directly is contrary to our nature. Remember how you feel when you are given something for no reason - you do not want to take, without giving anything in return, you feel ashamed.
So what's the secret to getting it? In receiving, not for oneself, but for the sake of bestowal … For what kind of bestowal? Why on earth would I give something back? The century of consumption is in the yard, and you are talking to me about some kind of return! However, the basic laws of the unconscious are the same in the Stone Age and in the Age of Consumption, therefore, in order to meet fewer obstacles on the path to happiness, it is worth understanding how this mechanism works.
The mechanism of receiving for the sake of giving is well observed in nature. An early woman has intercourse with a man, receives ejaculate from him, only for the sake of procreation. An early man goes hunting and obtains food not for his own sake, but in order to give it to a woman and be able to continue himself in time. Giving and receiving are two in one for everyone. And if we lose one element, the system breaks down, and the second inevitably disappears.
Yuri Burlan's system-vector psychology explains a simple law: as soon as we stop giving, we stop filling our innate desires, and we feel bad.
What is recoil and how to apply it
As the SVP says, a person is a social being. There is no separate meaning of life for everyone, there is a meaning and task of the life of the whole society. To implement this meaning and task, each of us by nature has a role to play, and by realizing it, we become happy. Return is our actions to preserve and develop a social form of life: our contribution to the common cause, our work, our work, our activities, our creation not for ourselves personally, but for people, for society.
Due to the fact that the true background of our actions is hidden from us, by giving we often mean something different from what nature had in mind. The return is not "like work", not sitting out in the gallery at the expense of the strong, not building a chain of actions in our head that we will do sometime later and the whole world finally recognizes our uniqueness, but the real investment of our skills and abilities in the life of society …
Let's look at examples with different people. System-vector psychology divides people according to their mental properties into eight vectors: skin, anal, sound, visual and others. For example, when a person with a skin vector applies his unique logical intelligence and desire to save resources in the right way, he creates unique technologies that make life easier for the whole society. When a person with an anal vector works as a teacher, he realizes his unique analytical mind and an innate desire to pass on knowledge to future generations, and thereby enables the entire society not to start from scratch every time, but to use the developments of ancestors. In return, a dermal person receives a monetary assessment of his efforts, status in society, a person with an anal vector - honor and respect. This is the realization of the principle of receiving through bestowal.
Direct receipt is always scanty and wretched. So, the owner of the anal vector can be engaged in collecting knowledge, but without using it for the benefit of society - without transferring this knowledge to future generations - this is an empty exercise. Instead of learning, he can engage in teaching: "poke his muzzle" at home on trifles in full confidence that he is teaching them "the bed was made wrong, the linen was not hung up, and in general everything is at random!" A person with a skin vector can engage in direct economy in himself - to wander through the trash heaps and collect any "necessary" trash. This activity will never give the pleasure that the realization of oneself can give for the benefit of society.
A person is a part of society, not a part of a person. Ignorance of the laws does not absolve from responsibility, that is, they do not cease to influence us. We can think of ourselves as smart people as much as we want and feel that we are deprived and not appreciated. Deprivation and incomprehension is the first sign that our actions run counter to the unconscious laws of social life.
Feeling happy as a reward for your efforts
When everything falls out of the sky just like that: because we are the children of influential parents, because we have a rich husband or wife, because we are someone's protege and we are promoted up the career ladder, then it often does not suit us for the future, and we are unable to appreciate the fullness of the joy of the position. The situation is completely different when we have achieved everything ourselves: we know for sure that we are worth something in this life, and even if we fell, we know that only our actions will lift us. Living the states of realization of our innate properties and desires, we strive to experience it again and again, because it is pleasant for us, in this we feel the taste of life.
When we make efforts to bestow by action - by our work, by our activities, an inner justification of receiving occurs: I am not ashamed to receive, because I have invested my strength in this business, and this is the result of my labor recognized by people. The barrier to internal contradiction in receipt is removed, the prohibition on direct receipt is not violated, and we can receive unlimitedly. And if the result is not recognized by people, for whom am I doing all this? It is impossible to give to oneself.
Our psyche is a kind of vessel, a container for filling. As soon as we emptied it a little, that is, we gave outward, a new volume appeared for receiving. A bucket of water cannot fit into a full glass, and if you drink as needed, the tank will be small for a drinker from a glass. Demanding surrender from others to oneself and not committing surrender from oneself, a person becomes like a musty swamp instead of turning his vessel into a mountain stream: there is no change of states from lack to filling, which means there is no creation and development.
The properties and desires of each of us make up a harmonious system of social structure. Engaging in activities according to our innate desires, we realize ourselves for the purpose of preserving and developing society, which is a return for us, such a return ultimately brings us real pleasure from life.
What's the bottom line? What is happiness?
The consumer society dictates to us the stereotyped categories of happiness - the desire to be richer, to earn more money, to consume as much as possible in oneself: “eat, drink, chew orbits”! As we consume endless entertainment, we increasingly feel frustrated with life.
When we blame other people for our dissatisfaction, we throw off responsibility for life and shift it onto others, demand from others to make us happy. When we take responsibility for our life upon ourselves, we understand that no one will bring us anything on a silver platter for the fact that we are in this world, but only our actions will provide us with a place in society and enjoyment.
The mechanism of the relationship between receiving and giving often looks like a shape-shifter to us. We want to receive and this is natural. And we often don’t think about the need for bestowal.
As you can see, the trick is simple: by giving, we receive twice - a taste for life while realizing our innate properties and our daily bread. Without giving, we do not receive anything.
The system-vector psychology of Yuri Burlan allows us to realize different properties of the psyche of people, and it is easy to identify for ourselves the aspects of applying our properties to the needs of society, as well as to track the moment of switching from receiving for ourselves to giving for the sake of receiving.
You can get an initial knowledge of how to find a balance between receiving and giving, which means how to feel more joy and happiness from life, at free online lectures on systemic vector psychology. Registration by link: