Safety and security before puberty and after
Even if in childhood there was nothing to eat or the city was bombed, but from the mother there was a sense of balance, security and safety, the child will remember his childhood as happy. And vice versa: rich parents, expensive toys from early childhood, a lot of food, but this feeling was not, - will be remembered as an unhappy childhood …
Fragment of the lecture summary of the First level of Yuri Burlan's training "System-vector psychology" on the topic "Visual vector"
People - both girls and boys - are born with the desire to maintain their integrity. And the monkey, and the crayfish, and the person from the moment of birth are trying to preserve themselves. What if the child does not feel the safety and security that parents should guarantee him? Then he grows up with a great chance of becoming a jerk.
“Where did you get your fingers into the socket ?! - an adult knows that he can kill, but a child does not yet. - Don't you see - the car is going, where are you going under it? Until he acquires the skill and ability to do it on his own (to preserve his life), he has a mother who is responsible for his safety and security. It's the same in the animal kingdom.
Even if in childhood there was nothing to eat or the city was bombed, but from the mother there was a sense of balance, security and safety, the child will remember his childhood as happy. And vice versa: rich parents, expensive toys from early childhood, a lot of food, but this feeling was not - will be remembered as an unhappy childhood.
The feeling of security and safety does not depend on external objective factors, but depends on the internal state, which may coincide with the conditions in which the child grew up, or may not coincide.
When we go through puberty, we learn to use our properties, creating a self-organizing system around the leader. Everyone plays their specific role and for this gets their own sense of security and safety, while at the same time providing a collective sense of security and safety with their contribution.
It's about boys. And girls are protected by boys: the wife belongs to her husband (we are monogamous, the woman wants to belong to her husband), he feeds her and the children and protects her from the encroachments of hooligans and wild animals.
Here he is with an ax, he can hammer in a nail - a real man, strong, broad-shouldered, tall, brave. She is protected, children are protected, it is very comfortable to live with such a man. And in the apartment opposite, the neighbor clucks constantly, all nervous, because her man is weak, she does not feel protection and safety from him …
Recorded by Bulat Galikhanov.
August 2, 2014
A comprehensive understanding of this and other topics is formed on the full oral training of Yuri Burlan "System-vector psychology".