Why I have a special child
And one doctor, having looked at the results of MRI, EEG, and said:
- There is a house, but no one lives in it.
Hinted that the brain is in order, but mental ability is zero. It was very painful to hear … I did not believe them. They all deceived me, my child cannot be mentally retarded. It is not true!!!
How many times have I asked myself why I have a special child? - already not to count. Why me?.. Why should I be cut off from the world and not be able to communicate with people because of the inadequacy of my child? Why have tantrums become my everyday life? Where to get the strength so as not to go crazy? How to live on with all these thoughts? What to do with a special child?
Kindergarten Classes
My daughter was taken to kindergarten for a maximum of three hours. The teachers did not have enough patience and strength to communicate with her. After all, all their attention was taken by my child, and there was no time for the other children.
Creative works of kids were hung on the stand: drawings, applications, plasticine figurines. And I did not find my child's handicrafts, and it would be very strange and amazing to see them. After all, she refused to even try to do anything.
Educators say that a child should be able at this age to paint, sculpt, cut, etc. And I listen, and tears come to my eyes. I just want to run away, hide from everyone and cry, cry bitterly, in a voice and so that no one touches at least at this moment. How do you want to be alone in peace and quiet …
It was very painful and scary when I heard from a psychiatrist the diagnosis of my child - autism spectrum disorder. At that moment my life, my picture of the future, my dreams collapsed. All…
My fantasies and expectations will never become reality. My child is not what I imagined him to be. There was an even greater desire to escape … From the child, from problems, from the terrible future that awaits me and my child. I didn't want to see what it would be like.
Comments from others
You walk in the playground. All children are like children. And mine … Constantly runs, falls to the ground in hysterics, climbs trees, takes toys from everyone, fights, runs out onto the road. How can you walk with her?..
On trains he either runs down the aisle or walks around screaming. How can you go somewhere with her?..
How do I respond to criticism from others when they constantly express dissatisfaction with my child's behavior? All that remains is to shut yourself up in four walls and quietly hate your daughter for ruined happiness.
Advice from psychiatrists and psychologists
Passed many rooms of neurologists, psychiatrists, psychologists, neuropsychologists, speech therapists-defectologists. There are many recommendations, advice, treatment prescriptions. And the worst thing is that no one gives even the slightest hope that everything will work out, that everything will be fine. They do not even give the feeling that we have a chance for a happy future. Sometimes, on the contrary, they mentally prepare for the terrible….
And one doctor, having looked at the results of MRI, EEG, said so:
- There is a house, but no one lives in it.
Hinted that the brain is in order, but mental ability is zero. It was very painful to hear … I did not believe them. They all deceived me, my child cannot be mentally retarded. It is not true!!!
Adopt your child
There is a saying: "God gives us only those tests that we are able to withstand." Good words, because you can write in them that God gave me such a child, knowing in advance that I can handle it. It turns out that I am not responsible for what is happening, for the future of my daughter. It was someone from above who decided to give me such a test, and from there, above, someday they will decide to cancel it … or not. And all I can do is accept my child as he is, come to terms, relieve his pain. Get rid of the urge to run away from her. Letting go of the thought that I am a terrible mother, unable to cope with my own child. This is a wonderful decision, but, unfortunately, it does not lead to positive dynamics of the child's recovery.
Change yourself
But I did come across good advice. One of these tips is to change yourself. The advice is really great! Just how to do it? What exactly needs to be changed in yourself? It is completely incomprehensible …
What to change
When I got to the training "System-vector psychology" by Yuri Burlan, I realized how strongly the child is connected with his mother. Until the age of six they are one whole, but then this connection continues. The child feels the state of his mother: the mother feels bad - the baby unconsciously reads it. He is, as it were, immersed in the state of his mother and feels all her pain, and by hysterics or withdrawal in himself he tries to cope with the pain he receives from his mother.
How babies react to mom's stress
Each child is unique by nature and has its own psychological characteristics - vectors. And when mom is stressed, children with different vectors react differently.
- If a child has a visual vector, he can get a lot of ARVI or experience anxiety, fear.
- If the baby has a skin vector, be prepared for the diagnosis "hyperactive". Tics, irritability, restlessness, allergies and other skin conditions may appear.
- Owners of the anal vector may suffer from intestinal disorders, stuttering. Show aggression towards others.
- But it is precisely for children with a sound vector that the mother's unfavorable state (stress, anxiety, financial instability) can turn into a psychiatric diagnosis. The psyche is their vulnerability.
Watch the video about the causes of autism:
Why is my child “special”
At the training "System-Vector Psychology" I understood why my child was given a terrible diagnosis. Only children with a sound vector are sick with autism. Sound specialists have a very sensitive sensor - the ear. For them, the roar of the street, the clinking of dishes, the shouts and abuse of parents, a noisy vacuum cleaner is an intolerable pain. These children also have the most sensitive psyche.
The main cause of autism is sound vector injury. And since it is dominant, it affects the development of all other vectors given to the child at birth, and causes the occurrence of accompanying symptoms: hyperactivity, aggression, fears, hysteria and others.
Why do I have
I found the key to solving and recovering my child at the training "System-vector psychology" by Yuri Burlan and used it.
At the lectures, I realized the psyche of my child. I found out why I have a special child, and understood how and what I need to change in myself so that we both have a future. I no longer feel the desire to run away from my daughter, I do not feel pain and fear for her and my life. Now I know that my child is really special, but with a different, very pleasant sense of the word …
Children with a sound vector are naturally assigned the highest intelligence. They need more time than others to develop such a volume of intelligence and psyche. The diagnosis "special" is not a sentence, but, on the contrary, an opportunity to grow a genius. The training gave me not only hope for a full-fledged future for my daughter, it gave me confidence in this!
Before and after
After the training, the daughter became calm.
Previously, leaving her in a room alone for five minutes, one could find her daughter swinging on a chandelier in a destroyed room. It would be okay. Now you can leave her in the room alone and, returning, see a new drawing or plasticine craft.
Before the training, my daughter did not respond to requests and questions. Now she can not only show where a certain animal is, but also imitate sounds. For example, "Show me where the pussy is." Shows and says "meow". She finally hears, listens, understands the question and answers it!
Our first results are written in my review … And this is just the beginning …
How to proceed
- Any noise, loud sounds cause severe pain to the sound child. It is necessary to create an ecology of silence in the house.
- A child with a sensitive receptivity to sounds very subtly understands the meanings of the words that he hears. Do not swear in front of him and do not insult him.
- Do not give up and do not entrust the responsibility for your child to chance, fate.
- It is necessary to understand that, no matter how hard it is for mom, it is even harder for the sound engineer … Mom is all that he has. She is his connection with the outside world. His life, his psyche are in her hands.
- Prevent the baby from feeling the stress of the mom.
It is important that the mother herself comes to a good psychological state, first she helps herself, and then her child.
You can get your first results already at the free online lectures of the training "System-vector psychology" by Yuri Burlan.
Hear what “special moms” have to say about their children's results after the training:
