We already feel good, or Love without obligation
We all want to be happy as a couple and we suffer a lot when there are obstacles. But often we ourselves play the role of these obstacles. We know perfectly well what is required of a loved one for our own happiness, but we rarely think about what is necessary for not only us, but also he to be happy. What are his desires, what does he think, what does he like?
The most difficult task for a woman is
to prove to a man the seriousness of his intentions.
Anonymous
Who doesn't dream of love? Love is beautiful. She, like a good fairy, turns a monotonous life into bright happiness. But according to all the laws of the genre, exactly at midnight, happiness turns into a pumpkin. In other words, everything is so short, and again - welcome back to monotony. They also believed that true mutual love is a rarity. Therefore, when this suddenly happened, they decided that they miraculously got into the number of the elect. True, reciprocity is not a guarantee yet …
She
I always thought that love should happen in adolescence or early youth. After I turned 30, I realized that I was dreaming not of love, but of quiet family happiness. This is the only thing that I lacked in my rather arranged life. I considered myself quite happy until I met him.
Meeting with him divided my life into "before" and "after". He seemed to have launched in me another mechanism of perception and thinking, about which I had no idea. I was interested in him literally everything from the first minute of meeting: how he looks, what words he uses, what poses he takes. He charmed and bewitched me so that I almost physically felt the birth of a new feeling in every cell of my body.
Then we were whirled in a fantastic kaleidoscope of romantic meetings, nightly revelations and sexual discoveries. Yes, yes, just discoveries, because with him I felt like a woman. But even this against the background of everything else was just a nice bonus. It was as if the slide was changed in my head: everything around became more convex and colorful, and in simple actions so much sense suddenly appeared, even if I was just walking down the street. In a word, I experienced happiness, and this feeling has not left me for almost a year since the day we first met.
But he has one drawback - he is a man of Peace. This means that he has no concept of home and home. In my city he happened to be on business, but there are still a great many such cases and cities. He warned me about this from the very beginning, probably to avoid empty illusions on my part. And I agreed. It seemed to me that this is a small price to pay for unexpected happiness. Moreover, deep down, I hoped that everything could still change.
Our periodic partings did not prevent us from getting closer. He never left me, even if we were thousands of kilometers apart. In every message, in every telephone conversation, I saw how much he needed me, even if we were talking about the weather. Something special was happening between us, unlike anything else. We were so embedded in each other with thoughts that I no longer understood which of them were mine and which were his.
But, probably, a person is not able to be content with what he has. It is given to me to love, but this is not enough for me. It’s more and more difficult for me to live in constant tension and complete uncertainty. Even plans for the evening are an unacceptable luxury, because he does not know what will happen in five minutes. Fed up with hotels and life on suitcases. As I walk him to the airport, I never know when we will see each other next time.
I have no doubt about his feelings, but he still hasn't given a name to what is happening between us. Several times I tried to find out, but each time to no avail. I decided to wait, or rather, this is the only thing that remains for me, because I cannot live without him. I believe that one day he will want to create a family with me, because love works wonders, and we have love. I just hope I don't have to wait all my life.
He
I just recently realized exactly how I want to live. This was facilitated by the second divorce, another move to another country and a complete change in the type of activity. I like to live without attachments and obligations. I cannot stay in one place for a long time and constant travel is a pleasure. I promised myself not to start a serious relationship, because routine and everyday life are killing me. This makes life insipid, severely restricts and deprives of freedom of action. And I thought I had everything under control until I met her.
I didn't immediately understand what had happened. At first I was pleasantly surprised by the rare combination of kindness, intelligence and sensuality. Then I began to experience feelings and emotions unknown to me before. For the first time, it felt fantastically pleasant just to live. Only one thing could overshadow the unexpected happiness: for any woman, my lifestyle is a significant drawback. But she gave the impression of a self-sufficient person who does not need children or family. And we immediately agreed that she accepts me with all my "shortcomings".
There was a feeling that I won the lottery: I met an amazing woman who thinks like me and does not demand anything from me. We are well together, I love spending time with her, I love her body, I love returning to her after a long separation. But most of all I love talking to her. It has become a vital necessity. Even in the form of text messages, our conversations are not meaningless. I am always in a hurry to share my thoughts with her, because I know that she is interested in it. She is like a guide to another world, far from the physical world with its vanity and hypocrisy. And in our world we have the right to be ourselves, without false shame and fear of being misunderstood.
But lately, I have increasingly begun to notice her long, pensive look. I felt that this does not bode well, and I was right. She began to want more. What I am not able to give her is stability and serious relationship. It makes me angry and upset. Where did I miss? We agreed! I didn't even tell her directly about my feelings, so as not to give me reason to hope. Doesn't she understand that all this magic will immediately perish in a harsh life? And why are these conventions, when all that matters is that rare and valuable that has arisen between us? We talked about it a million times, and she seemed to agree. Nevertheless, I'm not going to give it up, but I don't find it possible to change anything either. I hope she comes to her senses …
What is this if not love?
I can imagine what you are thinking now: “How can you be such a naive fool? After all, everything is clear, "or" We must act for sure, and he is yours! ", Or" Excellent man got a job! " We all tend to judge through our perception and life experience. But what is the real situation? In fact, it would be good to know what the other person thinks and feels.
It sounds fantastic, but with Yuri Burlan's System-Vector Psychology, this became possible. Thanks to new knowledge, we know that there are eight vectors, where each vector is responsible for its own area of the unconscious and determines certain properties of our personality. Our desires and thoughts entirely depend on those vectors that are inherent in us from birth.
The vectors are divided into four lower ones, which determine libido, and four upper ones, which are responsible for the mind and intellect. The sound vector is among the upper vectors, and it was he who united our heroes in an unearthly, very deep feeling.
The owners of the sound vector are distinguished by the desire to understand the meaning of life. They are burdened by the physical world when they do not find meaning in it. They are tormented by questions that lie outside the material plane, and the lack of answers creates an unthinkable lack of depth. It cannot be filled with anything: neither money, nor family joys, nor other earthly goods. Another person may be an exception.
When a man and a woman meet with a sound vector, there is a chance that in conditions of physical attraction and mutual interest a special intellectual and spiritual connection will arise between them. Being introverted in essence, they stop doing their usual thing - concentrating on their inner states, and begin to focus on each other. Everything that is directed inward is of course and meaningless. Only by bringing out their aspirations to comprehend all that exists, through communication with each other, they are able to comprehend the eternal.
Love without a future
Our heroes managed to bring relations to this level in terms of content. As for the form, there are some contradictions that are hidden in their lower vectors.
First of all, it is worth noting that 95% of women, except for the owners of the visual cutaneous ligament of vectors, will strive to realize themselves in the family. This is due to the fact that initially the woman was not able to feed herself on her own. She needed a man, his alimony as a guarantee that she and the child would be safe. Since then, the world has completely changed, and the attitude towards marriage has changed, but the foundations of the foundations laid down in the relationship between a man and a woman remain unchanged. A woman needs a sense of security and safety that comes from a man, regardless of the format of their relationship. Especially for people with an anal vector, for whom family is a supervalue, and traditional marriage is among the priorities. The most devoted wives and caring mothers are women with an anal vector,especially in conjunction with the visual.
Therefore, it is not surprising that in the end our heroine was no longer satisfied with the lack of certainty and prospects for the development of relations. Despite the intellectual kinship, the woman's natural desire to realize herself in a pair relationship made itself felt. Plus, the presence of the anal vector was expressed in the rejection of specific conditions, which over time became difficult to tolerate. And to live in constant ignorance and readiness to break off at any moment "there-where-he-suddenly-found himself" is completely unbearable.
He flew away but promised to return
Whether it is her chosen one, who, by all indications, has no anal vector. But he has a skin vector that provides him with all the properties he needs for the life he has chosen for himself. The cutaneous and anal vectors are contradictory, so everything that is bad and uncomfortable for the anal is a comfort zone for the cutaneous one. The leather worker strives for novelty, variety, change. The combination of the skin vector with the sound one gives a special life scenario.
Such a person is not interested in material goods, which in worldly life play the role of attributes of well-being and prosperity. Family and home are not part of his value system. Although it is difficult to say that people with a hypertrophied sense of their own worth, which our hero had, in general, there is a system of values that would include other people. They are more concerned with their own persona, spiritual issues and abstract ideas. Sometimes ideas can take quite concrete forms, the embodiment of which becomes their only and even obsessive goal.
Due to the relatively low libido of the cutaneous vector and the asexuality of the sound vector, they are of little interest in the animal nature of relationships. In a woman, they rather look for a companion who is close in spirit, who shares their extraordinary views. The relationship with such a man is certainly very unusual, unpredictable and beyond the generally accepted one. You should not expect that he will suddenly change his mind and invite you to marry, but on the other hand, with him you will experience strong feelings, a real intellectual interpenetration into each other, to which, due to their innate desires, the sound people so strive.
Another thing is that very few people are suitable such a relationship. Only with a skin-sound woman is there a chance to continue such communication due to the identity of their properties and desires. But, most likely, it will not last long if the couple does not have a common sound intellectual field, a common sound idea, on which they will work together.
Do you want to be happy - be happy
The topic of relationships is always relevant and always challenging. We all want to be happy as a couple and we suffer a lot when there are obstacles. But often we ourselves play the role of these obstacles. We know perfectly well what is required of a loved one for our own happiness, but we rarely think about what is necessary for not only us, but also he to be happy. What are his desires, what does he think, what does he like? By answering these questions and understanding its nature, we gain access to a completely different, qualitative level of relations, where mutual understanding and love reign.
Or maybe vice versa - we will understand that our desires are in such a contradiction that it is not possible to be together. This is also a positive result. At some point, we felt good together, we learned something from each other, but it's time for everyone to go their own way.
The choice is yours: to live in constant agony and doubts on the topic "whether I live with this" or to make the right decisions, realizing the true desires of a person and the motives of his actions.
With the system-vector psychology of Yuri Burlan, the alien soul is no longer a darkness. You gain the skill to understand yourself and others, which means that you can create successful pair relationships and generally enjoy life, which is our mission. Allow yourself to be happy. Sign up for Yuri Burlan's free online lectures here.
