The bitterness of unrequited love. I won't let you hurt me anymore
Why are you hiding from the world inside yourself? Why do you remember the past all the time and don't let the present come? Why are you repelling those who approach your fortress? And how to open your heart to love?
The body bends the burden of past experiences. It is, like a pack of dogs lurking in ambush, just waiting for the best moment to throw, to tear it apart, to destroy the soul completely.
The past, so painfully wounded, does not allow me to live. The soul is dressed in armor. The body becomes a powerful impenetrable wall with small loopholes windows into which you look at the world.
Militant readiness to repel any attack raises above pain, gives the illusion of invulnerability. It seems easier to breathe. It seems that you can take your eyes off the slits of the loopholes and enjoy the warmth of the safe space created inside.
Do it! Look inside yourself! Is there a joy for which you worked so hard, erecting walls framed by moats filled with tears of hurt? Enjoy!
But your eyes are staring into the distance. They are looking for someone on the horizon, waiting. Will the only one come who will be able to break through the bulk of the defensive structures, take the fortifications by storm, destroy all obstacles to the ground.
To erase all your pain from the face of the earth and, with the peacefulness of a defeated, kneel before you, praying for forgiveness of those who came before him and could not even come close to the boundaries of your soul; those who remained breathless on the battlefield; those who turned their horses around and rounded your impregnable bastion; those who lacked the strength … those who actually hurt.
Powerless against you … Your pride and your weakness are your bastion.
Joylessness, melancholy follow confusion, when an irresistible desire to be understood, to be recognized escapes. When the inevitability of loss fills the ability to perceive, you close your eyes. Following the eyes, the soul slowly closes, like the last breath, as if forever.
Why are you hiding from the world inside yourself? Why do you remember the past all the time and don't let the present come? Why are you repelling those who approach your fortress? And how to open your heart to love?
Who is hiding inside the fortress?
A storm of passions lurks inside. And from the outside it is impossible to reach out to such a woman. They say that she is insensitive, thick-skinned … But you never know the epithets you can think of, just not to see under the cover of armored artillery vulnerable, sensitive essence.
A woman with an anal-visual ligament of vectors is the best wife, the most caring mother, a good and kind person. But bad experiences and negative internal states make her withdrawn, unable to create harmonious relationships. Her natural desires to have a family, love her husband and raise children are not realized, and we see an unhappy, withdrawn person. And the reason for this is resentment and fears - the erroneous use of innate vector properties.
Looking at a person with knowledge of system-vector psychology, we understand what desires control him, what thoughts arise. We understand the reasons for actions and can even accurately predict the sequence of reactions and actions.
No room for error
The decision to protect oneself from pain is made overnight by a person with an anal-visual combination of vectors. It happens that forever. Not everyone is good at forgiving. It all starts with the first meetings, bright and sensual love. Then a break - and everything, as cut off. No one else will let anyone near him for a cannon shot. Although, making such a choice, a person does not mean to deprive himself of relationships, family, children.
Burning in milk, it begins to blow on the water. This happens if the first experience turns out to be bad. The special significance of past experience in the anal vector and emotional trauma in the visual force a person to withdraw.
Phenomenal memory of bad experiences
The acquired first bad experience and gravitation to the past are complemented by one more feature - a good memory. Phenomenal ability to remember information - a talent in the anal vector.
A good memory is necessary for a person with an anal vector for realization in society. Such people become the best specialists in their field, at first scrupulously studying all the subtleties of the profession, and then teaching others. After all, their role in society is the preservation and transfer of knowledge to future generations. With analytical thinking, they can work with a huge amount of information and still remember any details.
When the property of memory is not used by a person in the right direction - in the accumulation of experience and knowledge, then he begins to accentuate remember the mistakes of loved ones. This contributes to the emergence of resentment.
Resentment: lost balance in the anal vector
The psyche in the anal vector is pedantically looking for balance. If a person has acquired a profession, become a specialist and uses his talents for the common good of people, then his contribution to society is balanced by an adequate assessment. He is not looking for big salaries, but expects a special form of reward: gratitude - honor and respect among people.
Equally and equally - the anal imperative. All are divided equally, all in half. The reason for the offense lies in the mechanism of such perception. The man wholeheartedly bestowed love on his chosen one, and that, frivolous (strange person), left. The lack of reciprocity does not fit into understanding, and resentment arises as the feeling “I was not given enough, I was cheated”. The discomfort from the inability to align your mental accentuates the person's memory at the moment of breaking up and makes it impossible to forgive. He has been expecting for years to be rewarded with gratitude for the love he has given.
Love is held captive by resentment
The talent of a person with a visual vector is emotionality. All people are capable of emotions, but only in the visual vector is that sublime love possible, for which one is not afraid to die - a feeling sung by poets. And it all begins with fear, because fear is the first human emotion that gave rise to all other emotions. Fear of death is the lower limit in the amplitude of the visual vector.
A child with a visual vector is born with the emotion of fear, he can be afraid of anything: the darkness, strangers, be left alone in a room. Proper upbringing ensures the development of the vector from fears towards love and compassion for others. System-vector psychology provides a full range of clearly verified and substantiated recommendations for the upbringing and development of children and focuses on educating the feelings in children with a visual vector, so that they grow up happy, able to love, not knowing fear.
Empathy, empathy, compassion, falling in love and love itself are the meaning of a person's life with a visual vector. If such a child has not learned to use his emotionality to build relationships with people, his life will be bleak and insipid. The fear of showing emotions, fear of pain, refusal, misunderstanding, ridicule turns into black anguish, especially if supplemented by the imbalance of deprivation in the rigid psyche of the anal vector. In this state, a person can remain constantly and make a gloomy impression.
Even the natural emotional dynamism of the visual vector cannot shake the anal person's conviction in the fidelity of decisions made once. So he remains a sufferer for the rest of his life - he bears the burden of resentment from the first unsuccessful relationship, does not allow himself to love. The tragedy of not understanding yourself.
In the presence of a sound vector, when a person focuses on his internal states and fences off from the outside world, it is all the more difficult for him to change the situation. He finds himself in a cocoon of his own experiences, from which he sees no way out, since he does not perceive the world from the outside, does not see it as it really is.
Emotional coldness is not only a problem of the anal-visual person
Modern man has gone far in his development from early one-vector people. Today, residents of large cities are multi-vector polymorphs, that is, they carry the qualities of several vectors. The state of each vector leaves its mark on the ways of interacting with the outside world, makes its own adjustments to human behavior.
Emotional coldness is inherent not only in people who have insulated themselves from creating intimate relationships. For example, the owner of the sound vector is simply initially emotionless and asexual. He can violently experience some event or his states inside, but from the outside it will not be visible. Even if the anal sound specialist is not offended, he can be perceived as an emotionally cold person because he does not express his feelings. A person with a skin vector can save on expressing their feelings, not consider it necessary to show them. Thus, similar external manifestations have completely different psychological backgrounds.
How to open up to a sincere relationship?
Fear and resentment, isolation and the desire for loneliness build a protective bulwark around a person and create problems in communicating with others, deprive them of the opportunity to enjoy life. You shouldn't give up your pride, but you shouldn't elevate it to pride. There is no need to defend your weakness, you can thank your beloved man for protection. War will not bring heavenly pleasure to the soul, nor will it please the body with earthly pleasure.
No matter how old you are, you can change your life, you can create new relationships, fix old ones, forgive grievances and fill your life with joy.
You can stop expecting pain and start feeling joy, learn to trust, forgive offenses and consciously build relationships at the training in system-vector psychology.
This is evidenced by the results of people who underwent training and mastered systems thinking:
Already at the free online training, you will understand how to free yourself from resentment, and then you no longer have to build a fortress around yourself and you can let love into your life. Register here!
