How to get rid of cowardice
Why do some cope with fears while others do not? One can walk the tightrope between skyscrapers, while the other cannot cross the dark courtyard from the bus stop to the house. What is the reason for this? So what is the reason for cowardice?
I'm a coward. I'm afraid of everything: returning home in the evening through the courtyards, walking past noisy companies, talking to a girl I like - life in general. You can't stand up for yourself or your loved ones. I can't hit a person, even if I need to defend myself. They tell me that I am a rag. Nobody takes me seriously. How to survive in this world? How to get rid of cowardice?
You can find a way out of this situation at Yuri Burlan's training "System-Vector Psychology".
I'm not a coward, but I'm afraid, or How is fear different from cowardice
Why do some cope with fears while others do not? One can walk the tightrope between skyscrapers, while the other cannot cross the dark courtyard from the bus stop to the house. What is the reason for this? It seems that those who are not afraid to walk the tightrope were born without fear. And for those who are afraid to walk past the company on a bench, the courage was not inherited.
In fact, courage or cowardice is a manifestation of our properties, which depends on the psychological state. And if before the system-vector psychology it was not possible to determine exactly how the human psyche works and how one person differs from another, now it has become possible.
To varying degrees and for various reasons, fear can be experienced by everyone, without exception. Anyone who manages to cope with his fear or forget about it altogether manifests himself as a brave or fearless person. In contrast, those who find it difficult or impossible to cope with their fear show cowardice.
The concept of a vector, which is used in system-vector psychology, implies a set of innate properties, desires and values of a person. There are eight such vectors in total, a modern urban person usually has from three to five vectors. Different combinations of vectors and the level of their development explain why people behave differently in the same situations.
Each vector has its own inherent fear. For example, the fear of disgrace in the anal vector. But the greatest fears are experienced by the owners of the visual vector. They, like no one else, are subject to the fear of death, which can take on a variety of forms. Cowardice is most often accused of men with skin-visual and anal-visual vectors. Let's see it in more detail below.
So what is the reason for cowardice? It is rooted in our fears.
The influence of the environment, or Features of the Russian mentality
Cowardice can be defined in different ways. What we perceive as cowardice and what not depends, among other things, on the environment in which we live.
In every society there is a certain view of male behavior, unwritten rules. These rules depend on the mentality of the country. In Russia, there is a special, urethral-muscular mentality, which leaves its mark on what is considered cowardice and what is considered courage. One and the same behavior in the eyes of a Russian person looks like courage, but in the eyes of, for example, a Western person who has a completely different skin mentality, it looks like stupidity.
For example, here is a real life situation …
The guy in the fight broke his jaw and arm, received many bruises and dislocations. It's good that they didn't kill him. When the police investigated, it turned out that before the fight he was not alone, but with a friend. They grappled with a group of drunken young people.
A friend tried to persuade not to get involved in a fight, but the victim said something like: "They insulted my mother, and if I do not pile on these freaks, then I will not respect myself." Well, he rushed into a fight, and his friend ran away. Of course, the next day his friend was considered a coward, since he left a friend in trouble, and the second was known as a hero.
In our understanding, the victim is a hero, and the one who escaped is a coward. From the point of view of a Western person, the opposite is true. The one who ran away showed common sense and remained healthy. If he also called the police, then in general everything would be perfect and no one would call him a coward. And the one who poked himself into a fight with a drunken company (without any chance of winning, just out of principle) looks like a fool who has lost his health in vain and almost lost his life. After all, even the mother, whose honor he wanted to protect, was not there.
When there is self-awareness and understanding of other people, a person will not be reckless in a blind endeavor to prove that he is not a coward. The most important value for a person is life. And risking it without any goal is not worth it. When you defend your homeland, that's one thing. And when you climb into an unequal one-on-one duel with a company of frustrated people - that's another thing. You will die or become crippled. Who needs it and what will it change? It is clear that such people do not care who to pour out their aggression on, and you just fell under the arm.
Thus, we see that our environment influences how we perceive different actions. It also shapes our own opinion of ourselves. If you often hear the words "coward, rag, mattress" addressed to you, you will inevitably begin to feel that way. What will allow you to resist negative opinions about yourself?
A Special Man, or Inborn Contradiction
There is a special type of men who by nature are not adapted to fight and protect anyone. This is a man with a cutaneous-visual ligament of vectors. He would have survived himself, not waving his fists. Too weak and fragile this creature, unable to fight for a place in the sun. He was born to bring a sensual component into this world.
For thousands of years, such boys did not survive and only in recent decades have they got the opportunity to actively participate in life, thanks to the achievements of modern medicine. Now they look at us from the covers of glossy magazines, make us empathize with their characters in the theater and cry from an excess of feelings from the songs they perform.
It is these men who are able to bring culture to a new level - from the value of life as such to the level of empathy for the psychological state of a person. Today, when many of us are overwhelmed with internal tension and we are no longer able to restrain aggression, this is especially important. To reduce the level of tension in society, to extinguish hostility, which, reaching a critical level, becomes dangerous for the integrity of society.
It is the skin-visual men who are able to develop their properties of empathy and empathy so that they become healers of our souls - psychotherapists. If we do not interfere with their development, trying to make them "real men", those who, by definition, "never cry and know how to stand up for themselves."
In the meantime, in the modern world, such men are mostly underdeveloped in their properties, therefore they are often in fear. These gentle and vulnerable boys are often persecuted in school by their peers. Their inner state of fear attracts the aggression of the environment like a magnet.
Their innate qualities are in conflict with the mentality. In the urethral mentality, courage is considered a great value, since it is a property of the urethral vector. And the dermal-visual man is not like that.
He is fragile, sensitive and emotional, unable to hurt anyone. It is simply impossible for a "real man" to perceive a skin-visual boy normally. The male nature inside him is outraged. How dominant, ambitious, husband-father-owner in the house can calmly look at a man who so resembles a woman - with styling, plucked eyebrows, in a "woman's" blouse ?!
It is difficult for a skin-visual man to live in this aggressive world. Courage is not his quality. And in order for him to get rid of cowardice, he must definitely understand his nature and correctly realize his properties. There is no other way.
Big and soft, or How cowardice is different from indecision
The owner of the analo-visual ligament of vectors feels differently - not like a person with the optic cutaneous ligament. Often, despite his robust build, he feels indecisive and shy. This is not exactly cowardice, although fear also plays a major role here. Such a person, for example, can potentially speak very well, but does not use this skill. The fear of disgrace prevents. And others can perceive it as cowardice, call it a mattress. You can read more about this here.
It happens that such men live with their mother, because they have a very strong emotional connection with her. From childhood, obedient, "golden" boys, they can grow into "mama's sons" if the mother constantly pedals praise, literally forming a dependence on her opinion. A close bond with mom does not allow an adult man to break away from her, create relationships, fulfill his need for family, love and children, have his own opinion, live his life.
Awareness of their properties and values helps to realize them. And then fears and uncertainties go away. And the anal-visual man can reveal in himself other ways to solve problems: not to fight, but to negotiate.
By the way, Yuri Burlan at the training "System-vector psychology" does not recommend sending children to martial arts schools so that they can stand up for themselves, because this way they will not learn to defend themselves in another way. It often happens that a person who has mastered the techniques of some kind of struggle solves problems exclusively by force, without using his other properties. That is, mastering techniques is not an indicator of courage. More broadly, this issue is covered in this article.
Where is the way out, or How to get rid of cowardice
The first step is to understand yourself correctly. At the training "System-vector psychology" you can and should do it yourself. Being aware of our basic fears helps us understand where they come from and how they relate to situations where we are cowardly.
The next step after realizing your nature is the correct realization of the potential of your psyche in socially useful activities, in the process of which fear is transformed into empathy, sympathy and love for people. For the owner of the visual-cutaneous ligament, these are, for example, the profession of a seller in a women's store, an administrator in a beauty salon, an actor, and a manager. These are all necessary professions that do not require a lot of muscle mass or the ability to swing fists at all. To go on stage, even in an amateur theater, is no longer a coward's act. And from the well-groomed and gallant sellers in women's clothing or cosmetics stores, customers are simply delighted!
Implementation for the anal-visual ligament is an archaeologist, historian, art critic, tailor, jeweler, artist, designer, teacher. Thorough knowledge of the subject, inexhaustible patience, attention to detail, the ability to teach others - all this is necessary and in demand in modern life.
Brute physical strength in such activities is not needed and even interferes. What is needed is the ability to see beauty, respect for the experience of ancestors and traditions, the creation of emotional connections, simple human sympathy, sensitivity to the needs of others, love and compassion. This is so contrary to the implanted false beliefs - that you need to stand up for yourself, fight and prove something with your fists, and not try to understand and come to an agreement. Without destruction and aggression. After all, the Stone Age ended long ago.
In the visual lesson of the training, the problems of such men are worked out in great detail, and they completely get rid of numerous complexes and fears.
The changed internal state ceases to attract aggression into a state of fear. It's like with a dog - if you're not really afraid, it doesn't even think of attacking. A similar mechanism works in humans. When a visual person reveals his nature, correctly realizes his properties, he does not feel fear, which means that he does not get into dangerous situations.
How to feel psychological comfort, consistency? How to get rid of cowardice? Realize yourself, be realized, take your place in life. And for that, come first to the free online training by Yuri Burlan "System-vector psychology".
