My child is "developmentally lagging." Pseudo-autism - NO false diagnoses
“Your child is inadequate. He is clearly lagging behind in development. If you want him to master at least something, hire tutors. Otherwise, he will finish school with a certificate,”the teacher stunned me with such a statement, calling me to school.
Today my son came home from school very proud - there is a five in his diary. Moreover, he did not come alone - a school friend dropped in to visit him. The boys were playing merrily and fooling around, talking in their own language, which I did not quite understand. Some "bakugans", their strength, something else were discussed …
Looking at the boys, I felt a lonely tear roll down my cheek …
A year ago…
“Your child is inadequate. He is clearly lagging behind in development. If you want him to learn at least something, hire tutors. Otherwise, he will finish school with a certificate,”the teacher stunned me with such a statement, calling me to school. I was shocked, this is not a statement about why the child is stunted.
At that time, the boy managed to study in the first grade for two weeks.
“Your son doesn't listen to me in class, he can get up at any moment and stare blankly out the window instead of studying. He absolutely does not know how to communicate with peers, shies away from children, sits on the sidelines during recess, does not play with anyone. And yesterday he almost ripped off the ruler: during the performance of the anthem, he plugged his ears and began to shout in a wild voice. I couldn't do anything with him. And check his ear - he constantly asks me again …"
To say that I was upset is to say nothing. The world was covered with a black veil of cold sticky horror. So my child is crazy?..
Why? After all, at the age of five he independently learned to read. And at the age of six, he knew better than me in the computer. And now - lagging behind in development?
As a mother with a medical degree, I hoped that medicine would provide answers to my questions. Trying to find out why the child cannot adapt at school, why he refuses to work in the classroom, I took him to neuropathologists, psychologists and other specialists.
Having passed all possible examinations, I received a doctor's conclusion in my hands, which indicated that the child had no physiological abnormalities, but there were "behavioral disorders." Hearing is normal. The doctor even joked that my son hears too well. I did not attach any importance to this.
It was then that I first heard the term "autism spectrum disorder."
Naturally, I wondered why these disorders have arisen, and what to do with them. I never got a clear answer to the first half of the question. The neuropathologist said that the child may have increased intracranial pressure, since the volume of his head exceeds the norm for his age. However, examination of the pathology did not reveal.
The psychologist noted that such behavioral deviations can be the result of birth trauma, but not always appear immediately. She also asked me to draw a portrait of her son. Examining the drawing (and I depicted my son in a suit and a hat), she gently noticed that I want my child to become an adult as soon as possible, and put excessive pressure on him.
As for the question of what to do, I received an impressive list of drugs to improve the blood supply to the brain, which needed to be taken in the form of pills and injections. In addition, a massage of the collar zone and several physical procedures were prescribed.
There was a problem with the massage: at the slightest touch, the child shrank so much that the entire effectiveness of the procedure was nullified.
The psychologist offered to take a course of classes "for behavior correction".
I conscientiously fulfilled all the assignments, at the same time taking additional lessons with my son - I had to make up for what he had not mastered at school. Much to my amazement, we mastered a one-month school program at home in a week. Effortlessly …
However, the problems have not disappeared. The teacher still complained that the boy refuses to complete assignments, does not obey in the classroom, and cannot establish contact with classmates. I realized that I had to look for another solution, how to deal with a child who was lagging behind in development.
Once, having come to school for my son, I saw that the desk at which he was sitting alone had been moved away from the other children, "because it interferes with studying." My son became an outcast …
Sound vector and autistic manifestations
I found the answers to the questions swarming in my head where I did not expect at all. Accidentally getting to the training in system-vector psychology, I learned how to help my child.
At the training, the theme of which was the sound vector, it dawned on me: my child is being described!
“About 5% of children are born with a sound vector. Their erogenous zone is the supersensitive ear. Species role - night guard of the pack …
The sound vector in childhood can manifest itself in different ways.
The little sonicist is distinguished from his peers by his look - not for his age, serious, attentive. You wushi-pusi to him, and the baby, sitting in his mother's arms, responds with an attentive look, embarrassing with adult seriousness …
Growing up, these silent children often prefer the silence of their room than the noisy company of their peers. They quickly get tired of active games, but calmly play alone. Such children love to hide in closets - they like to sit in silence and twilight …
Often, sound people start talking late, although another picture is possible - they start talking early and immediately in coherent phrases …
Children with a sound vector often have a so-called sleep disorder - they confuse day with night. However, looking at the root of the problem, one can understand that this is by no means a violation - these children are by nature programmed to stay awake at night. This allows them to fulfill their specific role.
It should be borne in mind that such a child can sleep peacefully to loud music, but at the same time will instantly wake up, as soon as the cat in the next room rustles with a piece of paper. Such a reaction is easily explainable: the music does not pose a danger, but the obscure rustle in the dark instantly awakens in the depths the subconscious of the child the instincts of the night guard of the pack …
Children with a sound vector often ask almost philosophical questions: “Mom, where does all this come from? Why am I? What are stars? Mom, what is life? " From early childhood they are interested in the meaning of life …"
While listening to the lecture, I tried to get rid of the obsessive thought that the leading clairvoyant. Otherwise, how can he describe so accurately a child whom he has never seen in his life?
The problem with sleep was observed almost from birth, God only knows how many kilometers I wound, nursing around the room at night with the baby in my arms. He was not interested in lying in the crib, but we studied the surroundings with curiosity. But getting up in the morning is still a problem for us.
At some point, a new problem caught up - in the evening we had a “critical hour”. For an hour, the child started screaming, despite all my attempts to calm him down. I turned to specialists - but they did not find any deviations. The solution to the problem was found by chance: as soon as the light was turned off and complete silence was created, the baby calmed down and calmed down.
When my son grew up, I noticed another oddity: he expressed his emotions extremely sparingly. Where I would have fought hysterically or laughed, he could, at best, grimace or smile.
Once, walking home from the kindergarten, we had a fight, and I said that "since he does not obey me, it means that he is no longer my son, and I will leave him." I expected tears, apologies … But an oppressive silence hung behind my back. After walking a dozen steps, I turned around - the boy stood still and just looked after me. Heart ached painfully - well, what is it? He didn't even shed a tear …
If I knew how such "education" would turn out for my little sonic …
My child learned to read at the age of five, and it was discovered by chance. I noticed that he can easily navigate computer games that require reading the rules. At the same time, he reads exclusively encyclopedias. Other books are simply not interesting to him. He killed a kindergarten teacher with the statement that a brick can be made alive by adding carbon atoms to its composition. From the point of view of physics, he is absolutely right.
And at school it lags behind in development …
During the training, I understood what was the cause of my son's school problems. The ear is a particularly sensitive (erogenous) zone of the sound child. Quiet harmonious sounds bring pleasure to the sound engineer. However, they are able to experience true pleasure only by listening to absolute silence.
Children with a sound vector by nature, in potential, are endowed with the greatest intelligence. Concentrating in silence in search of disturbing sounds on the "sounds" of their inner world, little sound people develop their minds so that in the future brilliant ideas arise in their heads.
School is an aggressive environment for such a child. Noise, screams, loud music - all this forced him to narrow his auditory perception. This, in turn, led to the fact that he was unable to assimilate information. The more the teacher tried to get a reaction from him, the deeper the boy plunged into his "shell".
To understand what a child experiences with a sound vector, on which the cacophony characteristic of school falls every day, try for a moment to imagine that you have very delicate thin skin in need of clothes made of the finest silk. But instead of silk, you are offered to dress in thorny sackcloth, tearing the skin to blood. Unpleasant sensations - you want to throw off the sackcloth immediately.
Cacophony, screams, scandals - all this plunges the sound engineer into the same super-stress as a person with delicate skin, dressed in thorny rags, experiences.
However, the sound engineer is unable to get rid of the "rags" - his super-sensitive hearing is always on guard. Loud screams, scandals in the family, sounds of repairs coming from a nearby construction site - the constant noise of a hot nail bites into the sensitive ear of the sound engineer.
The child, trying to protect himself from sounds that traumatize his psyche, unconsciously reduces his susceptibility to external stimuli, gradually withdrawing into himself and losing the ability to contact the outside world. If a small sound engineer is constantly in such an environment, the worst thing begins: the body turns on the self-defense system and the neural connections of the brain gradually die off. As a result, psychologists get the opportunity to once again fix the diagnosis of autism.
But loud sounds and screams are just one of the reasons that can lead to the development of such abnormalities in a sound child. Do not forget that its sensor sensitively picks up not only the sound itself, but also its intonation.
Some words, even spoken in a whisper, have a detrimental effect on the psyche of a child.
Children with a sound vector differ in some detachment from the world. They are thoughtful, sometimes seem slow and even sluggish. The mother, not understanding the reasons for this behavior, gets irritated, begins to urge the child. In such a state, words, terrible for the psyche of the sound engineer, can sound: “Brake! Idiot! Why did I give birth to you …"
And the child, trying to hide from them, begins to go out "outside" less and less often, hiding on the other side of the eardrum - the outside world for him becomes more and more illusory. No wonder they say that there is nothing worse than a mother's curse. It is mothers who, out of the best intentions, sometimes destroy their own children.
Not realized, no. Unknowingly
All the more terrible are the numbers - over the past decade, the number of autistic people has increased 4 times …
Listening to Yuri Burlan, I felt cold inwardly: when problems began at school, I took a very tough stance and constantly pressed the child. Sometimes she would break down and scream …
Mom's impatience, the change of home environment to the noisy hubbub of the school, the activity of classmates, the peremptory nature of the teacher, loud music on the rulers - all this forced my son to hide deep within himself.
And instead of creating a quiet, calm environment for the child in which he could develop perfectly, I hovered over him like a helicopter and impatiently urged him on: “Well, why are you still? It's an easy task - solve it faster! How do you write? Can't you hold a straight stick? Rewrite!"
Today…
I was able to relieve my child of being labeled as “developmental delayed”.
Understanding that many manifestations of my son's character are not symptoms of a disease or pathology, as modern psychology claims, but specific properties that are inherent only in him and are absent in children with a different set of vectors, helped me to solve many problems.
I am firmly convinced of one thing, no matter how you ask yourself why a child is stunted in growth or why adaptation problems arise, knowledge of human nature can shed light on any problem.
Yuri Burlan makes one strict requirement to his listeners: “Don't believe! Do not believe a single word said during the training. Recheck everything in life!"
I double-checked
I began to talk to the child in a benevolent whisper - and he hears me! But not so long ago I could not shout to him, and the world was dragged into a black veil from the realization of my own powerlessness. I turn on quiet music at night - and my son sleeps peacefully, not jumping up in the middle of the night.
We do our homework in silence against the background of barely audible classical music - and the teacher is amazed to note that my child is confidently catching up with the best students in the class, and sometimes even surpassing them.
I explained to the household what our little sound person experiences at loud sounds and how he reacts to the disagreements of his parents - and now we clearly observe the ecology of sound, and all the clarification of the relationship is postponed to the time when the son is not at home.
This rule had a very funny side effect: it turned out that controversial issues can be resolved without raising your voice at all. Gradually, the disagreements almost disappeared.
I talked to the teacher, explained to her that the child has super-sensitive hearing, and loud noises hurt him. In addition, I conveyed to her the idea that his lethargy can be explained very simply - it takes time for him to get out of his inner world into our reality. Now the son is sitting on the first desk and is friends with the girl Lisa, and the teacher treats him in a completely different way. About any tutors speech no longer comes.
Today my son came home from school very proud - there is a five in his diary. Moreover, he did not come alone - a school friend came to visit him. The boys were playing merrily and fooling around, talking in their own language, which I did not quite understand. Some "bakugans", their strength, something else were discussed …
Looking at them, I felt my breath catch in happiness.
The happiness of my child is my result from the training. And I think that for every mother this is the greatest thing that can happen in life … And I am not alone. More than 600 parents share their unique results. Therefore, I invite you to Yuri Burlan's free online lectures - a conscious approach is immeasurably better than blind education. You can register here.
The article was written using materials from trainings on system-vector psychology by Yuri Burlan.
