My loneliness, or "All people are idiots!"
"You know, I'm so lonely (a) …" Of course, we see and hear those around us. Here's a man, here's another one. And here it is - the world around me. Only this picture feels empty, meaningless, not real. Life is like a video game, people are like puppets in a puppet theater … And why is all this needed?
“… Passers-by frown.
And the shadow of your legs - scissors -
Doesn't cut the street.
You say schoolchildren are fruits.
Cool!
We burst into laughter.
All run into the berries -
Painfully small.
Bananas are on patrol along the corridors …"
Stephen King to Owen.
Sometimes I hear from this or that person: "You know, I'm so lonely (a) …"
These words at different moments in life can escape from the lips of completely different people, however, this article describes loneliness as a sensation in a sound vector. This has nothing to do with whether there are people in the life of a sound engineer, moreover, the sound person himself, being the greatest introvert, is unlikely to talk about it.
The other day, the author of this article had a chance to spend a couple of hours watching another Hollywood zombie shooter. Post-apocalyptic landscapes, stupid grimaces of crowds of zombies, harsh facial expressions of the main characters … "Post-apocalyptic". Even the word itself sounds special. A special atmosphere, a special feeling, a special attitude to the world. And how pleasant it is to dream: no one, there is a desert all around. In the spirit of Fallout or STALKER Beauty! Or fantasy - "The Dark Tower" by Stephen King. Have you read it? The beauty! Or…
Caricature idyll of a crazy soundman
A modern sound engineer often slides into this worldview - when people around are felt like stupid zombies, cars … you can continue this series yourself.
There is a feeling that "I" is one in the whole world, the only thinking being. Alone alone.
Sometimes for a moment we meet someone close in spirit, the same lonely soul, but often we quickly turn away from her or she from us … or just circumstances turn us away. And again we are "I am alone". One on one with their thoughts and feelings, often misanthropic. First, for short periods of life, then these segments turn into long, protracted ones …
We are the smartest in our sound sensations. Too often, darkness reigns supreme. Emptiness. Sound hunger, hunger for answers to internal questions. And all we feel is hunger. And even being in the rush hour traffic crush, we feel only this lack, only our own “I” and no one else. Paradox. Loneliness.
Of course, we see and hear those around us. Here's a man, here's another one. And here it is - the world around me. Only this picture feels empty, meaningless, not real. Over time, the illusory nature of what is happening becomes more and more obvious, people lose their human features, and life has all meaning … Life is like a video game, people are like puppets in a puppet theater … And why is all this necessary?
Anders Breivik and many others who arrange a mass execution without fear of losing their own body are unfortunate sound people, people who have come down to the last line. No moral prohibitions or restrictions, just a crazy idea in my head rules them.
Svukovik does not immediately rush into the "phase of shooting stupid zombies", but only as a result of severe suffering, despairing, having lost himself inside his own egocentrism. For them, people really do not exist, and the world around them is a mirage.
We, sound specialists, should get out of our head!
But too often we are unable to do this - to go outside, where other madmen beat hysterics and abuse on our ears with hammers, do not allow us to develop, make us nerds … For years we hide from "stupid zombies" behind closed doors, turning into those, who in Japan is called "hikkikomori", a kind of "voluntary" prisoners.
Sects, "ideas" can give us hope, but too often they lead us aside, push us on the wrong path, into a dead end.
Music, mathematics, physics, programming do not provide sufficient content for the new generation of sound players. We hide behind headphones, behind heavy and super-heavy music that anesthetizes our hunger, but does not satisfy.
It makes no sense! We are looking for him, hiding from everyone, hiding from everyone within ourselves, and do not find it. We do not find it, because we are looking for it in the wrong place: there is no meaning inside, the inner is of course limited, no matter how huge it may seem to us. The meaning is outside. But not everyone can understand this …
When hard rock no longer provides the proper analgesic effect, we take drugs, thereby disrupting the natural order of things. We are the ones who are unable to get off the needle.
We go on suicidal missions, on suicide, to throw off the body, throw off like a nightgown, because our sound unconscious knows about the eternity of the soul, and - don't get us wrong - we don't want to die walking from the ninth floor, we want to eternity and perfection through the back door. To deceive God, if such, of course, exists. We want eternal life, but by killing our body, committing suicide, we destroy the soul. This is the final death. Real nothingness.
It's always a pity
It's always a pity, because in the potential of sound scientists are great scientists, capable of feeling the vibrations of worlds invisible to the eye, always driven by the question of the meaning of life and not only. Sound intelligence is the most powerful, sound desire is huge, and the pleasure in filling this desire is enormous, sound ideas turn the world upside down. All of this is set from birth, but not provided. And we rush about. We make others suffer. Involuntarily, of course, we just do not understand ourselves.
In general, we are not to blame. Barely born, the environment immediately hollows us through the erogenous zone. Mother screams, father screams, classmates scream, TV screams - everyone screams, everyone screams. It's not surprising that we hate them for this, even if we don't always realize why. They drive us themselves. They make us suffer. However, they are also victims. Victims of victims. They are not responsible for what they have done, since they do not understand what they are doing. Fools. They do not understand, they measure through themselves, saying "Well, for example, I …". They are trying to help us:
- The main thing, son, is to eat.
- What to eat ?! Depression!
- No, give up your nonsense, let's buy you a car, did you eat?
- Typewriter ?! I hate everyone!
- No, well, the main thing is to eat!
Can't do anything?
It happens that we become schizophrenic - this is the point of no return.
However, for the rest it is not too late, you can fix it, you can fix it. Today the cards are revealed - the training by Yuri Burlan "System-vector psychology" has appeared in the world.
As we realize our worldview changes, we become able to feel people as people, we begin to feel life. Actually, the realized sound engineer also feels very smart. Making a nuclear missile is a challenge to God! "Hey, you! The God! Where are you? You see, I'm finishing the wiring here, there will be a boom! Hey! Where are you?" But the scientist at least has proof of his feeling: “Have you seen your diploma? ABOUT! Chief Engineer of All Russia! " And if we are not scientists? We still feel smart, the smartest … But no one knows about it.
Choose for yourself.
Just keep in mind, just in case you've tried everything and are desperate. Come to the training. Self-awareness comes to a tired heart.
