How not to feel like a trapped horse, to stay active and cheerful Part 1
You can feel like a victim of circumstances or blame others, but more often than not, the cause of overload is hidden in ourselves. Of course, there is no single recipe for all occasions. Let's look at how we tend to bring ourselves to the state of a trapped horse, and outline options for solving the problem …
Every day is an endless cycle of affairs. It seems that I am about to do it - and it will be possible to relax, rest. But as soon as you finish one thing, three more come in. You feel like a squeezed lemon. And you think: “Why all this? Is it possible to redo all these matters? Will it ever end ?!"
And you seem to understand that you need to change something in life. But what if everything seems important and necessary and it is impossible to give up anything? And the commonplace "relax, love yourself" does not work. Entertainment, massages, a warm foam bath do not save you from overload, they only increase the number of things to do, because while you relax, things accumulate. In addition, a sense of guilt is often added.
Family, work - all this is needed, for this you live. How to cope with the load in order to keep up with everything and not feel like a driven horse, while still enjoying an active life?
You can feel like a victim of circumstances or blame others, but more often than not, the cause of overload is hidden in ourselves. Of course, there is no single recipe for all occasions. Let's take a look at how we tend to bring ourselves to the state of a driven horse, and outline options for solving the problem. For this we use the knowledge that Yuri Burlan's training in System-Vector Psychology gives.
Try to recognize yourself or someone you know in one of the descriptions.
Reliable: "Everything for the people"
People around can use the reliability of a person, the inability to say a firm "No!" and overwhelm him with requests and instructions. He is not able to refuse, even when he strongly does not want to do something. This is used by friends, colleagues and relatives. Sometimes they may not even be aware of the true desires of such a person, regarding his consent as a sincere desire to help. This is a huge problem for people with anal-visual vector combinations.
Sometimes it is even a complex - a good boy or a girl, which is described in the training System-vector psychology. Since childhood, an obedient anal-visual child loves to be praised, and some mothers actively use this: "If you do this for me, I will praise, I will love." As an adult, he will struggle to earn praise and gratitude, fulfilling the desires of other people, like the hero of the film "Autumn Marathon". And they will manipulate this person, using his kindness and gentleness.
Solution: being aware of your properties, your scenario and its reasons helps to learn to say "No!" … And also - the understanding that by indulging the selfishness of other people, we create a bad fate for them. So hyper-caring anal-visual mothers pull their children on themselves until old age, and they remain infantile, incapable of a happy life.
Or when a trouble-free employee suddenly discovers that he has long been fulfilling not only his duties, but also those of his colleagues. Thus, he cultivates other people's laziness and irresponsibility, which means that he does not allow a person to develop, realize his abilities and be truly happy.
Unorganized: "An emergency, again an emergency …"
Our people love emergency work. This is considered a special heroism, a manifestation of fortitude - to work with the last bit of strength, without sleep, stimulating yourself with liters of coffee.
We often follow patterns of behavior that are not typical for us, we try to live like everyone else. This is especially evident in the conditions of the Russian collectivist and communal urethral-muscular mentality.
The owner of a developed skin vector plans his work rhythmically, evenly, in order to meet the deadline, without heroic efforts. He hates such an attitude to work and to his health. He prefers the economical and sensible use of energy and time. But it is impossible to evade a general rush job, because he is the same owner of a collectivist mentality and he is ashamed to break away from the team, to feel like a "weakling" and a "traitor."
But if the properties of the skin vector are not sufficiently developed, that is, a person cannot organize himself, correctly prioritize, he himself will be inclined to a ragged rhythm of work, preferring to do everything at the last moment. Then rushwork at work and in life will be a natural state for him.
Solution: to realize the mental characteristics of the people around, their properties and the degree of their development. Knowing what you are capable of opens up new possibilities. The realization that a rush job is not the most positive manifestation of urethral properties helps to organize your work correctly, not to depend on the moods of others. Planning your work, prioritizing, learning self-organization skills is useful not only for people with a skin vector.
Perfectionist and hyperresponsible: "Everything must be perfect or not."
These are the properties of a person with an anal vector, which is focused on high-quality, accurate performance of work, detailed study of any issue and elimination of errors. He wants to be the best at everything and do everything well.
Excessive perfectionism will manifest itself in the fact that it can make many unnecessary corrections, endlessly bring to the desired perfection where it is not required at all. When he could have stopped long ago, he cannot stop. Under tight deadlines, this kind of perfectionism can cause over-stress.
Responsibility is a very good quality, but with the prefix hyper it becomes unbearable for its owner. In this case, hyperresponsibility is based on fears: to be not good enough, perfect, the native fear of the anal vector - to be disgraced.
In the presence of a visual vector, it will also be a kind of anxiety, when it seems that if you do not do it perfectly, then something irreparable will happen. The visual vector with its irrepressible imagination paints terrible pictures of the consequences of unfulfilled work, unchecked promises: jail!.. beat!.. or even take life …
Solution: Yuri Burlan's system-vector psychology training helps to see both healthy manifestations of one's properties and imbalances in their implementation and direct them in the right direction. Understanding the causes of fear helps to get rid of numerous phobias.
Knowledge of the laws of the human psyche helps to correctly prioritize. And then it is much easier to give up what is less important. For example, a woman with an anal vector does not need to clean up the house every day so that everything sparkles and there is not a single speck of dust. It is better to devote more time to communication with your husband and raising children. This is a higher level of realization of its properties, which will give deeper satisfaction.
I drive myself, I don't have time for anything
This situation can be observed in the owner of the anal-cutaneous combination of vectors. The anal vector gives us the desire to do everything slowly, consistently and efficiently, which may conflict with the desire of the skin vector to do everything quickly with a focus on results.
Especially when a person is under stress, his flutter in the skin vector and the inability to concentrate on one task are amplified many times over. He grasps on several things at the same time, none of them can be completed, gets nervous, gives up, starts the next. The anal vector in such a situation reacts with a stupor. And there comes disappointment, disbelief in one's strength, complete inability to do anything at all.
Solution: the presence of these two vectors with completely opposite properties does not make a person's life easy, but it can make it multifaceted. Awareness of the opposite properties of the anal and cutaneous vectors helps to determine the cause of stress and correctly eliminate it. For example, correctly organize the change of periods of activity. In the anal vector, stress can arise from working in conditions of constant tight deadlines, abrupt changes in tasks, simply from a mess at the workplace. In the skin - from the threat of material loss, from monotonous work, or even from a long period of immobility. Once you understand the cause of the problem, it is easier to solve.
I can do everything, but I want nothing
And what if everything is good on the outside, but vague dissatisfaction is gnawing inside? From the outside, the person looks successful. He has everything - work, wealth, beloved family, recognition. Every day is filled with activities and meetings. And there is no joy. Moreover, everything seems like a useless fuss, people are increasingly annoying. By the evening such fatigue accumulates, as if he had been unloading the carriages all day. And in the morning you can't wake up, don't force yourself to get up, step into this meaningless life.
This is how a sound vector can appear, whose strongest and often unconscious desires remain unfulfilled. The sound vector is filled with knowledge, the disclosure of the meaning of existence. Who am I? Why am I? What is the sense of life? Why does everything exist? If there are no answers to these questions, if the huge abstract intellect of the sound engineer, which is given to him in order to answer such questions, is not applied in life, there is a breakdown, fatigue from life.
The unrealized sound vector, being dominant, sooner or later becomes the cause of deterioration in all spheres of life. There is a feeling of meaninglessness, which prevents you from investing in work, family, and does not allow you to enjoy the fruits of your labor and moments of rest. Until the sound vector is full, there is no satisfaction from life and will not be. As a result, the desire to do something disappears, I do not want anything, sleep problems arise, often headaches and other psychosomatic disorders. There is a feeling that you have been driven into a dead end.
Solution: understand what desires the sound vector awakens in us, and begin to fill them, allocate time for this every day. These are the desire to think, to know, to describe what was learned in words. Create ideas. Do intellectual work for the good of society. And the most important thing is to get to know yourself and other people, to reveal how the psyche works. As the experience of those who have undergone training in Systemic Vector Psychology shows, this becomes the most effective remedy for latent depression and fatigue. This is how the trainees of the training talk about it:
To be continued…