Anton came and ate everyone
Today the guest will be an oral friend Anton, a joker, the soul of the company, a jester, a merry fellow, a pig and a rare bastard. As always, he is interested in two questions: will there be "fried chicken" and "new heifers" …
Party at home, festive mood, many invited guests. Almost all the guests are familiar with each other, and, of course, not without newly arrived young girls, new passions of my friends, or simply stray friends with beautiful slender bodies and wide eyes. Today the guest will be an oral friend Anton, a joker, the soul of the company, a jester, a merry fellow, a pig and a rare bastard. The day before, I had the good fortune to invite him to this party, and, as always, I had to persuade him, realizing that even if there was a nuclear war, he would definitely survive and would come anyway. As always, he is interested in two questions: will there be "fried chicken" and "new heifers" …
It is certainly said about him: "to see you is one pleasure, not to see is another"! Indeed, an evening with him is fundamentally different from evenings with approximately the same composition, but without him. As a rule, he comes last when the audience is already assembled. I cannot say that this is the brightest and most prominent figure in the company, no, it is simply impossible not to note that not everyone is relaxed in his presence. I will not write about those who have known him for a long time, accepted him and resigned themselves, I will only say that everyone's personal life is closed from him with a heavy bolt and backed up with a mop. And not in vain: on his account there are a couple of funny divorces and a myriad of loud quarrels!
His voice is already heard from the elevator, despite the fact that there is no one in the hallway. Without greetings, taking off his shoes, he is already telling the story of how difficult it was to get there, what he heard on the radio in the car, how he almost took off two prostitutes - and we would never have waited for him … Then follows the censorship … Not for a minute, his lips, like tomatoes, climb to kiss. How! Kiss! This is a mandatory procedure for greeting, goodbye, forgiveness and just in between …
This is followed by the inevitable passage into the living room - to the TABLE! A malicious squint when examining people and an obscene examination of new victims! He doesn't care what they said before him, like it or not, but then the conversation will go on starting from him! God forbid some left-wing girl to make him a cultural remark, in any, even mild form. In milder forms, I manage to insert a word or interrupt it, thereby taking me away from the victim, but alas - only for a while. As a rule, after a while he returns to her - and then God will send. Moving his gaze to her, and naturally the gaze of the others, he makes a meaningful pause, and then a dialogue follows, no, rather a monologue. He says that she has "cool boobs" and with absolutely amazing sincerity asks: "Yours?" She should laugh, laugh it off, be offended in the end! But no!She starts a dialogue in the sense that the most beautiful thing in a woman is her eyes, soul, culture at worst, thereby swallowing the bait up to the tonsils.
The longer this conversation lasts and the more participants and arguments are involved in it, the more people at this table will then for a long time and sacredly believe that the most beautiful thing in a woman is boobs! Where and under what circumstances can you talk so much about this? How can educated and mature people laugh to tears when discussing this topic? Nevertheless, I personally laugh to tears, I no longer feel sorry for anyone and do not need to protect, I would take my breath away from laughter! At the beginning of the conversation, the truth is on her side, but after three words of his, her arguments end. And somehow everyone immediately understands how to behave further! And especially the other girls!
When Anton starts eating, I repeat, not eating, but eating, pieces of the unfortunate chicken fly in different directions along with saliva, this is natural, because even when he eats, he does not stop talking - he talks and laughs. No one else has a desire to make a remark to him, moreover, and this is a fact, everyone around seems to forget about culture. No, of course, a general sin does not begin, checkmate and dancing on the table. But all the serving, plates, napkins, like all curtsies and selected words, are mixed into a common funnel and, as unnecessary, fly out the window. In this house, in this society, for this period of time, a completely different system of values reigns.
This is not collective hypnosis, delirium, clouding - no! This is an almost imperceptible process: everything seems to be going on as usual, like there is a funny and unusual guy (and he turns from a pig into an unusual guy in a matter of seconds), it seems like girls like him, and they very quickly abandon their protests, like he is a normal man - from the point of view of our men. Everything is very invisible to everyone! They are unconsciously afraid of him, they repeat after him, with him, damn it, they agree and finish his started phrases! Now he is already surrounded by new ones, or rather, they are surrounded by him - that's all at once! Now they are already blushing and giggling, pushing their boobs forward, but of course - this issue at this table has already been resolved! Now they are already laughing, forgetting about the manners, at the common acquaintances who have ridiculed them, often sitting at the same table here and now!
Everything resembles scenes with dancing gusli from a cartoon, when the legs dance themselves, and the mouth itself sings against its will, only no one notices this, at the moment everything is natural! He is truly capable of making people laugh at his own funeral! And then … a moment comes when he needs to go somewhere, to another party, to other guests. Without sweating, he gets up and with a smile says something like "okay, ghouls, I went, otherwise it's boring here with you … rams", and, taking with him one, or even two at once, retreats, kissing everyone and sending air kiss. And we … that we are …. we are left alone, and despite the fact that we are 15 or 20, for some time we are all very empty. It seems to me that at this moment we are really boring rams and ghouls, and there are no "for" or "against", just again, on some subconscious, for some time we cannot align the usual pace,conversation, yes, return the footing in the end! Without him, we continue in the same spirit, without realizing it: we discuss, speak out of inertia, gossip. But it is not at all funny and not as easy as he does! And then, after a short period of time, the usual courage and fun, communication and jokes return, but completely different! Our! Cultured and kind, but not so funny, but it was as if he never existed. But in fact it WAS! AND STILL AS IT WAS!But in fact it WAS! AND STILL AS IT WAS!But in fact it WAS! AND STILL AS IT WAS!