No, Dad, We Are Not On Our Way

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No, Dad, We Are Not On Our Way
No, Dad, We Are Not On Our Way
Video: No, Dad, We Are Not On Our Way
Video: we are not On Our Way 2023, February

No, dad, we are not on our way

Differentiating the innate vectors of the child, we get the opportunity to understand him for real, to realize the reasons for his seemingly inexplicable and egregious actions, to see what went wrong in upbringing, and to understand how to correct the existing mistakes.

Child psychology about adolescent behavior

We love our children, we try to put in them the best that is in us, but sometimes it seems to us that we did something wrong. It is not clear how to love them correctly, what to prohibit and what to allow, how to behave in order to become not just a person living nearby, but someone more, how to open a locked heart if no key fits, what to do when there is simply no trust?

And most importantly, what to do when the inexplicable happens - lies, theft, alcohol, sects, drugs, crimes?

Child and adolescent psychology of the past is based on stereotypes of behavior, which must fit into the framework of "normalcy". The boundaries are very vague and are interpreted by individual psychologists at their own discretion, based on personal experience and outlook on life. Even with the best intentions, we are able to judge children only through the prism of our own mental properties.

The research of Yuri Burlan's System-Vector Psychology for the first time allows you to go beyond the boundaries of your own “I” and find out what is happening in the mental of another person. Differentiating the innate vectors of the child, we get the opportunity to understand him for real, to realize the reasons for his seemingly inexplicable and egregious actions, to see what went wrong in upbringing, and to understand how to correct the existing mistakes.

Is it worth the hurry?

Definitely - yes!

The time for the development of innate mental properties is limited to the period until the end of puberty, that is, up to 14-16 years. And it flies, as you know, very, very unnoticed.

Two sides of the same coin

It is on the level of development of vectors that their way of implementation depends in the future.

So, a developed skin vector manifests itself in high discipline, organization, a sense of duty, developed rational logical thinking and the ability to make decisions quickly. He realizes himself in lawmaking, engineering, military service.

The same vector in an undeveloped state is manifested by parsimony or theft, inadequate prohibitions and restrictions, senseless fidgeting, forgetfulness and complete disorganization. A variant is possible with the implementation in small market trade with mandatory weighting, cheating and other similar machinations, or a transition to open theft.


A person with a developed anal vector is a high-class professional, a specialist in his field, capable of performing complex and detailed work with high accuracy and scrupulousness, always bringing the matter to the end and always to the ideal state. A wonderful family man, faithful husband and the best father. He realizes himself in teaching, science, jewelry art, literature.

The undeveloped anal vector manifests itself as grumbling criticism, muddying everything new without any knowledge of the dispute, sarcastic sarcasm, reaching the level of verbal sadism or even domestic violence. It is the lack of the anal vector that pushes adolescents to particular cruelty, and in adulthood they become the causes of homosexuality and pedophilia.

A representative of the developed urethral vector is a leader with a capital letter, the head of a large company or a whole country, a pioneer traveler who conquers the sea or space, fearless, not limited by any framework. Possessing non-standard strategic thinking, an innate sense of justice and mercy, putting common interests above private ones, he is able to lead his "pack" out of any unforeseen situations.

The same urethral vector, failing to develop in an adequate direction, grows up very first, runs away from home in search of his homeless "pack" and becomes its undisputed leader, gradually turning into the most dangerous crime boss.

Each vector for its maximum development requires strictly individual conditions of upbringing, which can differ from each other in a cardinal way.

Puberty … oh, horror - there are two!

During the entire period of growing up, there are two difficult periods when the fundamental skills of a person's existence in society are laid.

Early puberty occurs at about 6 years of age. At this time, primitive children became practically adolescents, having almost all the skills for an independent life. During this period, there is an intensive development of the lower vectors. Attempts are underway for the first ranking in the team, the first sympathies and antipathies for the opposite sex appear, questions arise “where do children come from”, interest in the genitals is shown.

It is extremely important for the child to spend such a period in a children's team, among peers, where the specific roles of each are played for the first time, communication and behavior skills in the group are developed, the development and adaptation of the lower vectors to the rules of behavior in modern society, the search for their place in the sun and a way of coexistence with other, often completely different people from us.


The second point is the well-known period of puberty, or transitional age, which falls on 14-16 years. At this time, even a perfectly obedient and exemplary child can become unbearable, now he prefers the company of his friends (far from always those who are to the liking of parents), begins to argue, rebel, lag behind in school, the first romantic relationships appear, attempts of the first independent life decisions …

Sometimes this period is so difficult that a teenager leaves home, finds himself in a criminal environment, tries cigarettes, alcohol, drugs, starts having sex and moves more and more away from his relatives, closing his problems in himself or trying to solve them on his own in not always acceptable ways.

The period of puberty is the time when there is a transition from a child to an adult, from the development of vectors to their implementation, when a person first assumes responsibility for his own safety, decides to take responsibility for his own life. Such changes require tremendous efforts from the emerging personality, the tension is so great that there is a risk of turning in the wrong place, breaking wood, committing many stupid acts, to a greater extent due to a lack of understanding of the consequences both for oneself and for others.

Oil on fire

The disagreements and conflicts underlying the problem of fathers and children are greatly exacerbated in the transitional age.

A teenager suppressed at home with an urethral vector escapes from the house, where his highest rank is not recognized, in search of his homeless "pack" and becomes its undisputed leader.

An anal child offended by his parents becomes even more sullen and cruel, taking out his desire to take revenge and restore justice to everyone who is weaker than him.

A muscular boy left to be raised by a courtyard company or sent to the sports section runs the risk of becoming a power tool for robbery and murder, outwardly acquiring the features of those people who are next to him.

Children with a sound vector are especially hard in our time. As a dominant vector, it requires more than others to fill its mental deficiencies, and, unfortunately, there is now nothing to fill them with. The need for self-knowledge, in the search for the meaning of life, reflection on the essence of being and the search for oneself in this world remain without satisfaction. The situation is aggravated by the fact that new generations of children are born with a much higher temperament, that is, the power of desire in each vector than their parents. And this means that they endure any lack of pleasure, any negative state many times stronger.


A few decades ago, these quiet, withdrawn at first glance, as if detached from this world, children with an adult face and a constant question in their eyes found themselves in physics, astronomy, philosophy, religion, music, but today all this is too little.

In search of answers to their questions, they go to the computer and the Internet. They withdraw into themselves. Not finding their meaning in real life, sound engineers are trying to replace it with the virtual world of computer games. Drugs are also one of the ways to escape from reality, from suffering that grows emptiness, unsatisfied and even often unconscious (!) Desires bring. This also becomes the cause of severe depression with the emergence of suicidal thoughts.

Nobody understands him, and he himself cannot understand himself. He does not know that he can help him, because everything is pointless … He does not know what he wants, but he wants so much that he cannot think of anything else. He can neither eat, nor sleep, nor live, like all people, but only think, just to find the answer, in silence, in the dark, listening to the disturbing night sounds.

… Who am I?.. Why am I here?.. Why me?.. What is the point?..

What is Child and Adolescent Behavior?

This is a test of the pen, inept attempts to realize oneself in this world, to somehow satisfy the lack of one's vectors, mostly unconscious, but so acute.

Stop standing on the sidelines, watching the child again and again come to a dead end in a fruitless search for himself and a place in this life!

System-vector psychology provides an effective tool to prevent such fatal events when, in another dead end, a teenager becomes a thief, sadist, drug addict and commits suicide.

Understanding the nature of the child's vectors explains the reasons for the emergence of any desires, which means that it makes it possible to find points of contact with any “difficult” teenager, establish mutual contact and gain such necessary and fragile trust.


Parenting methods based on systemic knowledge are so effective in influencing the mental development of the child that the result can be seen already within the first months.

Each parent is now able not only to bring a new person into this world, but also to help him develop and integrate so harmoniously into society that he can realize all his best qualities and get real pleasure from life.

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