Ideal relationships of the smartest madmen in the world
What makes a person alive? How do people live in the world? They wake up, put themselves in order, go to work, which they received through relations with relatives or friends, buy food and beautiful clothes for their salary, if they are lucky - tickets to the sea. They get married - I don't know why at all …
They loved on earth in the past years, But sin and grief, night and death divorced them then.
In the rest of death, transparent wings were given to them, And they were condemned to live on two different stars. *
Here are new faces, strangers. A team is being formed. They unite in groups, companies, couples appear a little later … But there will be those who will not fit into any society. Doesn't even try. They are simply not interested in communication, exchange of emotions, opinions or relevant information. White crows, lone wolves.
Technical break. Anton is the first to go out, undermining himself from his place, zipping his jacket on the go. On your way to the snack stand, you might spot him in an alley. His gaze into the void. Or, on the contrary, painfully concentrated, clinging to the inscription on the wall of the house? The look is as if a person's eyelids were lifted with closed eyes. Earphones that used to hang around your neck now rest on your ears, protecting them from city noise with music at full volume. Such eccentrics came up with the idea of wrapping the headphone wires around the ear. No need to go into your pocket for them - they always hang out next to them.
It will seem to you that Anton did not notice you. Probably, it is, but if he still looks up and recognizes you, he will not show it. Honestly, you won't say hello either. Having quickened your pace, walk by.
Workplaces are empty during the break. All but one. Only Vera remained in the hall, quiet and pensive. After a couple of minutes, everyone had already left. The long-awaited loneliness won back with a fight - a meager half an hour in a working day. Only the ticking of the clock is heard. To stop them, plunging completely into silence. But they hang high, near the ceiling. Gradually tuning in to the rhythm, she feels a new dimension, broken into seconds by the rotation of the hands - time itself. The corners of the lips, lowered down, are now slightly smoothed. The expression goes from tired to pensive. Pupils dance to the rhythm of thoughts, drawing - what? A landscape, a portrait, graphics of an unknown symbol, hundreds of spell words, or a mathematical formula? Maybe a program code?
In the evening Anton and Vera leave together. As if they were not going to, but accidentally left at the same time. They are silent, but they walk a little closer to each other than strangers. “Here's another new pair. Finally, they will talk to at least someone in a day,”colleagues think. But these two have their own attraction. Not a man for a woman, not flowers and sweets for an evening dress, salaries for a hot dinner, smiles for the shine of your eyes. Other. The attraction of two black holes, the imposition of silence on the music.
They dreamed about each other in the blue desert, Between them - the sunny expanse shone, immeasurable;
Innumerable worlds, the creation of the hands of the creator, Burned between him and her in radiance without end.
I have always lived in a whirlpool. Light does not travel under water, but sounds pass faster. Relatives, friends, just acquaintances speak without stopping, without stopping. Each about his own.
My half-brother was very quick and agile. And every day he managed to get me to school in twenty minutes. I made a note on my watch and regularly announced how much time was left. And he repeated: "Hurry up." So sharply, abruptly, swallowing syllables. How did he know if I was in a hurry? Suddenly, getting ready for an hour, I squeeze time so much that there is nowhere else? Or vice versa, I can easily manage it in ten minutes, not in a hurry. And it seems to him that I am too slow or too fast. However, he does not care about such subtleties. The main thing is to be on time. For him, time is compressed into a spring.
- Why are we in a hurry?
- To school, - an irritated voice, as if you have to explain the obvious things.
But I asked not "Where …", but "Why …". Apparently, there is no answer to this question in the script. The brother seemed to be acting out a play: since it is written to hurry, he is in a hurry. How else to explain?..
I had to go to school, where a friend told me in detail how she walked with her yard pack through playgrounds, alleys and gateways. Where is the valuable, interesting information here? Well, at least a little important? I was so bored that I took out the book. Sometimes she put in to the place: "Really ?!", "Yes, of course", "Wow …", and my friend thought that I was listening. In a strange way, I caught both the meaning of the work and the thread of the conversation.
But she herself was more and more silent. How can you pronounce words when you don't know what they really mean? All I wanted to say was "Quiet!" But in the silence, I felt dead. Words - both mine and those of others - seem to make me alive, even a little. Probably, they make everyone alive, but no one suspects about it. And what is it about words that give life, meaning? What makes us alive? Nobody asks this question. I shouldn't either, because the answer is still unknown.
Anton and I sat in complete silence. It seemed to me that we had already been transported beyond the brink, turned into the dead. But no. I can hear him breathing. Such a contradiction that I need to check, make sure.
- What makes you alive?
He looks up at me hard. For a moment he didn't seem to hear. But my lips do not have time to repeat the question: I notice how he froze, even his pupils froze. Plunged into silence. Here, he is the first one who really heard me. Drills with a glance, and I - in response. Finally, a wave of his voice reaches me.
- I myself.
Does he decide for himself whether to live or not? Choosing which words to pronounce?
Anton grins a little. The voice is cold, haughty and confident. Without a doubt.
I want, just like him, to know for sure that I exist. That I cannot crumble to ashes until I want to. Or I can, if I wish. What keeps me alive? Do words have so much power? Or is there something other than words?
What makes a person alive? How do people live in the world? They wake up, put themselves in order, go to work, which they received through relations with relatives or friends, buy food and beautiful clothes for their salary, if they are lucky - tickets to the sea. Getting married - I don't know why at all. In a circle of acquaintances they speak aloud only if they are sure that they will be “understood correctly” - if the words are foreign, common. Everyone who has ever tried to change people ended up making it worse, corrupting, destroying the old and building nothing in return. Often there are no ruins left.
To keep the precepts of the ancestors and follow the general flow without having their own will - is this life? Chatting about important things, vulgarizing and mocking - is that, maybe? Or is it the highest mission to lead people to death? Even those who do not lead this gray, mediocre lifestyle - what are they looking for, what are they hoping for? They believe that there is a higher meaning in traveling, searching for oneself, spiritual practices, science and culture, and I - that this is all just a way to move away from the world of real people, mired in "ordinary life".
It always seemed to me that I was the only one who really lived among the countless crowd. People are much more animals than they imagine, and I try not to be like them. Thinking, not doing stupid things, understanding what's going on. Here, among them, I could only be by pure chance.
That is why I don’t hang around with people - I’m afraid of getting infected by their stupidity. They could create instead of destruction, choose freedom and live normally … At least think about this possibility. But why? The sheep are comfortable being grazed, right?
They're all dead, and I'm just trying to survive here. The only thing that sustains me, a person capable of thinking, is hatred. Disgust for the world so poor, small and pathetic.
“I don’t know what it means to live. I feel dead.
Dead? So Vera is not one of those stupid non-humans who exist blindly? She understands where we are all going … Subconsciously understands. And he doesn't know how to break out of this stream. Well, me too. Let's get out together.
“But you know life exists, right? I almost whisper.
I move a little closer, touching her palm with my fingers.
With fervent faith, hard work lasts for hundreds of years, And now - the Milky Way shines, and the star bridge will close;
All embracing the firmament, he goes to the zenith, And the shore with another shore is now connected.
One idea for two - who are these people who are able to unite an idea into one whole? Paradoxically divorced from everything else in the world. Sound specialists. They demand meaning from everything: a reason, a goal and, it seems, something else … Some kind of deep understanding, an imprint in the brain. Seeking what is not. At least in this world. And in the end creating a new one.
Lyubov Mendeleeva and Alexander Blok - do you think he would have written 417 precious poems without her? In every letter "You" with a capital letter - in any part of the sentence. An appeal to the Goddess?.. Rhyme and music, novels and plays, theater - the atmosphere of sound people. Together they looked for the meaning of life in the word.
Mileva Maric and Albert Einstein, and their collective work - The Theory of Relativity. To compress and stretch time, to convert mass into energy - how? Everything is possible in the head of a sound engineer. But Albert, who did not want to study hard, probably would never have mastered physics if it had not been for the inspiration of Mileva. And even more so, he did not derive the final formulas and did not bring to the result of the calculation without her help and support. He admitted that he was not good at mathematics.
And now? What semantic line connects sound specialists? Ideas are becoming a thing of the past - the masses will no longer rise under any slogans. Likewise, the majority of sound specialists are not passionately fired up by culture, science or politics. They run from one philosophy to another, just to distract themselves from suffering. Dull heaviness in the chest, already bored, and it is not clear where it came from - both physical, and God knows what else.
To pay attention to a person, to distinguish from a huge crowd in gray coats and white shirts is an effort. Thinking about him for a little longer than five seconds: what he dines on, what he looks and reads on his smartphone, with whom he is texting is an effort. Saying hello, saying goodbye is an effort. Coming up with a topic of conversation is an effort. Opening your mouth is generally unbearable! Too much strength for the sake of a person, at first glance, the same as everyone else. But in fact - the same as you.
Immersion in your world is both a gift for a sound engineer, and a curse that played a cruel joke on him. The ability to see in a person what the eyes are not adapted for. And the temptation to look for it in yourself, to stare until the brain begins to water. The ability to place all reality in your mind, to change its perception. And the temptation to dig deeper, to fall to the very bottom of your mind in search of pearls - a secret discovery. After all, it seems that something is shining, glittering in the distance. It is not clear only where exactly.
But this pearl is no longer your treasure, then you would have got it long ago. They are echoes of something greater than you already possess. And what is wider than the whole world of the sound engineer? The two worlds of two sound engineers are truly immense, of course.
What is torn apart by grief, death and sin in the darkness -
Let him only find strength to throw a bridge from world to world, -
Believe, he will find his love, his longing will pass.
Our heroes are exceptionally lucky. The probability was negligible that they would end up in one place at the same time, and even in conditions that literally pushed them forward - in an escape from the routine. To turn their inner eyes on each other, sound engineers need special conditions. The secret is that these conditions don't have to be outside - why not inside? Concentration on the real world, or rather the search for its “second bottom”, has an effect not only on the sound engineer himself, but also on everyone around him. And another sound engineer will not only immediately catch your eye and make you hear the music of his star, but, perhaps, will be the first to speak.
But … How to see in the people around you something else, something important, interesting? In fact, it's not so easy to look wider, to get out of yourself.
There is a methodology - this is the training by Yuri Burlan "System-vector psychology". He helps to understand people and … even himself. Not superficially, through the prism of your own little world, but completely, with precision and to the end. You can listen to lectures to find out what it is.
* hereinafter - quotes from "Z. Topelius. Milky Way "Alexander Blok