Sex without commitment - freedom of love or fear of addiction?
A fleeting meeting, light flirting, quick sex - all this is becoming more like entertainment, another sphere of consumption, a non-binding attraction, a pleasant pastime now even for women …
Lovelaces, heartthrobs, Casanova, Don Juan … A man in the role of a conqueror of women's hearts has always been considered a positive hero - the romantic image of an amorous macho caused a certain flutter in the chest and a blush of embarrassment on the face of the fair sex, while men could only slap in a friendly way on the shoulder and hint that it would be time to settle down already.
The man's fleeting relationship, limited only to intimacy, was not that welcomed, but did not cause much condemnation and indignation among acquaintances and friends, was perceived rather as boyish pranks and a valiant desire to "walk up".
The female version of such a role has always been associated rather with the image of a moth, a lady of easy virtue, an accessible little jerk, or an insidious bitch who uses men to achieve her goals, and caused sharp rejection and condemnation.
In recent years, we are gradually getting used to the idea that sex without obligations, relationships without far-reaching plans, easy and free receiving from each other only physical pleasure - the usual choice of ordinary people, a modern option to satisfy the physiological needs of not only men, but also women, in the time when the main thing is career, business, active life, big plans and time pressure.
A fleeting meeting, light flirting, quick sex - all this is becoming more of an entertainment, another area of consumption, a non-binding attraction, a pleasant pastime even for women now.
Sexual relations somehow slipped imperceptibly out of the press of moral and cultural restrictions. Today, few people are surprised by an open relationship, a frequent change of partners, the presence of lovers and mistresses, sex for one night, relationships "for health" and the like.
Gradually, the life focus of a modern person has shifted from personal life, family and sex to self-realization in society. This is especially noticeable in women.
You may have a million partners, a hundred broken hearts and a dozen lovers, but no one will remember this if you are a successful business woman, CEO of an international corporation, author of unique scientific developments, an outstanding creative genius whose works are in demand and popular. In other words, today what you can give to society is more important than who you sleep with and who you cheat on.
Someone will say that this state of affairs is immoral and cultivates insensitivity. Another will argue that this is a shame and a real woman should be the keeper of the family hearth and the mother of her children. The third will answer that in the modern world everyone has the right to live the way he wants. And there are those for whom the topic of sex is completely irrelevant and uninteresting.
What is really going on? Are women, having achieved equality in rights for centuries, now strive to outdo men in everything?
About times, about mores
Skin phase of development. It is with her that the changes in views on sexual relations of modern generations are associated.
Success today is measured by money - property and social superiority, that is, the main values of the skin vector.
Personal effectiveness, value as an employee, the ability to provide for oneself, to sell one's services at a higher price, to build a career are becoming more important than a successful marriage, premarital virginity, or keeping a family. This refers to the general trend, and not individual special cases.
More and more areas of our life are receiving a legal basis, equality in the rights of men and women is reaching its climax - today, gender does not play any role in the selection of personnel, and a woman can occupy almost any position.
It is in the skin phase of development that a woman generally has a desire to realize herself in society at a different level than exclusively in the role of a hostess, wife and mother.
Previously, the realization in the family gave a woman sufficient fulfillment, but today the temperament or the power of desire in each vector increases so much that the realization of vector properties in the family circle becomes little. A woman feels a shortage, a sharp need to go to work, engage in social activities, creativity, politics, and this activity gradually acquires no less importance and necessity than home implementation.
More and more women are getting higher education, are taking a great interest in science, mastering previously purely male professions, and occupying leading positions. Family, pair relationships, and hence sex, have lost their former primary value and trepidation, receding into the background.
Concentrating on a career, a woman does not attach much importance to changing partners; her immediate plans do not include marriage at all, let alone having children, although she does not discard such a prospect for herself. She perceives sex as a great way to relieve stress, distract yourself, have a good time, relax with pleasure, change the environment, and relax. For these purposes, a boyfriend, lover, in a word, a temporary partner who does not pretend to any development of their relationship is perfect.
The exception to the rule is anti-woman
Here we should mention a very special representative of the fair sex - the skin-visual woman. She has always been a woman “on the contrary,” because only she has a species role, like men, while all other women do not have a species role, their goal is the birth and rearing of offspring, she is a woman who does not give birth, a rank female.
It is to the skin-visual woman that we owe the appearance of such a thing as sex. Before her, it was just mating for the sake of reproduction, and she turns her into something much more, weaving feelings here, creating an emotional connection with her partner and translating a purely mechanical animal process into a unique opportunity to enjoy an intimate relationship. To share emotions with each other at their peak, to surrender to feelings and soul and body.
Such a woman in a certain state is desired by all men, but rarely belongs to one of them. She is always a public lady, most often a worker in culture or art, medicine or charity, television or cinema. The skin-visual woman is a sex symbol at all times and a frequent heroine of literary, musical works, masterpieces of fine art. She is the standard of beauty and female attractiveness.
Taking advantage of her great popularity with men, she starts many novels and can change a large number of partners, but an important factor in all her relationships is always an emotional connection with a partner - her greatest pleasure.
Sex without obligations in general has always been close to her, she was not created for a quiet family life, this situation, on the contrary, oppresses her. She cannot belong to only one man all her life, unless she creates a natural couple with the urethral leader, being his muse-inspirer, his queen and fighting friend.
In the cutaneous phase of development, skin-visual women received their long-awaited freedom and the opportunity to choose their own destiny. They always tried to realize themselves outside of family ties, breaking out of the generally accepted image of a woman, and with the onset of the skin phase, they felt like a fish in water.
Carried away, we forget …
In pursuit of success, status and prestige, we increasingly experience negative states. Being carried away by building our own personal, detached happiness, we receive less and less joy. The higher the fence, the further the distance from others, the less this happiness.
Professional achievements no longer seem so significant, new ideas do not appear so often, grandiose projects are no longer so inspiring … One gets the impression that a certain career ceiling has been reached, that former enthusiasm has ended, or the zeal for work that was at the beginning of the path is gone.
More and more often there is a feeling that something important in life has been missed, as if some element is missing for the whole puzzle, and therefore we cannot fully open up.
In fact, man was created in order to live among other people. Moreover, he was created to live in pairs. We can realize ourselves and get the greatest pleasure only in this way. We were born for this. Without a natural couple, today we do not feel the maximum completeness, even if we realize ourselves in the profession. Anyway, something is missing. They say: everything is there, and there is no one to share it with - to share it, and not just sleep. It is in a pair that our innate psychological properties get the opportunity to maximize their fulfillment. Any partial realization, even at the highest level, does not give real pleasure from life.
Natural pair relations create the necessary base, conditions for the full-fledged both social and sexual realization of the individual.
How much are girls, how much are boys?
The skin phase of development, like any other, we are experiencing for the first time, we are trying to adapt the new landscape, as best we can, as it turns out. In the era of consumption, we are mistakenly shifting even sexual relations onto a consumer footing.
Today, sex services are available as never before, everything is bought and sold, including sex.
A consumer's attitude to sex kills all intimacy, which means that there is no pleasure from sex itself, there is no intimate, deep, spiritual or emotional penetration, there is no psychic intercourse, but only physical, animal, which does not give fulfillment to modern man.
Guided by a momentary desire, we try to follow the path of least resistance - we succumb to temptation when we just want to. We want - we take sex, but there is no expected buzz, since we get mating, not sex. We have long grown out of mating, we are not elementary animals, but the most complex, psychologically developed creatures, and simple physiological pleasure does not fill us, there is an emptiness. It seems that there was sex, but the shortages remained.
I want more, but without the presence of an element of intimacy, this is impossible. Our more is the creation of a connection of a higher level than just attraction (desire for sex), building an emotional connection, spiritual, intellectual, psychological, which, as you know, is possible only in a couple.
Sex that is fashionable today without commitment is a sign of the era of consumption, another erroneous version of adaptation to new conditions of existence, designed, on the one hand, to tear us away from the past, destroying the echoes of the past anal phase of development, and on the other, capable of showing us the discrepancy between by our desires and those elementary and primitive ways that we choose to fulfill them.
This discrepancy, those growing shortages that remain after such a "purchase" should push us towards further development, lead us to search for other types of relationships, to the realization that simple consumption is not enough for us, that sex without obligations is an adventure, but not pleasure.