Fear of loneliness, or Why are you afraid to be alone?
Icy terror bound her body, not allowing her to budge. My heart pounded wildly. There, outside the door, in the darkness of the entrance, the most terrible monster was waiting for her - fear. Smiling bloodthirsty, he painted pictures of future loneliness and emptiness …
- Nobody needs you! If you leave, you will be alone!
Another quarrel. He swore again, poured mud, reveled in her pain. She cried, smearing mascara all over her face. This relationship has long ceased to bring pleasure, joy. There was no smell of love here. Only humiliation, tears and suffering. Friends have long advised her to leave, she endured. But today her patience has run out.
She stood in the hallway, clutching the doorknob. Behind was the hell of living together, pain, humiliation. Ahead is freedom, new life. One has only to open the door and cross the threshold. Insults poured down my back, as if pushing me to take this step. She braced herself and opened the door. Just one step, and all this will remain in the past, it will go away forever, it will simply cease to exist.
"You can!" she said to herself. I could not…
Icy terror bound her body, not allowing her to budge. My heart pounded wildly. There, outside the door, in the darkness of the entrance, the most terrible monster was waiting for her - fear. Smiling bloodthirsty, he painted pictures of future loneliness and emptiness.
"Not! Not that! " - mentally she shouted and slammed the door.
- That's the same! - His lips stretched into a mocking smile. - Wash your face and make dinner.
He turned and went into the room.
She sat down in the corner of the corridor and sobbed softly. Just one thought of the coming loneliness again made her shudder and stay here. The pain of her own helplessness in front of fear burned her from the inside. She didn't know what to do. Just cry, cry, cry …
Fear as it is
We all experience fear in one way or another. Each in his own. System-vector psychology of Yuri Burlan distinguishes eight sets of innate mental properties of a person, each with its own characteristics, desires, talents and fears. These sets are called vectors.
So, for example, the owners of the anal vector are afraid to disgrace themselves. Public opinion is important to them. They strive for respect and recognition. Owners of the skin vector are born with properties that allow, subject to proper development, to build a career, earn money, and achieve social and property superiority. And more than anything else, they are afraid of losing him.
Their experiences can be called fear. However, the biggest, piercing fear is experienced only by the owners of the visual vector. People with visual vector are endowed with tremendous emotional amplitude. Depending on the degree of development, they are able to shed tears of compassion, sympathize with someone else's grief, as their own, or arrange constant scandals, tantrums.
The best actors come from the owners of the visual vector, because only they can feel and convey any emotion. All the emotions of the visual vector are based on one thing: the very first, most powerful emotion is the fear of death.
In ancient times, it was the representative of the visual vector, experiencing a strong fright at the sight of a predator, which she first noticed with her sharp eyes, helped save our human species, warning the flock of danger with her frightened cry.
And in the process of their development, the owners of the visual vector learned other emotions: love, compassion, empathy. It is through directing their emotions outward, for empathy with other people, that the representatives of the visual vector are freed from fear for themselves. This is the only way they can feel safe.
An example of a person with a highly developed visual vector are such famous personalities as Chulpan Khamatova, Audrey Hepburn, who found realization through help and empathy for those who need it: sick children and other socially unprotected people. Their visual vector has received maximum development to the level of humanism. Such personalities show love not for one or several close people, but for all of humanity.
It is worth saying that even very developed visual people, experiencing severe stress for a long time, can experience fears. The root fear of death can take on various forms: fear of the dark, spiders, heights. The list of different phobias is endless.
Fear of being alone
One of the most unpleasant forms of fear for people with visual vectors is the fear of being alone. Merciless, omnipresent, this fear does not leave its visual victims alone for a minute. One has only to be alone with himself, as he piles on and captivates all thoughts and feelings.
Running away from this nightmare state, the viewers sometimes feel compelled to communicate literally with whomever they have to, establishing relationships and friendships with the most inappropriate people. Anything but loneliness. And life can turn into an endless escape from your own fear. There will be no room in it for care, tenderness, joy, mutual love …
It's actually scary when you can't see it. There is no way out of the states of fear, getting rid of it, salvation. But there is salvation. Do not sacrifice yourself to fear, succumbing to its insidious tricks. After all, it is quite possible to live happily, to enjoy every day. Not to run away from endless horrors, but to take a step towards your real desires and their fulfillment.
To do this, it is enough to realize the causes of fears hidden in the peculiarities of our psyche. Understanding yourself, your psychological properties, true desires will allow any person to open up, will give an opportunity to show emotions and feelings to the fullest for the joy of both yourself and others.
When we learn how and why fear is born in the soul, it turns out that we are able to experience other emotions as well. Indeed, in fact, there is nothing more terrible than ignorance of oneself. Opening up emotionally and sensually, we become able to admire the play of light on wet asphalt, enjoy the singing of birds in the early morning, enjoy the sunlight and the smile of a child, see the beauty of the people around us. Be in love. And live for real.
You can learn this right now in the classroom on System-Vector Psychology by Yuri Burlan. Sign up for free online lectures at the link:
