Abusive word and children - benefit, harm and what to do?
Abusive words have a very strong energy charge, the child's reaction to them is always intense: confusion, shame, fear, interest, emotional excitement. It is forbidden to swear in the presence of children, everyone knows that, at least they should, but not everyone observes. But what is this phenomenon all the same, why is it so widespread and ineradicable, and how to protect children from its negative influence?
It is forbidden to swear in the presence of children, everyone knows that, at least they should, but not everyone observes. It is impossible, because the mat has an invariably destructive effect - not only on the child. But what is this phenomenon all the same, why is it so widespread and ineradicable, and how to protect children from its negative influence? In conditions when it is practically impossible to protect a child from a mat: everyone swears - from primary school students to unfamiliar uncles and aunts on the streets.
Where the babies come from? Every child begins to ask this question at some point. Having heard him, some parents talk about cabbage, a stork or a special store, others try to explain scientifically, feeling themselves at a dead end: how to tell a child ABOUT THIS? And is it necessary?
In animals, everything is simple: knowledge about reproduction is regulated by innate instincts. It is more difficult with a person, because, having passed a long way of development, he acquires a cultural layer, the purpose of which is to preserve human life from intraspecific aggression. Culture is given to humanity by a visual vector, the essence of which - anti-murder and anti-sex - are always two in one. Therefore, the little man, for the time being, does not know how he was born - the cultural superstructure of generations has supplanted this information. But the human race would have disappeared from the face of the earth if nature had not provided a mechanism for the return of this knowledge.
At the age of about six years, the child goes through the first stage of sex education: he hears from a peer with an oral vector intimate words about the same. Curse words. Mat, one way or another, is always about sex. Oral - the owner of a special verbal mind - is the most accurate in the sense of what was said; the concepts spoken by him come from the collective unconscious, therefore they hit the spot, therefore they always find a response from the listener. An obscene word, once heard by a six-year-old from an oral peer, and then repressed from consciousness, does not injure him, but gives him the first necessary knowledge about the relationship between a man and a woman.
Abusive words have a very strong energy charge, the child's reaction to them is always intense: confusion, shame, fear, interest, emotional excitement. Wanting to find out what it is, the child decides to ask a burning question to his mother.
Parents need to understand that at this moment the base of their future sexual relations is laid in children. And if a child hears from the most significant person that "only bad people use such words!", "This is disgusting!" and "don't you dare repeat it!", then in the future he will unconsciously perceive intimacy as something dirty, unworthy, shameful.
What is the right way then? To begin with, you need to let the baby feel complete security and safety, calm him down, better without words - hug, stroke. Then, without emotional coloring, explain that these words are sometimes used by adults among themselves, and children do not need it.
It is important to realize: just as intimate intimacy is not public, so obscene language is not public, - in a house where there are children, it is simply unacceptable. An obscene word heard from an oral peer is part of the child's sexual development. But if he hears such words in the family, from adults, they have a negative effect on his psyche. Swearing is about the sexual, swearing penetrates the cultural layer. Swearing from parents removes the subconscious prohibition on incest, distorts the cultural component of relations between parents and children, destroys restrictive norms of behavior in society.
If a child, especially a girl, hears swearing during a scandal in the family, this has a colossal destructive effect on her psychosexual development. Growing up, she will not be able to trust a man, be attracted to him or enjoy intercourse. Sexual relations will be subconsciously perceived as something scary and dangerous.
An important stage in a child's growing up is adolescence, when cultural superstructures are laid. Teens don't want to stand out from their peers. And if in their environment mate is the norm, they themselves will use these words, listen to fashionable performers with obscene texts, watch videos with obscene vocabulary and so on. To reach for something that devalues their sexuality, that kills their ability to take place in a pair relationship.
It is impossible to completely protect your child from this negative impact, just as it is impossible to remove him from society by placing him in an "ivory tower". How can you protect it?
At the training "System-vector psychology" it becomes clear that sensory education, trusting relationships in the family, instilling cultural values are necessary for the correct psychosexual development of the child. The most important role in this is played by reading high-quality classical literature that sets the necessary aspirations and dreams. Educating sensuality through literature is a powerful vaccine against any abomination and vulgarity. Such a child will strive for more, he will not be interested in all sorts of dirt. Parents are able to provide their children with the foundation for their future happy couples.
