I hate men
Because I work, raise children, I stand by the stove and clean the apartment again. What is he? But nothing … Only somewhere in the backyard of my consciousness the same thought looms: it turns out strange all the same. There are no real men, of course - they have disappeared a long time ago.
Valyukha and I sang on the basis of deep hatred of men. Remember how in kindergarten it was: "Against whom are we friends?" It turned out that hate is still superglue. It unites even those who had nothing in common when they were born. We quickly became bosom friends, although otherwise we are no more similar to each other than a bouquet of lilies of the valley on a herring under a fur coat.
First story. Valyukha
Valya is a thin, tall brunette. A well-read intellectual, slightly out of this world. Valyukha hates men for ideological reasons: he considers them stupid animals. They live, they say, by instincts alone: they only want to devour, and even this is the most simple thing …
As soon as she gets to know someone, the man first goes to a restaurant and tries to drag her into bed that very evening. You might think that every woman has it written right on her forehead: "I'll give myself for a meatball."
Keep your pocket wider, attacked the wrong one! For her fees, Valyukha herself can open a couple of shelters for the homeless, with free meals. It will be more difficult to tackle her: first, tell me why you live in the world at all, a pea miracle? Someone felt better because you trample this land for a year?
By the way, Human - this should sound proudly. Doesn't sound? Then by the checkout, buddy. And everyone can eat and reproduce: both a bug and a spider. You don't need much intelligence here.
In short, Valyukha has a gag reflex for all this. For a long time she was looking for a Man in a man - so that thoughts were a little higher than the belt and romantic feelings. I never found it. Looks like they are a dead-end branch of evolution. She spat.
The second story. My
Against the background of my girlfriend, I'm like Tarapunka next to the Plug. Little smiling kolobochenka. And to be honest, I even slightly envy Valyukhin's problems. I would have such a fierce Beast: "Kolobok-kolobok, I'll eat you!" - and how I would have grabbed it with my strong paws, how I would have piled it on the bed …
But no. All my life I have come across not men, but a sheer misunderstanding. A guitar under his arm, waist-length patles, eyes with drag. How darling will sing about high and pure … Just a cry from the soul, not understood by anyone. I immediately want to pick up and warm, groom and cherish.
I mean - I wanted to. For youth and stupidity. Already hired for the most I do not want. Now I just hate such, if I may say so, men. Because I work, raise children, I stand by the stove and clean the apartment again. What is he? But nothing. He has either an existential crisis or depression due to chronic restlessness. My miserable princess … Well, of course, my head hurts every night. It is treated with beer - to no avail. A scumbag.
And it would be okay for these philosophers to live the way they compose in their songs. Yes figurines: not a drop of decency. I strummed one of these under my nose for 13 years. He fed and watered himself at my expense, got two children up, and then flew off to a girl half his age. Now she is strumming about high. Only drafts of his immortal opuses remained as alimony. And I would sell it, but no one needs it for free.
Parallel universes
In a word, it boiled: both for me and for Valyukha. We began to gather for coffee almost every evening. We'll spit poison at the men - and it will feel better for a while. Okay!
Only somewhere in the backyard of my consciousness the same thought looms: it turns out strange all the same. There are no real men, of course - they have disappeared a long time ago. We both agree on this. But in itself the phenomenon of "normal man" we represent in completely different ways.
Someone would show me a man who has "less words - more action"! Here's to you, my dear, for life and for the children for ice cream - and a pack of "crunch" bills. And in the evening we go to a restaurant - refusals are not accepted. And now we are sitting at a barbecue, but with a red wine. And he always eats with his eyes the neckline on the jacket, then licks his lips on my legs. Well, both of them already understand that after this dinner will be … Well, by God, I would have seen this in reality - probably, I would have collapsed into the arms of such a man as if knocked down. First of all, from surprise - can this still happen in the world?
And Valyukha has such a seventh wonder of the world every other day. But she's sick. I think she secretly envies me too: the way the peasants sing my praises. I am always with them the Madonna, the Great Woman. They sing literally. Well, such a pure and bright image comes out that it is really possible for such a woman … well, this is the very thing … With her only about the meaning of life and talk.
And doubt began to creep into my head over and over again: it turns out that my ideal exists, and not even in one copy. Yes, only not in my reality, but in Valyukhina. And her ideal, in the meantime, knocks my thresholds. And no one is happy. Well, we will spit poison and disperse, and then longing … She is lonely without love and heart-to-heart conversations, and I have no strength to live without a reliable shoulder. Why is that?
Why I hate men: I want and do not receive
I began to think that hatred is, in fact, a simple thing. No matter how lofty considerations you cover her, but at the core of the fact that I hate a man, everything is the same. Unfulfilled desires. Buried dreams.
It's easy to say, but it's not easy to live. This is the same time after time you believe everything, you wait, you try to build something, you spend a lot of energy - and then you have to bury another hope. And so year after year. And so it was with Valyukha. We just have different desires.
The catcher and the beast runs
And then suddenly my lopsided luck, apparently, decided to change my anger to mercy. It was during this period of reflection on life that I finally got lucky. I got a video on the net, from which it became clear as daylight why I came across some non-adapters in my life instead of normal men.
Word by word, and I went on to read the article and watch information from the resources of the training "System-vector psychology" by Yuri Burlan. It became interesting. It turned out that we attract a certain type of men to ourselves for a reason.
First of all, what matters is what properties you were born with. What desires and values are in priority. That is why my friend and I like different men - Valyukha and I, by nature, got completely different psyches.
Valya, for example, is a sound player. For her, the search for the meaning of life is the main question. If you look at it on the bookshelf, there is so much there - from all kinds of esotericism to philosophical books. She is looking for the intangible, answers to the questions: who am I? where did you come from and where am I going? what is my purpose? And since she does not find it, she is simply sick of mundane things. What kind of sex and shish kebabs are there - it's just fucking!
And my main problem is resentment. And another bad experience - it just falls like a stone on the soul. I'm not expecting anything good. And I would like to have some kind of joy in life, but again allowing myself to hope for something is like voluntarily putting yourself in jeopardy …
Another huge role is played by the way life developed in childhood. About myself, for example, I found out that I hate men almost from kindergarten age. My father left my mother when I was just a baby. And it was strongly imprinted on my memory how my mother spoke about it. She always emphasized: you can't count on a man. What is, what is not, flew away at any moment - and remember what your name was …
In the child's psyche, all this is like a label, how a stigma becomes. And then I deliberately search for a reliable person all my life, but hidden from myself I attract such a guy who “what is, what is not”.
I learned a lot of interesting things: what is given from birth, and what kind of injuries can ruin life later. I went to free lectures, now I am going through a full course of training.
The main thing is that it turned out that the situation can be changed. Even if everything has turned out crookedly and askew since childhood, there is a way out. You reveal the hidden reasons that have led to a dead end - and they cease to control life. You can consciously make decisions, and the usual scenario is no longer your master.
And I have the first results. It became easier to live, more joyful - as if she had thrown off a heavy burden. After all, when I hate men, it makes them neither cold nor hot. It was disgusting to me at heart.
I will not say that I am now ready to throw myself on the peasants' necks, no, I just began to calmly look at them. It got to the point that I was actually afraid of myself: that I would again get into something … don't understand what … Then again the pain of my soul will be hellish, again I will have to collect myself piece by piece …
And now, from five minutes of conversation, the soul of a person can be seen in full view. What to expect from him is no longer a secret. As if she had been blindfolded all her life, and now the bandage was removed. It became easy.
What I wish for Valyukha - I also invited her to free lectures. And you come:
Life is one. Is it worth spending it on hate?
