Forgetting Your Past: Mission Possible?
My curse is with me everywhere, and is ready to overtake at any moment. I turn on the TV - and suddenly I stumble upon a movie that we were watching together, sitting in an embrace and devouring chips. I walk down the street and hear the song to which I once danced with him. Even my hometown became my enemy: we met on this square, and he took my hand; for the first time they kissed, sitting on this bench with a cracked edge, but this bus route was going to barbecue …
Memory, you are by the hand of a giantess
You lead life as by the bridle of a horse
Nikolay Gumilyov
Lord, how much can you? More than one year has passed since the moment he left, and I still continue to live with him. He has had a different relationship for a long time, and he himself is not even aware that he is invisibly present in my every day, accompanies me everywhere. It just lives in my head - somewhere out there, in such small neural boxes, from where I cannot get it.
No, don’t you think, for a long time I honestly tried to get rid of this curse. I turned the whole house upside down, collected and returned to him two bags of all romantic junk: souvenir cups and figurines, common photos and cute postcards, a guide to the Crimea, and in general everything that could remind us of our common past.
Pathetic, fruitless attempts … I can’t do anything with my own head. I remember everything: this curl on the wallpaper, where he accidentally left a scratch, I remember in his hands this very knife with which I now cut bread … Even moving to another apartment, buying new furniture and fresh renovations did not help.
My curse is with me everywhere, and is ready to overtake at any moment. I turn on the TV - and suddenly I stumble upon a movie that we were watching together, sitting in an embrace and devouring chips. I walk down the street and hear the song to which I once danced with him. Even my hometown became my enemy: we met on this square, and he took my hand; for the first time they kissed, sitting on this bench with a cracked edge, but this bus route was going to barbecue …
Sometimes you want to run to the ends of the world in order to finally forget about everything … But you just can't run away from yourself. It is unlikely that I will even be able to get married someday. Marrying such a girl is like buying a three-bed "Lenin with us" model on the fly. It's a shame to tears: he just seemed to pierce through my head and disappeared. Lives a normal life, he has a happy relationship. And I remained standing like a pillar of salt with this incurable virus of His name, with this poisonous poison in my own head …
All memory is ready to return: places and faces, day and hour …
Anyone who has experienced such a state at least once is probably familiar with this burning desire to get rid of annoying memories, erase them from life, format their own brain, like a computer hard drive. Why is this happening to me? After all, there are many people in the world who quickly forget previous relationships, easily build new connections. Why am I made differently, and how do I live with it?
System-vector psychology of Yuri Burlan defines the owners of such a phenomenal memory as carriers of the anal vector. In total, 8 vectors are distinguished in the structure of the human psyche, each of which endows its owner with certain desires, properties, innate talents and a system of values. Modern man is a carrier of 3-5, and sometimes even more vectors.
The anal vector gives its owner such qualities as thoroughness and scrupulousness, attention to details and trifles, perseverance and an analytical mindset. But the special gift that people with the anal vector are endowed with is a truly phenomenal memory. Such properties were assigned to them to fulfill their role in the life of society - to store and transmit information accumulated by previous generations of people. The ability to memorize huge amounts of information down to the smallest detail makes them the best students in the class, and in adulthood they often become excellent teachers, scientists, analysts.
But what to do when your own memory plays such a cruel joke, dooming you to be an eternal hostage of memories of the past? Is it possible to get rid of this self-torture at all?
Memory: Curse or Blessing?
Let's be honest: the past is really a great value for us, carriers of the anal vector. We sometimes live in the present as in the past, right? And not all the memories you want to permanently delete. The first school bell … Lilac under the window of the parent's house … The smell of grandma's pies … Mother's warm hands and favorite brown skirt in a small cage …
These memories are filled with a completely different state - warmth, joy, gratitude, peace and pleasure. To be honest with ourselves, we will also find many happy moments in a relationship with a former partner, the memory of which could warm our soul, instead of tearing it apart. Why doesn't it work to treat them that way?
The fact is that people with an anal vector by nature tend to create long-term, stable relationships with the same partner. Family and children are the greatest value for such a person. And even if the relationship was not formalized, the bearer of the anal vector will remain faithful and loyal to his chosen one.
People with such mental properties are prone to constancy, inviolability and stability of the way of life. They find it difficult to adapt even routine, ongoing changes. What can we say about the breakdown of the relationship that the anal man with all his heart strove to preserve until the grave?
Such an event evokes a feeling as if the foundation of the foundations is crumbling, the most sacred, on which life is based. And if we are talking about a divorce after a long marriage, and even in the presence of common children, such a situation can plunge the bearer of the anal vector into a state of meaninglessness of his own existence for many years.
Let's cleanse the past from poison
The owners of the anal vector really cannot get rid of their own memories. This is a property of their unique memory, capable of storing any smallest details of the past. And of course, after the breakup, it takes such people much longer to adapt the changes that have occurred.
But it is not memory itself that gives us suffering. We suffer because we carry a heavy psychological burden out of the relationship. It is common for anal people to feel resentment towards their ex or even generally resent a life that has treated us so unfairly. Often, the departure of a loved one is perceived by us as a betrayal. And sometimes we torment ourselves for many years not only with unbearable insults, but also with a sense of guilt: maybe if I had behaved differently, he would never have left me?
With such "shackles on my feet" it really becomes almost impossible to go further along the road of life. You can get rid of them only through a deep awareness of the processes taking place with us. This is the result of a huge number of trainees in Yuri Burlan's training in systemic vector psychology. Here's what they themselves say about it:
Instead of slowing down the development of your life scenario, you will be able to find amazing ease and joy of maximum realization of all the properties you are naturally assigned to. And, finally, get rid of grievances, freeing yourself up for a new happy relationship. After all, a developed and realized partner with an anal vector is a real ideal of fidelity and devotion, successful fatherhood and motherhood, caring for your loved ones.
You can start a new life already at free online lectures on System Vector Psychology. To participate, register:
