Real parents and virtual kids. Is the computer good or evil?
Internet communication, online games have become an integral part of children's lives. A child's hobby for a computer, virtual communication alarms many parents and forces them to decide on a clear position: how to relate to a child's hobby for a computer.
We live in a complex, changing world. What was relevant today becomes obsolete tomorrow at an incredible rate. While it takes time for us to master the novelties of technology and computer technology (and the older a person, the more time he usually needs), then the new generation from an early age with a computer on the “you”.
At two years old, my child beat me on the iPad in the "race", he himself downloaded cartoons and updates. At the age of three, I myself called my grandmothers on Skype and passed those levels in games that were not given to my school graduates.
Internet communication, online games have become an integral part of children's lives. A child's hobby for a computer, virtual communication alarms many parents and forces them to decide on a clear position: how to relate to a child's hobby for a computer.
All parents can be conventionally divided into three categories:
1. Those who categorically forbid children to use computers, the Internet, virtual games.
2. Those who devote a certain amount of time to virtual communication.
3. Those who do not control the child in any way, as spontaneously it turns out, so it turns out. He spends as much time at the computer as he wants.
Let us consider systematically what the approach chosen by the parents leads to and how it affects the development of the child.
No computer - no problem
The parents' concern about the child's hobby for the computer is understandable - they grew up in a different time, with different values. It is indicative that, according to statistics, every sixth case of parenting with a psychologist is associated with computer addiction of their child. Moreover, by and large, the problem existed only in the perception of the parents, in their thinking.
“Our problem is you, and your problem is your thinking,” the conclusion of one of the “computer sick” children.
Nevertheless, today there are plenty of parents who are guided by the postulate: why create difficulties for yourself with your own hands? There is no computer at home, no mobile communication means, sometimes they refuse from a TV set: "We grew up without all this and became normal people."
The child is provided with the usual parental accumulated experience, books, textbooks as a source of knowledge … And at the same time they completely deprive him of the opportunity to adapt the new reality of the modern world, leaving his child in the past.
That sweet word for freedom
Communication with a computer without restrictions. From morning to evening, the child is left to himself and the computer. He can sit at him for days, forgetting about lessons, household chores, in no way guided in his virtual activity. A situation when it is easier for parents to buy a new computer toy for their child, “to calm down”, than to attend to his upbringing. Or the situation "everything to our Petenka", when the whole family dances together to the tune of the child.
This is a situation where the lack of measure harms not only physical but also mental health. The freedom to use a computer without parental control means that child development is left to chance. Perhaps he will use the computer for good purposes, communicate with friends, replenish encyclopedic knowledge, prepare reports and presentations, or he may spend all the time on empty "shooters".
Keeping up with the times
Parents are responsible for the safety of the child, for his health, for the development of his intellect, for the development of his innate properties.
Understanding the question of how much a child should or should not spend at the computer, both parents and psychologists make one important mistake - they confuse the concepts of "gambling addiction" and "computer", "asociality" and "computer", "suicidal thoughts" and "the Internet. ". It is very convenient for us to designate the computer and the Internet as the source of everything negative that happens to our children, and then, with one command from the “heart”, to prohibit “this evil” in our home (and at the same time save money, nerves, etc.).
Yuri Burlan's training "System-Vector Psychology" makes it obvious that this approach is erroneous and gives us the opportunity to understand how to properly build our child's relationship with the latest technological advances.
SO
First and foremost: the computer itself does not carry evil, it can become evil in our hands. This can happen if the computer is used as a way to escape from real life, and not to adapt to reality. Leaving for virtual life does not come from the use of a computer per se, but because the child begins to see in computer games a kind of surrogate for happiness, a filler for mental deficiencies, not gaining this content due to the realization of innate properties.
If the parents understand the child, this will not happen. Computer technologies will remain a means of improving the quality of life, and not at all a vital meaning. If we know the inner world of our own child and are ready to invest in the development of his natural potential, then the computer will be a great blessing for him and we will be able to productively use the possibilities of new technologies.
Second and important: by depriving our child of the opportunity to adapt to the new computer reality, we significantly reduce his adaptability in life. Whether we like it or not, but computer technology is everywhere, and the development of technology in this area is ahead of all imaginable ideas. We live in the world of computer and internet technologies. A little more time will pass, and not a single operation can be performed without a computer, not a single smallest production will work without computers, and those who do not own computer technologies will automatically find themselves in worse conditions.
To tear a child away from his time, from his reality, is like voluntarily condemning his continuation to the fate of Mowgli. By depriving a child of the opportunity to master modern technologies at the same time as his peers, we significantly reduce his chances of being competitive.
It is important not to build illusions and understand well that if you can still try to protect a small child from the computer (which is not necessary), offer him drawing, modeling, various live games, then in adolescence, to interest the child in something so that he did not use a computer, it is impossible. Not at home, so at friends. And this is in addition to the school, in the educational programs of which the development of a computer is mandatory. It should be noted that many homework assignments, the use of an electronic diary is impossible without a computer and the Internet.
The Forbidden fruit is sweet. A rigid parental prohibition is a path to confrontation, to a struggle, where everyone will eventually be the losers, because the child's properties will not be adequately developed in the modern landscape. We wanted the best, but it turned out as always …
How to help a child develop their properties using Internet technologies?
To properly organize the communication of your child with a computer, you need, firstly, to differentiate the child by vectors, and secondly, to be able to smoothly push him and interest him.
Analytical computer games are suitable for an anal child with his excellent memory, ability to organize and structure. Thanks to the Internet, he will have the broadest access to all kinds of encyclopedias, online museums, and historical materials. Select content carefully! And let your child read the best sites and resources on the topic.
Anal-visual teens will love working as copywriters. You need to immediately set them up to be diligent, perform the work efficiently, and adequately praise them for what they have done. Also, the work of a proofreader is suitable for anal-visual adolescents. The same goes for anal sound takers. They will also be interested in thinking over and prescribing computer programs. Parents need to take care of purchasing appropriate training courses and let their children hone their skills.
Skinners with a flexible psyche, a logical mindset need tasks for the development of logic, engineering thinking. They use construction, games like "Monopoly", that is, everything that requires quick decision-making, the ability to quickly adapt to changed conditions, leadership inclinations, thinking based on the principle of rationality.
Team projects that require organization, self-discipline, and sensitive management of others will be extremely useful for leatherworkers. Skin children are exactly the ones in whom it is worth developing innate leadership skills. Blurring boundaries, the Internet makes it possible for children from different parts of the world to work together to solve the same problem. Participation in such projects will allow the dermal child in the future to effectively manage human resources in any organization and effectively fulfill the assigned tasks.
For children of sight and sound, the Internet is an endless source of development. In sight, this can be the development of artistic taste, the development of ethical and aesthetic values. Regardless of where you live and what material opportunities you have, you can allow your child to walk through the Louvre, view the best works of art. A computer for a visual child is an opportunity to master Photoshop and learn how to create beautiful images yourself, develop your artistic skills without any materials at hand.
For sound engineers, the computer opens the way to the amazing worlds of music, astronomy, physics, computer science, genetics. No picture in a textbook can replace a large-scale 3D model of what is happening in the solar system or inside a human cell. And the huge amounts of information on the most complex topics stored on the Internet will allow the sound engineer to load his unique abstract intelligence with work in the best way.
For any child, the Internet is an opportunity to make new acquaintances around the globe, to use all the achievements of humanity to develop their thinking, to go far beyond the boundaries of the volume that a specific city or environment sets. It is time for us adults to acknowledge that computers and the Internet are not “virtual reality” at all. This is already an integral part of our world, and the computer can and should perform an important function of adapting a child in modern society.
